We Climbed before the Klimb 4 Kim...

We Climbed before the Klimb 4 Kim...
1997's Climb

Thursday, February 18, 2016

What Dreams May Come



               A guy at work recently told me, that if I want to dream more, I should keep a 'dream journal'...Any truth to that?

                I still dream a lot.  And, in my dreams, I know Kim has passed, but am just so happy to see her and spend some time with her.  If I allude to the fact that I know she is no longer here, she turns her head slightly, never breaking her gaze, and gives me the most wistful look...sad, but in Kim's way, reminding me to enjoy the moment.

                During such a dream, Kim told me she was hungry for Chinese.  And in the way dreams do, suddenly we had arrived.  An older Chinese restaurant, but the type of place that upon sight you immediately know it is going to be a good spot.  No validation necessary.  Kim usually had good instinct that way.

                "I love a good joint.  This is a joint."  she would reason.  9.9 times out of 10 100% correct (I'd like to say 'spot on', but find that phrase pretty overused of late and Kim never once used it.).  She had the nose for a mom and pop establishment.  This place fit the bill.

                 We ate.  It seemed like we were there a lifetime.  Kim's smile brightening up the oriental decor.  The restaurant was really neat inside and the food was some of the best that we had found since moving away from the cuisine of Arch St in Philadelphia.

                 Of course, I didn't want it to end...but, like dreams do, it faded off as I woke to my alarm reminding me it was time to sell books.

                 Dreams with Kim, her visits, always leave me feeling so good.  It is always so good to see here.  To hear her laugh and see her smile.  This one stuck with me, as most do...and...

                 ....about a month or so later, I got an order from Pima County Community College at Barnes & Noble.  It was a pretty large order and I was excited and surprised since they don't purchase from us often.  When the books came in, I loaded them into the Expedition, Kim's Expedition, and started off...

                At the first light I came to, I realized that I hadn't checked to see where they wanted the delivery.  Pima CC is pretty well spread out through Tucson.  I figured it was for the west campus on Anklam (where the Klimb 4 Kim originally started!), then I thought, maybe it was the one off of Speedway and the 10...But, the address was one I never heard of...on a 'Bonita' street.  Thank God for 'smart phones' - I quickly spoke the address into my phone, without looking at the map, and let the voice direct me to my destination.

               Google had me exit I-10 at Speedway, head west a short block and then make a left onto Bonita.  I didn't think I'd been back that way previously, but found the campus, well, my phone found the campus for me and I off loaded their books.

               I nearly headed back up Bonita towards Speedway to head home.  Even slightly turned the Expedition's wheel in that direction before I flipped the wheel the opposite direction, without thought, and headed south towards Broadway instead.  At the moment, I didn't think about my sudden change of route.  I just did it.

               About a quarter of a block from Pima, I rounded a small bend...and on my left...was THE RESTAURANT!!!!  The one from my dream!!  OUR dream!!!

               The world began to blur and the scenery began to go backward in a very dream like feel...my world had lost it's boundaries, for a split second...and I realized the Expedition was drifting...I quickly pulled over for a better look.

               'The Dragon's View' the sign read.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  The dream had seemed so real - had I been here before???  After much memory searching, I remembered we had been here before!!  With neighbors from the Tanque Verde Apartments we lived in when we first moved here 22 years ago.  I think.  I actually cannot remember exactly who we had been here with, but I knew without going inside, that I would know what it looked like.  Not just from my dream - cuz you know how things are usually different in your dreams (kinda like places in tv shows are different from the real place they are based on....like Cheers.  We went there one summer in '89, waited an hour and 45 minutes to get inside and it looked nothing like it did on tv!!).  I didn't go inside, I felt numb.  Dazed.  After a few minutes, I drove away....


               The Dragon's View would not quite leave my mind, so one night, we decided to go check it out....


Autumn and her friend, Izzy, at the entrance.  See?  A joint!


Walking inside, was like being back in my dream...or stepping from a time machine into 1994...well before everything went sideways...It looked exactly like I knew it would...and I knew the food would be tremendous!



Monsi, Lupe, Manny,, Aut, Izzy and Tonio - it was a GREAT meal!!  They have a secret menu, too, if you ask!!  I have a friend from Korea and one from Jakarta, who both told me that this is the best Chinese that Tucson has to offer and it is the only place they feel comfortable taking visitors!!

A little overwhelmed, I had to ask our waiter and his Mom, who was hostessing, how long they had been in this location.  'Just over 23 years' they told me.   It fit.  I told them I thought I had been here years ago, and about the dream - the service that night was amazing!!  Thankful for Lupe to drive the White Whale for this occasion!!  We will go back!!

This dream journal thing...hmmm, I wonder....



Monday, January 4, 2016

Klimb 4 Kim 6





                       Here we are in 1998, our 3rd walk, climbing with Cody, not yet one year old, and Cajun, who had just turned 4.

                       It's that time again!!  The Klimb 4 Kim SIX will be on Saturday, March 5th.  Jack LeDuke, will once again grace us with his artistic abilities and design a shirt to commomerate the event!  The shirt will be a $10 donation to help Kim's Fund.  All $10 will go towards helping families here in Tucson!!

                      As you may have read, Kim's Fund, is now benefitting the Pio Decimo Center located here in Tucson.  They do wonderful work for families in need.  They provide services for infant to adults.  We have been focusing on the pre-school through 6th grade needs, but have also helped with older children and adults.  Check out their  website via the link below - this place really spoke to us when the kids and I visited it.  We loved working with the previous admistrator, Carondelet, but they have turned into a 'for profit' organization and could not longer help us.  Our search took a few months, but we feel in our hearts Pio Decimo would have been a place that Kim  wanted to, felt compelled to, help.

                     How much to walk?  If you can donate $25 to walk with us, that would be great - but any amount you can afford will help!!  Or, just choose to walk with us, enjoy the day and help us remember Kim.  Help us to keep her giving spirit alive!

                     The walk is approximately 6 miles round trip.  We walk up the road from St. Mary's to the top of A Mountain and usually cut through the scenic desert on the way back.  Please bring your Kim stories with you!

                     If you cannot walk - I know everyone is so busy, or out of town - you can help by ordering a t-shirt and/or sending a donation.

                    Checks should be made payable to:  Pio Decimo.  Please remember to put 'In memory of Kim Conca' on the memo line.  Mail  to us at 10513 E Satiny Willow Dr.
                                                                         Tucson, AZ 85747

                                                                                or to:

                                                                        Pio Decimo Center
                                                                        848 S. 7th Avenue
                                                                        Tucson, AZ 85701
                       You can also donate online at : http://www.ccs-pio.org
                        Simply click on the 'Donate' button in upper right corner.  There will be a place for you to put Kim's name as reason for giving.

                      There are no registration forms.  Help out as much as you can, when you can.  You can even bring cash/check the day of the walk.  We go over to Pio Decimo at least once a month.

                     We typically start our walk at 8:00 a.m. -ish sharp. ; )  I will post pic and address of starting point back to this post soon...

                      Join us if you can, we'd love to walk with you!!













         


"Gone Away"  The Offspring

Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal it's so unfair

And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away

Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and Hail Mary's
Can't bring back what's taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would

And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away

                           

Friday, December 25, 2015

Christmas....5 years after...



    I really didn't expect to find myself here again....Five years after we lost Kim, on Christmas Day.

    What have I learned?  I've been thinking about the blessings in our lives - more than I can count.  And sometimes, when I find myself slipping, I need to stop and start counting them.  One by one.  1.  My children.  How precious they are.  And resilient.  So caring, I cannot begin to relate how they take care of me, putting me before their own needs.  Especially Autumn, who has become such a little Kim, it is sometimes painful.  And Antonio, who is so caring.  His boxing instructor, a young man of about 17, Elijah, told me the other day that when he is having a bad day, he thinks to himself 'I need to handle myself more like Antonio does'...made my heart swell.  Cody, who is so much like me it is terrifying in some ways, became engaged on Christmas Eve.  Because that is when I proposed to his mother back in 1993.  And he wants to get married when he is 28.  Just like we did.  2. Kim.  How could I have such wonderful, caring, respectful and grateful children without her?  They THANK me when we leave the grocery store.  I ask 'What for?'  'For buying us food' they answer!!!  And I am thankful for the years we had together.  And the memories.  And the holidays we shared.  How special she made me feel.  3.  I am thankful for the people in my life that God has blessed me with.  Those who help get the kids to school.  And after school activities.  Those who call or text them from time to time to see how they are and how their day went.  Those who include us for birthdays and holidays, making us feel welcome and a part of something special.  Connected. One, today, told Autumn they'd help teach her to drive and said she should call him Uncle.  It all may seem small to those who include us, but, when we get home...the kids, you should see/hear them - they feel they are a part of family here, thanks to those who include us!!  Means so much, it is, perhaps, the biggest blessing.  I know they need strong women in their lives.  Not to replace their Mom, because that is not possible.  But to fill in some of the void.  The hole in our hearts.  4.  My job.  Barnes & Noble may not be doing well, Amazon is amazing, but it is still a great place to work.  And the team that I work with is perhaps the finest in my 28 year career.  I am blessed.

      Each day has it's challenges.  I wish I could have done some things differently, but am at peace, because I know that I cannot go back and change anything.  But, I know I was a strain on those who helped me most and I am sorry for that.


There are so many blessings...I don't have time to write about all of them.  And, as always, the kids need me right now.  It is harder to find time to write.  But they are good, they had a good day.  We brought Kim up quite a bit, as we continued traditions like making ciopinno (seafood soup) on Christmas Eve.  And making pizzels and biscotti.  And making homemade raviolis on Christmas Day for lunch before heading to Angie's.  All good. I will try to find the time later to transfer Christmas photos from my phone to the PC so I can share them with you.

Merry Christmas!!