tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35263089691786702642024-03-04T23:33:10.419-07:00Kimberly's Journey"How did we get here?" Click on Kim's picture below to read about her journey, from the very beginning. Scroll to bottom right to continue to older stories, click on a year.Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.comBlogger457125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-39444741957814395012021-05-13T11:37:00.004-07:002021-05-13T18:33:14.445-07:00Antonio<p> </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> On the same morning that Angelo was set up to have open heart surgery, I woke at 5:00 to get ready for work. Our pup, Belle, who sleeps with me, doesn't mind waking up so early. Ask her. She will tell you she loves to start her day by going outside. While she does her business, I do knee stretches, now 8 months removed from surgery, most days it feels pretty good. The dogs will not let me stretch it out though, preferring to hop on top of me when I am in the most prone position and showering me, literally, with love. After my stretches, I let Belle back in and she trots down the hall to Tonio's room. Angel, our other pup, likes to sleep with Tonio. She will shimmy beneath the blankets, burying herself and cuddle up against Tonio keeping him warm and safe through the night. She has a sensitive stomach though, so for years my routine is to wake her up, give her a little breakfast, let her out and put both pups back in with Tonio. They will let him sleep longer having been outside and getting a little something in their tummies.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgICAbloevNwiry-BxB7MRc4LvIkCVAQ3AxuZ5vnXcue4Nijz9BlMMkS1oYSo3yFjjprN9yRODle81eEqnA7eCBe2HOhZeSNn73GtCLhF_C146htCYr2_B5gGJocFO05Oc5KiBO_5MqGDU/s4032/20201207_161856.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1960" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgICAbloevNwiry-BxB7MRc4LvIkCVAQ3AxuZ5vnXcue4Nijz9BlMMkS1oYSo3yFjjprN9yRODle81eEqnA7eCBe2HOhZeSNn73GtCLhF_C146htCYr2_B5gGJocFO05Oc5KiBO_5MqGDU/s320/20201207_161856.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <div> Belle</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_veM9vS40KMJ5WN4-Tc0IOkulUfDOQyg8fhzKfEn7kV5N6QmTPRibbLvSz26y9f1983a5srTcnpIci8hFqKahazrzxU1qUXLNAMM5g8P3lSTHGehkHBpmorp4ghz5KNajvc2Hs7UKYe4/s4032/20201207_161902.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1960" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_veM9vS40KMJ5WN4-Tc0IOkulUfDOQyg8fhzKfEn7kV5N6QmTPRibbLvSz26y9f1983a5srTcnpIci8hFqKahazrzxU1qUXLNAMM5g8P3lSTHGehkHBpmorp4ghz5KNajvc2Hs7UKYe4/s320/20201207_161902.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Angel and Tonio</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">On this morning, October 20th, I happened to be texting with a friend and flipped on the hall light as I walked towards Tonio's room. In the light, I could see that Angel had gotten sick at the foot of the bed, so I removed the blanket and told Tonio I would get him a new one. When I returned with his clean blanket, Tonio was having a full out seizure. Eyes rolled up, bloody foam coming out of his mouth, shaking uncontrollably...I lost it.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I jumped on his bed, cradling him, begging him to wake up. <i style="font-weight: bold;">Yelling </i>at him, asking what's wrong, Tonio!?!!? I wanted to believe it was a bad dream. The kind you are powerless to wake up from. Cody had suffered night terror and I prayed that's what it was. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">For one timeless second, Tonio's head swiveled towards me and he said 'Hi Dad'....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">My friend I had been texting with told me to dial 911 and get him on his side so he would not asphyxiate if he vomited. It took forever until I could hear the approaching scream of sirens. I held Tonio so tight, pleading with him to be ok. As our house became bathed in the surreal reds and blues of the fire engine and ambulance's lights, I had an intense flashback to 12/13/10 - the early morning ambulance coming for Kim's final ride...it was so real, I was actually there, just for a moment...and then the paramedics began filling my house, talking over one another with instruction, questions, taking care of Tonio.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thankfully, he cannot remember any of it. I can never forget. It is etched in my memory. The ER near our house took a CT, bloodwork and replenished his fluids. All tests came back negative.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQi2Khge4PaLfqgxwLpRQMOk6Dvzt8yw8XH0Oer18KRVDP9Mp6IMSD_IpXc7QTFTmUr_YJVLXlIqT9yVpJZrsnnEtWPCSFHem6ZnGYYlK0iWIh4ZRFWVUrRlCZAaCMeT41VMNpq1kSmzQ/s4032/20201114_135121.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="1960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQi2Khge4PaLfqgxwLpRQMOk6Dvzt8yw8XH0Oer18KRVDP9Mp6IMSD_IpXc7QTFTmUr_YJVLXlIqT9yVpJZrsnnEtWPCSFHem6ZnGYYlK0iWIh4ZRFWVUrRlCZAaCMeT41VMNpq1kSmzQ/s320/20201114_135121.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">To say he doesn't deserve this is inane. Nobody deserves this. But Tonio...he is a remarkable young man. You hear of people who like to put others first. And those who frequently put others first. Kim was like that. Tonio <i>always </i>puts others first. The time in the ER gave me a millennium to think and rehash - I cannot recall him saying 'I want' or 'I need' or suggesting we do this or go there. He simply always thinks of everyone else first!! It's in his heart. He is truly selfless. Always helping me around the house and asking what else he can do. Worrying over his sister and brother and making sure they are ok. Thinking of friends, family, teachers, and of course, his pets, before his own needs. It's how he is wired. His ghost corn snake, Cruiser, bearded dragon, Jake and our two pups get his attention throughout the day for food, cage cleaning, walks and hugs.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>
Since I began this post, all the way back in December, Antonio has had two more major seizures. One evening, after a 13 hours shift at Amazon, I came home to find Antonio and Autumn preparing dinner for me...amazing kids. We talked and then I made my way to the bedroom to change, still talking. There was a sudden silence, it was as if the earth itself had stopped for a moment. I cocked my head listening, nearly simulateneously a crash and a thud and a horrifying shriek from Autumn that made me feel so cold. As I sprinted to the kitchen, there was Antonio on the floor with his sister cradling his head and trying to talk him through his seizure. I can't describe to you the tidal wave of emotions as we tried to help him, but there really isn't anything we can do but try to keep him safe. I was struck by Autumn's loving, caring bravery in the face of having to witness her brother convulsing on the cold, hard tile as she tried to protect him.
The ambulances have been hard on all of us. It is a deep mercy that Antonio has no recollection of them. I can hear them before I can see them. It is still dark out each time. As they close in on our neighborhood, their lights slip between the trees and the houses, bathing everything in a surreal wash of blues and reds. What it feels like is seeing it all from under water. The sirens pierce the area and they sound like desparation. Or is it salvation? These last couple times its that. Salvation. Thank God. The experience - being under water, hearing the sirens, seeing the strobing lights - flashes me back to the early morning hours of December 13th, 2010. That night, it was desparation...
And it's Kendrick Lamar filling my mind...
"Look, I feel like I can't breathe
Look, I feel like I can't sleep
Look, I feel heartless, often off this
Feelin' of fallin', of fallin' apart with
Darkest hours, lost it
The feelin' is toxic, I feel like I'm boxin' demons...
Ain't nobody praying for me."
Now, it's been 5 months since he has had an episode. His doctors have him on 2000 mg of Keppra, have continued to run tests, including an overnight EEG at Tucson Medical Center and feel the medication is doing its job in preventing seizures.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-sA96JFuMzGO1oQmCnjJxzRuwhQUNt7CV28XS7syUxdHOfbtmHyQqml6xu2E0DsLxW8KBAiYvdYv_ZRk8b4wLfJvKadJggJkfOdSJI5iS_5RH_s-1vS1LzY1LR6XhgCNNP5UPCEcdR2g/s4032/20210304_150258.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="1960" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-sA96JFuMzGO1oQmCnjJxzRuwhQUNt7CV28XS7syUxdHOfbtmHyQqml6xu2E0DsLxW8KBAiYvdYv_ZRk8b4wLfJvKadJggJkfOdSJI5iS_5RH_s-1vS1LzY1LR6XhgCNNP5UPCEcdR2g/s320/20210304_150258.jpg"/></a></div>
To say Tonio has been strong would be an understatement. Stoic, a fighter in every sense of the word? Better, but still not quite. He has taken everything in stride and has done research to help him through, changing his diet to reduce carbs, which can be a common factor in triggering seizures, losing 25 lbs along the way. He has become so much more introspective, routine driven and pragmatic throughought this journey. Every day is a new challenge - thank God covid is lifting and he has been able to see his southwest cousins, aunt and uncles much more which is helping him through. School has been an incredible challenge, as he struggles to relearn concepts lost to seizures and fight fears, depression and insomnia that have been a part of the aftermath.
One day, last month, on a cool overcast morning, he wanted to go to Arizona Sonoran Desert Museum. A place he loves. A place he has visited since birth a thousand times. He has a great love of animals and has recently been talking about pursuing a career in that field. Kim and I became members in 1994 and always have taken the kids there - they never grow tired of the spacious grounds, the environments created for the desert animals and the outdoor experience. Tonio could walk that place blindfolded - or in his sleep. Except today, as we entered, when I asked him what he wanted to see first, he replied 'The otters' - his mama's favorites. I started off down the path and noticed Tonio has started down a different path. He quickly corrected himself and joined me. As we wound our way through the cacti and desert flora, I noticed a lost look on his face and a growing anxiety that seemed to form a cloud around him. I stopped and asked him if he was feeling ok...He said 'Dad, I don't remember being here. I can't remember how to find the otters.' My heart was breaking for him as he stood there looking around, trying to catch some sense of where he was - anything familiar. He related to me that a lot of his memories had been erased - stolen - by the seizures. In that moment, I embraced him and promised him we would make him new memories. Together.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_kQHsZO8hXw8_mduJRI3xMYgiSsNthWG_XqBKz_WD_gDlP2kElSNoHXNA7QxgqUoz1yoV-4HuDfPYpq3a9oSNXyUgAxDxicXmvNqG41quOGqkeT3gz32NbEi4rC435U1Sj13Efz83F5Q/s1965/Tonio.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="1310" data-original-width="1965" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_kQHsZO8hXw8_mduJRI3xMYgiSsNthWG_XqBKz_WD_gDlP2kElSNoHXNA7QxgqUoz1yoV-4HuDfPYpq3a9oSNXyUgAxDxicXmvNqG41quOGqkeT3gz32NbEi4rC435U1Sj13Efz83F5Q/s320/Tonio.JPG"/></a></div>
I don't know what is next for Antonio. I only know that I am trying to do everything I can to help him. Graduation looms and is a huge question mark. His teachers and adminstrators have been patient. And gracious in working with him to help him get his grades up to be able to walk across that stage on May 26th. But he missed so much time. And covid took more, as he was relegated to online learning, which isn't an easy method to relearn calculus or to take ceramics II. Now that the schools have re-opened, Tonio finds himself going back and forth between virtual and in class studies. Depending on how much sleep he was able to get the night before. And how high his confidence level is that morning. His major assignment, Senior Exit Project, combines a research paper with job study. He is working on interviewing people in the animal field. Like Dr. Karen Burrows, who Kim worked for as a vet tech a million years ago and tabbed her to help open Ventana Animal Hospital. But, it is a struggle, as he can't quite remember what he is working towards - how the interview and presentations are structured. I am praying for him and trying to help...right now he needs prayers...and someone stronger than me.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvEcdh9jRVRpNfnZRzH3_8U49wnIauOv3mNkNKDwc5iaIIxZk-czBMI6Lf5F255d86CAA_CY3g7MBD4pwGN7z1QgSFjKJuXy2SzXSJZyEN4BhDKbI5XRp9auXRYKfWjy5h3xefTgqZdB8/s4898/DSC_7371.JPEG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="4898" data-original-width="3265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvEcdh9jRVRpNfnZRzH3_8U49wnIauOv3mNkNKDwc5iaIIxZk-czBMI6Lf5F255d86CAA_CY3g7MBD4pwGN7z1QgSFjKJuXy2SzXSJZyEN4BhDKbI5XRp9auXRYKfWjy5h3xefTgqZdB8/s320/DSC_7371.JPEG"/></a></div>
His kindergarten teacher, Mary, took some outstanding photos of Tonio for his senior pics. He chose Agua Caliente Park - another Kim favorite and same spot his sister chose 3 years ago - Mary did an amazing job with her photo shoot then and she was able to capture Antonio in amazing fashion as well.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX-mf7GzhTBHgBgYDjIcb7V-Ho1nGkclhLp9-5lLK26TJCx1a35GFcTvndzvJdmU3N_dMhvTe0IMBha1Rk-4DuYOSQV_MyWr59SiGiP4RWV6ID86mfR2V91HLCdjf6zKoC9ffGGsBZL70/s5568/DSC_7448.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="5568" data-original-width="3712" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX-mf7GzhTBHgBgYDjIcb7V-Ho1nGkclhLp9-5lLK26TJCx1a35GFcTvndzvJdmU3N_dMhvTe0IMBha1Rk-4DuYOSQV_MyWr59SiGiP4RWV6ID86mfR2V91HLCdjf6zKoC9ffGGsBZL70/s320/DSC_7448.JPG"/></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNVoLxXhiSagKrCy1Kh21JrZq2XFZwvHwcX_tg31DoUYGK6vuAIgoRlP-uvOdVZ2QwAl5V2ZGElgVZZAcDnAhOu8BXaIhvPX366LFcyzdleaVwZI7ZhRNhgo3QBxzdAHwdmWjWwHmaOG8/s5568/DSC_7382.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="5568" data-original-width="3712" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNVoLxXhiSagKrCy1Kh21JrZq2XFZwvHwcX_tg31DoUYGK6vuAIgoRlP-uvOdVZ2QwAl5V2ZGElgVZZAcDnAhOu8BXaIhvPX366LFcyzdleaVwZI7ZhRNhgo3QBxzdAHwdmWjWwHmaOG8/s320/DSC_7382.JPG"/></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTtDMtqF6vWm2aMkoBSfoKE1rM_Bxeyh2cFcgaLRi1dNq7Ct2Jz2dpx5iGpTSNQncjYzZSfz0-41PN_3SlW86ttw5P5ID5BCIJEA5RCAMJ05CotOQF3rE39DHYLhCXfVyJR3En8F1Rheo/s4898/DSC_7377.JPEG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="320" data-original-height="4898" data-original-width="3265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTtDMtqF6vWm2aMkoBSfoKE1rM_Bxeyh2cFcgaLRi1dNq7Ct2Jz2dpx5iGpTSNQncjYzZSfz0-41PN_3SlW86ttw5P5ID5BCIJEA5RCAMJ05CotOQF3rE39DHYLhCXfVyJR3En8F1Rheo/s320/DSC_7377.JPEG"/></a></div>
When he does walk across that stage, he will have worked hard - fought - and earned every step...Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-35856352639614663382020-12-16T13:32:00.001-07:002020-12-18T15:29:48.069-07:002020<p> </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> What can we say about 2020? It just keeps giving. I know so many people affected by challenging events, coupled with COVID, that I just have to keep counting my blessings...</p><p> This last month has been the most trying, testing faith and I leave it to Meek Mill who tells me to remember, that even on my worst day, I live like somebody on their greatest. And so do you.</p><p> Let's start by catching up with Cody. He and Jessica have grown such a beautiful little family. Little Vincenzo is a year and a half and is such a joy. He has a fantastic character, fun loving, adventurous and great energy. Love him so much. And Angelo is now 5 months old and has been through so much. Yet, he smiles all the time and has a special light in his eyes. This boy, at a week old, needed to have three stents placed in his heart to correct a defect that was not allowing him to get enough oxygen. God bless that surgeon, I cannot imagine operating on a baby, so small. He bounced back nicely, but Jess and Cody were advised that he would need open heart surgery around three months.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMekCkJsSFfm8iOrlGpPUgxrHr8KAF6LwJGTaAvb2FIcpQESFLN9BpZS_0MxxqZ9S8e9brfyTgZpStXYeCaPCeO_4tj_TWky1MOUogHuP0Zsd13fslxzktMjdDYiynFpYmm1oP9hXE7rw/s4032/20200912_135245.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="1960" height="376" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMekCkJsSFfm8iOrlGpPUgxrHr8KAF6LwJGTaAvb2FIcpQESFLN9BpZS_0MxxqZ9S8e9brfyTgZpStXYeCaPCeO_4tj_TWky1MOUogHuP0Zsd13fslxzktMjdDYiynFpYmm1oP9hXE7rw/w367-h376/20200912_135245.jpg" width="367" /></a></div> <div> Marveling over the turtles at Agua Caliente Park<br /><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji0Shkmg69Qp4lEHPP_5F7P-nss19X7FH4Rwh9ZbO5XVel4k9S4sUwbYMEGQly3jjAHGTI1n-6PNs8IzwgBo-eJdEWeB3H-nhDZPGIvr0Z5ynvYpQv2ca1cqNcUPkDkATO8d7zOTaLkGw/s4032/20201011_141349.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1960" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji0Shkmg69Qp4lEHPP_5F7P-nss19X7FH4Rwh9ZbO5XVel4k9S4sUwbYMEGQly3jjAHGTI1n-6PNs8IzwgBo-eJdEWeB3H-nhDZPGIvr0Z5ynvYpQv2ca1cqNcUPkDkATO8d7zOTaLkGw/s320/20201011_141349.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><br /></div> Aut and Tonio spend some time with Cody and Enzo<br /><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBh298L-ufTZRfL6s1KENQG78ThCsT-XNAqyr0pbS1-gJgUCYjdSUdpq7HuSlyRkV9CtMLVzsmINPehyphenhyphenUZ1WL3aafcxAU6wk5EuPFJGBtEW82VxF6GpdSchzi9S63IBpHor5lPCuMwizU/s1104/FB_IMG_1603752537021.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1104" data-original-width="828" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBh298L-ufTZRfL6s1KENQG78ThCsT-XNAqyr0pbS1-gJgUCYjdSUdpq7HuSlyRkV9CtMLVzsmINPehyphenhyphenUZ1WL3aafcxAU6wk5EuPFJGBtEW82VxF6GpdSchzi9S63IBpHor5lPCuMwizU/s320/FB_IMG_1603752537021.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Angelo, post open heart surgery</div><br /><p><br /></p><p> I have been so blessed with three healthy children, who never had surgery or any serious illness. Cody broke a collar bone playing football in 8th grade, which was traumatic, but it barely slowed him down. I cannot imagine getting the news that at a week old, one of my babies needed open heart surgery...I would be out of my mind. The grace with which Jess and Cody handled this situation was amazing. The surgeon had the hands of God. Our family made more treks out to San Xavier on candle lighting missions and prayed the rosary more than any time since Kim fell ill. Once again, I know she had Cody and his family wrapped in her arms...</p><p> The surgeon made a 3-D sculpture of Angelo's heart and showed Jess and Cody exactly what his plan was and how it would work. But before the intended date of the surgery could arise, Angelo began to struggle for air and for his life. These guys ended up back and forth between the hospital and then stayed 2 and a half weeks by their baby boy's side. Angelo had outgrown one of the stents and could not get the oxygen he needed. Again, the horror Jess, Cody and Vincenzo faced - I cannot imagine. I felt helpless, as with COVID, we were unable to visit the hospital. They rotate shifts and little 'Enzo was left to wonder what had become of his baby brother and missed his mom when she was with Angelo, and then his dad when he took a turn. He was so happy when Angelo successfully had surgery and was allowed to go home - he smiled and laughed the whole ride home.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5pXvd2eP86YNq10gylmdN-PkElwa5BDr7yXtJCYvjhed4S4ve4KfbDw6dOH0TumgJEZ4fxps6wmFDmYUi0-_3VINyGFEJEwfcOJZiV2TWp9Sy1LhgkHqhS7N0oup1vFOcRMWDI633jCo/s1104/FB_IMG_1604284500024.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1104" data-original-width="828" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5pXvd2eP86YNq10gylmdN-PkElwa5BDr7yXtJCYvjhed4S4ve4KfbDw6dOH0TumgJEZ4fxps6wmFDmYUi0-_3VINyGFEJEwfcOJZiV2TWp9Sy1LhgkHqhS7N0oup1vFOcRMWDI633jCo/s320/FB_IMG_1604284500024.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Angelo's recovery has been miraculous. He has improved each week. His parents are nothing less than amazing, taking turns nursing this little guy back to health, so loving, so caring. And Enzo provides love and support as well, sharing his toys and making his little brother smile...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHeUhZyT7IO98ioQydjG-iONUvUzK4zM5leRts0Egd-cD6x6uaqAUaA9Cph7O23hLi1uGdWRrcdWwF7aBkROGHp-XtvyhzFteSwL4IoN4jumstdOOHDlbSEfI0jTizaL-W3PnfaXCkmw0/s4032/20201107_130903.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1960" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHeUhZyT7IO98ioQydjG-iONUvUzK4zM5leRts0Egd-cD6x6uaqAUaA9Cph7O23hLi1uGdWRrcdWwF7aBkROGHp-XtvyhzFteSwL4IoN4jumstdOOHDlbSEfI0jTizaL-W3PnfaXCkmw0/s320/20201107_130903.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfsoepR8l4somPefhWcv2szK3W4fNFRLbSrvAC7pRA42YejJAqh8D1wJlnqwuWu6Nk406MIx6TvuhtSCCRfSBPBvbmfW8_0uUd5P0pW9dguUma5i_M_eB34DcgD-gw7tmNRubySYz1y58/s4032/20201107_130129.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="1960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfsoepR8l4somPefhWcv2szK3W4fNFRLbSrvAC7pRA42YejJAqh8D1wJlnqwuWu6Nk406MIx6TvuhtSCCRfSBPBvbmfW8_0uUd5P0pW9dguUma5i_M_eB34DcgD-gw7tmNRubySYz1y58/s320/20201107_130129.jpg" /></a></div><div><br /></div>So proud of this family! They are strong and close - two hard working parents and two sweet kids. <div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUlM1xdx8Pj6hlMIJiQKrKePT_dyAgQifyjwxQ-RiCRB6mU3TMXNDdrNqfIq-1Gztw0ka_zLsxv1a-EGpRTWrFhqziBcaRTgXQ-uPzaWz7zgM3kyhgxX28HUctsbAmK6Wdr4kdKeMiGq4/s1440/FB_IMG_1608149644976.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUlM1xdx8Pj6hlMIJiQKrKePT_dyAgQifyjwxQ-RiCRB6mU3TMXNDdrNqfIq-1Gztw0ka_zLsxv1a-EGpRTWrFhqziBcaRTgXQ-uPzaWz7zgM3kyhgxX28HUctsbAmK6Wdr4kdKeMiGq4/s320/FB_IMG_1608149644976.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzqxjmvX8Cz-oswqh2l0NFJzunkRyXBbY57RfF3zTBMv6TU9bZ0981k06z95oRmd5uYRKtuQrliNNDaEWJgxYPgwqKQy-kvQrh7w5fb79Caf01r2vbCCw_tl8SU40_7jbQuLnabkUAobY/s1130/FB_IMG_1608149662931.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1130" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzqxjmvX8Cz-oswqh2l0NFJzunkRyXBbY57RfF3zTBMv6TU9bZ0981k06z95oRmd5uYRKtuQrliNNDaEWJgxYPgwqKQy-kvQrh7w5fb79Caf01r2vbCCw_tl8SU40_7jbQuLnabkUAobY/s320/FB_IMG_1608149662931.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The doctors have told them, that Angelo will need another surgery between 5 and 10 years old. They have already faced so much, but, like with everything, they approach it with a great attitude. Instead of being down and depressed, they embrace and enjoy every moment with their family.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ8pOH-rOY5ltGso8aMN0Yd8H4O6u5tqtqAZXSL83Z_Rc8iMuGGdifVP79BCdnNVO-7uOTk6fVr8cCfu0Vgj6z8s6yEoYeDGF_ksmhuU5izdRh3Gpwzm3uzufyhx_JMnkx79gs88LYd64/s1465/FB_IMG_1608149655044.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1465" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ8pOH-rOY5ltGso8aMN0Yd8H4O6u5tqtqAZXSL83Z_Rc8iMuGGdifVP79BCdnNVO-7uOTk6fVr8cCfu0Vgj6z8s6yEoYeDGF_ksmhuU5izdRh3Gpwzm3uzufyhx_JMnkx79gs88LYd64/s320/FB_IMG_1608149655044.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh8DS841oMctD1ENoPSsIOFtAD_vugSdJDeaxodEaEQAacX2qCFerw14B2wLIM9iZYlsiDDfzPu10mMVcdiOJqiXhW41s1NcPa-fhgWNnAHbiLlHMzbWnUa_3S_RlH2nyjKvE8FrAJv9Q/s1683/FB_IMG_1608149670035.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1683" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh8DS841oMctD1ENoPSsIOFtAD_vugSdJDeaxodEaEQAacX2qCFerw14B2wLIM9iZYlsiDDfzPu10mMVcdiOJqiXhW41s1NcPa-fhgWNnAHbiLlHMzbWnUa_3S_RlH2nyjKvE8FrAJv9Q/s320/FB_IMG_1608149670035.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Blessed.</div><br /><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p><br /></p></div></div>Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-50838239722994212172020-07-18T11:34:00.002-07:002020-07-18T11:34:51.045-07:00Time stopped<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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"Hello, hello, hello...<br />
And I thought about you today<br />
And I thought about the things you used to say<br />
And I thought about the things we did<br />
And I thought about the games we used to play...<br />
I always thought we'd be together<br />
I always knew we'd be together<br />
Oh what do I do now?<br />
I don't want to wait forever"<br />
-J Cole<br />
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Being with Kim, time had a habit of getting stopped. That moment, another time we got stuck. That moment forever and always doomed to keep happening in my head. I try to capture those moments in my tattoos, forever inked - better than a photograph, which fade with time, bend or tear. But there are so many...<br />
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While Autumn captured a Kimmy sentiment, literally using Kim's hand writing to do it...Love yours...I tried to sum up all of those moments where time really did stop. For us. On the beach, it was as if we were on our own island. No worries, hand in hand.<br />
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<img class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" height="224" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/rSJWKvmJRy0SEkltOIs73zPyYlx02rtQQ2IcLLc4HshxM2BpXb09hAJGYbhdSQn5KxXuaM6OwqjDj8PP-fzdaLZSavwrzN9819G5w9nYwzLSMIiK7KVMbviEXM_ji_OuaaHr9ydk_4QybJk-wffpxbTHBOSRrMr033hhSK4cwSE4fv6sD7kVW1BXif-SEZdcobzgcMBwsVSJ_kITj4R6Gfee55bCxUy67U1lgDxt_bZgnWlA5riCkM5UfOeZlDyNvoen_5I8gyBFopm2DGOSqaeMrcwCe1GGM3oBFnVWsF_AgVoTvQvBW0iWA5B4dqD2zBE-MZdWNIwk0E1Li6EJZhb9ddn_4ImdmAPnb_9e7x88RMwfhtsERAN7kNbRwqXrwHBE5D0w71UsGZJ9EPmh9W1o9YhWokfzQcAjXgTT6P8UDlIuJGGtEMVInRrzY-bA5OPS_Ck3f9mDRGveN0GDC6NvtbVkOh9jYGcbbHq4qETIOYH2JyHrH74vGaiGZtyV50qWp2_WuQnZOefUySDF2iLr6h2eDtS2BOWRKLWmax4ezmKkPCaU3UnO2TFwR8uB96qcCDWAAlfgo4oj5DR7QB9dK8U_-A4AZ1mKCJ6uFw0PIotu9SRXHKJtpGZO1obTvlrprUpl--mppfdtU2WTT1L4oUVDPbZzpxqqGEei0o7WC6CdtsUwph1RMBj77g=w445-h249-no?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="400" /><br />
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<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Sep 7, 2012, 10:20:54 PM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="715836.7999999973" height="407" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/eh0XZERZcjd_UVFh6_bwtwfB1GPlWCYHbsJ8gr0KlQXm241GCUL36M1nZk4YKhqWwvjzGPiVIc53ncsxZds8RKebpzPFp9gYnAbbPKmoiPBJfc6o-5Gk6Xhk92yRMD5loeFOWEUqw2XhxBZi-fkJB1d1N9pHJUU0DsrS4pnlhOVUwI77K91TrdEgnnB6mHvfcCTHAA2da4xTMDntUdn-JknEKbVR0-5mi2d8o5y9ol_3Mk-VMzkhtYOQ9Pu4XBw6SmZZ-GsVaKKiS5hmg9vvR7ntx_p3w-FHUKgjtcfDoC-UG_OB0xJSi4xmkxxOGhW22eN7x_7ngaEmg8MxI30xloZw9TtjxEQEqWF2UVviKarmE14sQYSKhEr2RZKxBfqBg2BAHG1lQ5P6Okq97ihTP4q5hxLL65tEWz3xj0BFipKNVOyOp58pM390igA5x7PQ-keBWaP-fYWzptMSmjBPTvoquzYvRUDXcqfiqm_xaTjWH8lpKomUJYsvvsGAMdT4YxJHVOT1csS9K0xLQlLXUJJviOHpbQc4BHzl4tQ-d70bCOfMTheyEnU11_R2vJmdMT9_A7iOwJA6IZBdRrgnwLUQEtlxz93_4tK8XOqMzepC7_bM275c2dfM4dmiKxOb06lYMG_v4zs8xB7nYMNBbSTHclN9LeNYI-tSlEhlOMJMG_GOVBJYwShyX91A=w229-h407-no?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="229" /><br />
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I still love the beach, it's where the memories are strongest. And comforting. Over the years, my favorite beach has been in Mexico. About 20 miles south of Puerto Penasco - Playa Encanto. It is absolutely soothing to sit on the beach there, warm sand beneath my feet, and look out to the Sea of Cortez. I've totally lost track of time doing it, ending up pretty toasty from the sun. Well, to tell the truth, it happens every time...the sound of the waves so hypnotizing, cool breeze, pelicans in lazy flight searching for fish and an occasional dolphin that I imagine is Kim dropping by to say hello.<br />
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Long walks on that beach, along the waters edge - and any problem that's been keeping you awake at night is washed away in the surf. Diving in the warm waters is like being renewed, a baptism in the sea. I've witnessed many sunrises and sunsets there - they are each uniquely miraculous. The colors intertwining together and the flash as the sun dips below the horizon into the water is revitalizing.<br />
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The little town of Puerto Penasco is equally cathartic. The energy there, the bustle of the local shops, sea food merchants and restaurants is a place I can get lost, enjoying the sights, sounds and smells. Sitting on the balcony of a seafood restaurant, overlooking the harbor, watching the fishing boats return from a days work while sipping a cold cerveza - still feeling the heat of the sun emanating from my overcooked skin - is so relaxing. The merchants sell some fantastic fruit, mangoes my favorite with tajin and chamoy, artistically transforming them into a flower before handing them to you on a stick. Even the haggling in the shops for trinkets or clothing is an experience I enjoy.<br />
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<img class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" height="299" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNedpCDLSDialcyVYlfMr5cLv3MTAlq04wzq8KmD92_RbjVRn8Tg18o-tHrVpTh5rdlc5swj76Jqi08OS8EA28Nq3cE5rG6OUR1pD36XSDP5UYN0ronmC61pusy9eyKQOdOuCkBQWYWEI/w295-h222-no/?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="400" /><br />
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<img aria-label="Photo - Landscape - Jul 1, 2014, 1:37:11 PM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="831068.299999999" height="299" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYWAGdE0Y42t80JLa8Zby6NBh95GDgizHduravKwDzS6hUSKjUHTkYJTzNI2pFlv8X0B9xtCIvows-UB45Jl_-mzaEjBqB-a6GpBYB4fRE2uVl3ZYirlyU5Ae2UNBrNAGVwzXHJrwUb0A/w543-h407-no/?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="400" /><br />
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<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/U3Qgv3DVaSA-YYpPi7LG1QRDg0mtQvI-uHs_RJ98nIz4SUouM-H13nH1MXYQuvP1RJOEXCEssS2NxV2s8bwZfVQcNZ5afpzNrjdOQvVxhU-MHphrlJwXfHIdLUmY4vtlv8cEeCqtzhM9uT6pGCgrzuPezkOTOqY2nRk-cBvxgm_Hp4VcICy0tvKtXxz6E5Kg1QWhcc7MAEkZxJ02xVcSCTEG_hOoGvX-hS6Sf7CX4HirzXn_63pBTkayyY234jiZ-73GzDU1dcbjctfETIpOUIR7kVFo2mfIRIPuZruwlp28L5cUcVhL3_V7nP67DtCAUA19s_sWhTKxRrZjXdiHAHk2QOyaBNS35XHXJphWJ04VEWC6HaWkEXBF8SfPzbtUTupTre_AuXC7uCZkM1Gz738zjVgayrW6eZ1dNzMxlgIlPzvUzxyelqb78fmSbLNHjMGIflI9pGfYf9T9wMFi_hrr2cfe5JwkRjWiGPgp4zoYaL8o4wmo5y3hlwK7iwkfIXH2yKHvDI7rYKreKRiz1nnUxY4MiTO0hb4dUZcMy5Fn0HOohoXabXFVgL9VX-bb2mCKz6Z4rpedHchUvy9YA3Ath9YGwdqRw5MzBRBFOyijHxytJZQhvv7GzM8vrU9WPI5DjZ664BLrPEqeEsNIgpTWjGzcAWgU-nh76HpikvMGn1qPIF6-jumDTwNV4w=w306-h407-no?authuser=0" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 30, 2018, 3:41:31 PM" border="0" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="1199988.7850000013" height="400" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/U3Qgv3DVaSA-YYpPi7LG1QRDg0mtQvI-uHs_RJ98nIz4SUouM-H13nH1MXYQuvP1RJOEXCEssS2NxV2s8bwZfVQcNZ5afpzNrjdOQvVxhU-MHphrlJwXfHIdLUmY4vtlv8cEeCqtzhM9uT6pGCgrzuPezkOTOqY2nRk-cBvxgm_Hp4VcICy0tvKtXxz6E5Kg1QWhcc7MAEkZxJ02xVcSCTEG_hOoGvX-hS6Sf7CX4HirzXn_63pBTkayyY234jiZ-73GzDU1dcbjctfETIpOUIR7kVFo2mfIRIPuZruwlp28L5cUcVhL3_V7nP67DtCAUA19s_sWhTKxRrZjXdiHAHk2QOyaBNS35XHXJphWJ04VEWC6HaWkEXBF8SfPzbtUTupTre_AuXC7uCZkM1Gz738zjVgayrW6eZ1dNzMxlgIlPzvUzxyelqb78fmSbLNHjMGIflI9pGfYf9T9wMFi_hrr2cfe5JwkRjWiGPgp4zoYaL8o4wmo5y3hlwK7iwkfIXH2yKHvDI7rYKreKRiz1nnUxY4MiTO0hb4dUZcMy5Fn0HOohoXabXFVgL9VX-bb2mCKz6Z4rpedHchUvy9YA3Ath9YGwdqRw5MzBRBFOyijHxytJZQhvv7GzM8vrU9WPI5DjZ664BLrPEqeEsNIgpTWjGzcAWgU-nh76HpikvMGn1qPIF6-jumDTwNV4w=w306-h407-no?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="300" /></a><img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Mar 24, 2019, 6:22:48 PM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="987035.9450000033" height="400" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijJkmvvAgaVRdt4k68Qt0WUjsPtf3h7X-WOepvNSUjWzEP_3sO0t0ITe8BUXbGRsBN1NQ-76dZxGOsqDlxK0dlEJ0roZoSrFp6t2AC54VMWCloykAWkgF2b32UK5TcGvwNDpkTy5guhVA/w198-h407-no/?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="194" /><br />
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<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 30, 2018, 3:41:15 PM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="1263453.229999999" height="320" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz0PooIFbOg8dUsB-omunJ0I1ifqQkUR58b8p3O-6FA7vn0aFbE4cCwPyBvc7hqYdkjVEw_nndBoDDnaC2cXC8VgmbVNZ5TCMQCxyhYtcJWkx8weP5bE5f7rYwTcKdUL3LykPI1mewdxE/w306-h407-no/?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="240" /><br />
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The statues throughout the town represent the local culture and their lively hood - the Sea of Cortez. My favorite is the El Camaronero - The Shrimp Fisherman, located in the Plaza de Malecon. It's a great plaza, with local fruit stands and merchants throughout. And El Camaronero oversees the the whole scene, looking wistfully out at the sea.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixZBCZgb_UuyoCqbcAgI3ZcxmYS8QcbNztSHKEZdmxGWCPtxJaTqvrQ-oiX98I-c11lxxn2CNBCpqXuRAjbfgqndcnkl4dzYF5DY-NhXlhpt7VYoQU-rxD-Ck1UH-ONY276-yJ6m7cq1k/s1600/El+Camaronero.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="636" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixZBCZgb_UuyoCqbcAgI3ZcxmYS8QcbNztSHKEZdmxGWCPtxJaTqvrQ-oiX98I-c11lxxn2CNBCpqXuRAjbfgqndcnkl4dzYF5DY-NhXlhpt7VYoQU-rxD-Ck1UH-ONY276-yJ6m7cq1k/s320/El+Camaronero.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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All of the memories here, the peace this beach has brought to me...</div>
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<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 26, 2020, 8:17:32 PM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="1670295.1200000024" height="320" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Sz8wDsmKZu0IqWEbjtUk5o7SG1S4fZf1bFvjDQYi1dF9yIx9L7XSi8FHOf19QcKyOe20dhG8oYjyqr5dtPlA572PqXOhSrphPurzAMK41lZkXpT7WUvNH9Jg8V3BsejCeBYlYnMUEdajDvdaiOtaaGeyCfAzRbiXgaU4RNm-rFDZYGh05Xx1foPyczcqaKSCzbYe8VtJTLGlKUvhqJXbAjCmxopWnqFuCv3G4wZ9EMaEveYaO8usCtzIgzIEg_3Z8WBDCgy3azLibnSBTbebffK_Zu98S96Na33oqiNtN-fyfm2N3c4asOxE2qGV-MTotMAvNanB9Gvb-Z29KJy7MUhWLopQzV-RW7Z0qYsICZAJXpziVNTp7AzbgG30TPmUFTlFs6JpIHs1_bajEAZL4uu7UZpmZU4A8IIjvVTJ7z1UUUPhc-IT-oDHdoaCvKYGANWFHgP1seq2dziQb94gt66Dr3qqjPluY2Xbp2jz6-o52FgroANp3ri8aD3m3LcNs3S248HnsDrezmg0GEUh6nUWUa5T7EyrbDvOxCS_8I7dVsxnuNBqNPTmh-uSAY6qvSqdA3k2cktxO_Nx-VP9tpBS1YFkF1GyGkQyI49dO1CesHOGPxCrzB62-V_7ryBtgSA9V6IpROkNv-vn9XVB8jFUu9hXyVwtSirC9uJnPchs1XEiCODYEPx7T6GnqA=w198-h407-no?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="155" /></div>
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are now a part of me.</div>
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A friend sent this 'Kim Conca Sunset' from the other day...</div>
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<img aria-label="Photo - Landscape - Jul 15, 2020, 9:31:32 PM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="1733654.0650000025" height="407" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGH5CWXH9Kok2Pg7CjXoqwwGQvqdh7Iot8csySdpS2ACKrc47KK4GA4T-kM5_W3A_-T90ZMRk0-r0a1KI94eZo0I-pJ3Vbpce1tDkN7VkoZTP4FnkHMelvpfHtcFkbmtD4zwMgY-98gsA/w543-h407-no/?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="543" /></div>
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She's always there</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-46734333904082358432020-07-16T14:00:00.004-07:002020-07-18T11:36:34.666-07:0017<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jul 11, 2020, 7:52:55 PM" class="p137Zd" href="https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipM78S4q_hTbdJiTHKpEsdiQskm33KYwORkTR8-i" jsaction="click:eQuaEb;focus:AHmuwe; blur:O22p3e;" tabindex="0"></a><img aria-label="Photo - Landscape - Jul 11, 2020, 11:16:20 AM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="333135.84999972954" height="155" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/7sUrErW71v5y9AV6zulNsjqW0sGF_BQZswJskZ_RjHbp26HX7NDVQTsQpuBH2SSP7KjC_8MvVOr-qKhDVLsiLbEWl9o0WC7ii1hYGF9-dGGqqzo4G6LsHb7D7E63U5DKtKhJSupYr0w5J9jtpTShBRbYs23zYbP5evHMWVEDx-VtpHJj-JS7XIzDYgrnhCQ0uJ9JdYuVEuIUWM7ISXDtX4l8qA3r2hxZk4jk5CYqsj3BWLNcj4kpYAvhsAbYU_zVMvWkdbrKn3D5We6kXdcq_JKQgLkjkRYF55nyP_N8kNNkbwD6RTYBbml5R4JOi3rEkLdWt-3hMwnFHV7yCpg7wDh0L1NmGMAK-OWb5u0zm40vVjXB1RNl8_lNEEUWdcqfEdFbiJ8dG3S5VhCjbndTwHHqN2u_AbdJc6tZpsqZ_TpCl_38MYqr0TlINyk6q8VMDn7prpyEfvQUh5-Ch4YuddLq3NhASbGw-YvvLwmY3GB_TNpqCommAzOoqWL-V8SGJgNGUecxHieiTHw0cf68F23dQcjbdUQahbSeRVKTw58crhKlazd8EGR-kCZWjAin_vmsKQNV9eMPHSdMq-zfbYuLTyAFvYyyF0howza7r4ygCANd3ocFVNGrUtCzsqzR0FBwQ5Lvd5c_5hl1DScYcWO4k6laOQy4H0E-X_N7ldjaW1Ih5txEa2ofHBbGAA=w958-h466-no?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="320" /></div>
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Ahhhhhh birthdays....Kim would make you feel so special on what she loved to call 'your special day'!! We had a running joke between us, that started on each other's birthday, but somehow spread to when ever one of us would ask the other 'what would you like to do today?'...the other would answer 'I don't know, it's YOUR special day!!'. Always cracked us up.<br />
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I do really try to make each kid's birthday something for them to remember. I always will ask if there is anything they have been wanting or needing. Tonio, having that big heart from his mom, always has some incredible answers. One time, he told me that he would really like the sandwich he ordered to be served looking, or even close to looking, as good it does on the menu, or the posters they have around the menu board on the wall!!! That's a tough one - the burgers <i>always </i>look thicker and juicer in the photos they use to advertise them! Needless to say, I couldn't deliver on that.<br />
I have to say, I am fortunate that my kids never got hung up on name brands or high end items. Their requests have always been practical, idealistic and they seem to keep in mind my budgetary constraints.<br />
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This year, when I asked Tonio what he really wanted for his birthday, once again, his answer was selfless and deep. He paused a moment, holding his pose, eyes looking up and away...<br />
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"Really dad, all I want is to go out to dinner with the people that I care about"<br />
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Typically has never been a problem...COVID rears its ugly head once again.<br />
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We have long had the tradition of allowing the birthday child to choose where they would like everyone to meet to celebrate. Again, Tonio always thinking of others - first, Autumn. He reasoned it would be easiest on her if he chose a place near our home, as he knew Aut would be working until 6:30, 7ish on his bday (she can rarely get off early). He also mentioned that the people he would like to come all live in our area, so it would be easiest for them to make it...THEN, being Tonio, he says;<br />
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"but dad, it's cool if nobody can make it this year, it really is."<br />
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As parents, we just want the best for our children. As parents, we sometimes feel their pain more than they do. Even when they are this logical and are thinking of others, we just want more for them. I guess it's a part of the process.<br />
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He chose Lonchos. Almost walking distance. A great new Mexican place that opened recently, despite COVID and has amazing food. Best part, we know the family that works there from one of our favorite after church (before church was canceled) breakfast spots, the Breakfast Stop. The mom, Ana, cooks from scratch - best birria and corn tortillas I've ever had. Autumn swears by Ana's pozole. Her daughters, Kim and Amy wait tables and tend bar. They take such good care of us. When we arrived on Tonio's birthday, Ana told Aut she had made her ceviche, even though it is not on the menu, as she knows it's Aut's favorite. She made Tonio a special plate of nachos while he waited for his birria tacos to arrive. Kim decorated a table with balloons, etc and they had a gift for Tonio. It was Kim's birthday too, so she joined us for a time. They kept us entertained and before we knew it, it was 12:30 a.m. Tonio had a big smile and a full belly.<br />
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Autumn's newest creation...the chocolate gelato cake!! New favorite!!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZGbvf3obgN9_d5Nv_qOnrOCcgCBB5QM3HXmOUFsrQPreewHukLbN60a5CBrBp5ffrvMC6pWwTjosAhDO6OEDdqm6FvBeqtLUX7AMCBpTQYqJkIwBP3HrVLqJszUEeroxqHI0UfJI4iMk/w87-h177-no/?authuser=0" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jul 11, 2020, 8:55:52 PM" border="0" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" height="320" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZGbvf3obgN9_d5Nv_qOnrOCcgCBB5QM3HXmOUFsrQPreewHukLbN60a5CBrBp5ffrvMC6pWwTjosAhDO6OEDdqm6FvBeqtLUX7AMCBpTQYqJkIwBP3HrVLqJszUEeroxqHI0UfJI4iMk/w87-h177-no/?authuser=0" style="text-align: left; transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="155" /></a></div>
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That morning, Tonio wanted to go to breakfast to our favorite diner, Bread & Butter. They have the most amazing chile cheese omelets and hash browns!! Of course, everyone there knows Tonio and the manager, Jessica, present him with a homemade cinnamon roll, complete with a candle!</div>
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<img aria-label="Photo - Landscape - Jun 30, 2020, 8:09:00 PM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="55792.140000034124" height="194" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/fZp1zvhtcJxhEDKuq4vPF0KQdheDdAvHgtTKNYhNGl2bMg-tUfbUF8hP61y1McLnulF9HlKI0-sBtTmxG5Iidognhx44QXgxxP0w7Hl5Pm1GdZD5Rb9mCHQb7A9A39elKrH4VPeB4IpFQSDgjVK5XqiLg_aLjmicdMgatpw7EF2w2WinjQloOD7XSVB0JdDnFYmDfsf29jB9I48A3EN8-oWOgRfOIMWsJGfLoffKstXF-ov0-yL39sTz9rp3Y63gmnH55qUwf_u3J_SZ3iFvKqfQIlcUlfD3Yq84Dwd_klW4lY52JsTxBD5YysgfkQBhlfMo4KSwbTH5XX3pvcAmXDXza8b1krp5WsLMeYxBYBzEGQtJbGVe50UHbyhWGj_km-BUOVmUZG2KZOU8BG_50TIRN_J7Tiutu45JgbjK7nneX4LxRjo2OsdjNRDNC4cCT6SpuYi-s7Jp0Ze_TLvoCLoJomoNJiJkFTXTajd1fE9DV8UMVAzoOgFTKn76UaEDbvxJqyXyLPO5vI2gLUCZmQBEN757Qt9pDBayii9E6hWUFko4qVEaO-XhQoxVIMdu1b4UcYUnnYJv1VzYlx3NWtGlCP6QN8a8pXLMrlISP2sEDw2KEQ5dtkv2X84pZnDos0NlggCcGhSfGQXENBjbJewQTUukmIS6yZ8aJ1Iq5vN7zLJMUelNbWjm1lxRbw=w958-h466-no?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="400" /></div>
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(a different night at Lonchos)</div>
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Also took a nice bike ride through the desert...103 degrees, didn't slow Tonio down!!</div>
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He's probably been the most affected by quarantine. Aut and I go to work, so we try to get him out for bike rides, walks with our pups, Angel and Belle and get him out for meals. Plus frequent trips to the San Xavier Mission to light candles for his mom and all of our loved ones during these challenging times. </div>
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Tonio takes it all in stride. He's been doing some painting - I know Kim can look down and see, but I truly wish she was in the room to witness the phases, the sketches, the planning, the detail...He bought himself some canvasses recently and has a lot of paints received as gifts over the years and is doing some neat stuff. He takes good care of the pups, his ghost corn snake Cruiser and bearded dragon Jake. Helps out cleaning up the house and is just always a pleasure to be around.</div>
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Some of his ceramic work from this past year</div>
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<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jul 16, 2020, 4:20:46 PM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="1894279.650000004" height="320" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyZtsXU93cb6x5spatMlCuJsNoJJM1jjw_wwgpAsC_nWw9payiGOXaMU1994MeEixjof8Eb2Ycys2wdWcnzOoI3_5TmcBWWVtLFE2dq5MQNiB3FenqSySL6f8Q8-xEL9aKBiENNc5L-rQ/w198-h407-no/?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="155" /></div>
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Thankful for birthday 17!!!</div>
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<img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - May 25, 2020, 12:07:28 PM" class="SzDcob" data-atf="true" data-iml="141686.10500032082" height="400" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOPR-Kp51mNS7HpwdkKe4eVNPCkwQ3k2Lzno-z25awxs_89HcX92GE_p4G-qL9eTXOiMtc8ebn6GbV90An6nyKurI6rJF0teoN-zK2mzOIlxugYeaC_SPHwJ5vD_8RwNhf7hUSbgTmuIU/w451-h927-no/?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="194" /></div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-50093341889762932442020-07-15T18:07:00.000-07:002020-07-16T16:39:33.971-07:00Loving ink<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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For our 40th birthdays, Kim and I had talked about and planned to get matching tattoos. We wanted some symbol or writing that meant 'infinity' as a testament to our love for each other. Although we searched for the perfect design, we never did quite come up with one that felt like us. Also, as parents of 3, we had determined that there were better ways for us to spend those $$...<br />
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Since Kim passed, I have added quite a few tribute tattoos to remember our times together. Some focus on the kids and the here and now, but most represent 'us'.<br />
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Cody and I have had a chance to get ink together, and did a bit of a matching piece. He designed the rising sun with a white dove flying to honor and remember his mom. I found it so touching, beautiful and perfect, that I had the same done. It was a neat experience going to Tattoo Artistry together, to have our old friend, Dave Williams, use all of his talents to bring these designs to life.<br />
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So when Autumn wanted one, naturally I was excited to see what she chose and to have a tattoo created with her.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDkjhfuSYb-0QzQmACVfdWUqd5U948amnlNmYyIFhiZqtameZKCt9cJqv-gshPveTJnAm75Vn_LalJYHNYKm1jH8mx8Av8JjAgbRX-NTfmu7GYt47vcYQQ35CoyK_Nhb1I89lTJM7KrY/w107-h220-no/?authuser=0" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" height="320" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDkjhfuSYb-0QzQmACVfdWUqd5U948amnlNmYyIFhiZqtameZKCt9cJqv-gshPveTJnAm75Vn_LalJYHNYKm1jH8mx8Av8JjAgbRX-NTfmu7GYt47vcYQQ35CoyK_Nhb1I89lTJM7KrY/w107-h220-no/?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="155" /></a></div>
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I asked what is your idea for a design?</div>
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"Love yours" she explained, a Kim-like sparkle in her eyes, smile spreading like a sunrise. To those who don't know, Aut will patiently tell you "Love Yourz" is a song by J Cole - one of our favorites. She is often met by 'Who?', yet she is undetterred in continuing - 'it's a song about how there is no life better than yours - so love yours!'. Again, so Kim-like. (I always tell her when people say who is J Cole, let them know he is their favorite rapper's favorite rapper). And in Kim's handwriting. Dave replicated perfectly!</div>
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<div class="kp-header" data-ved="2ahUKEwiF-Z3soNDqAhUkNX0KHTSMB50Q3z4oAHoECA0QAQ" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">
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Love Yourz</h2>
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<span data-ved="2ahUKEwiF-Z3soNDqAhUkNX0KHTSMB50Q2kooATAAegQIDRAE"><a data-ved="2ahUKEwiF-Z3soNDqAhUkNX0KHTSMB50QMTAAegQIDRAF" href="https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS751US751&sxsrf=ALeKk01dQ__QgqBmDKLaHQFi4q0I76Gi7w:1594850433013&q=J.+Cole&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgVuLSz9U3MDOtyjDKWcTK7qWn4JyfkwoAtMNblBgAAAA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiF-Z3soNDqAhUkNX0KHTSMB50QMTAAegQIDRAF" style="color: #660099; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">J. Cole</a></span></div>
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<div class="siXlze yp1CPe mod NFQFxe" data-attrid="kc:/music/recording_cluster:lyrics" data-md="113" style="border-radius: 8px; clear: none; padding-bottom: 16px; padding-top: 0px;">
<div data-hveid="CAcQAA" data-ved="2ahUKEwiF-Z3soNDqAhUkNX0KHTSMB50QsEwwAXoECAcQAA">
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<div class="bbVIQb" jsname="Vinbg">
<div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">Love yours</span></div>
<div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">No such thing as a life that's better than yours</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge">(Love yourz)</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge">No such thing as a life that's better than yours</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge">No such thing, no such thing</span></div>
<div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUvhJUR7PtHEqzQ3X-duakhUbihHjjg3IdS_yDb8W9_7PFMJqnHSdOzmbd0sBgcX9M3eBAfdaT1UKoMyO1ov3CPkAzxmVNCKtLotL2WFOhu3nPSsDWwGUozJjKrdeQMkQI1I82WP2Lul8/w401-h824-no/?authuser=0" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 11, 2020, 8:52:11 PM" border="0" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="155883.28000018373" height="320" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUvhJUR7PtHEqzQ3X-duakhUbihHjjg3IdS_yDb8W9_7PFMJqnHSdOzmbd0sBgcX9M3eBAfdaT1UKoMyO1ov3CPkAzxmVNCKtLotL2WFOhu3nPSsDWwGUozJjKrdeQMkQI1I82WP2Lul8/w401-h824-no/?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="155" /></a><span jsname="YS01Ge"><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Goes for all y'all</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">It's beauty in the struggle </span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">It's beauty in the struggle , ugliness in the success</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Hear my words or listen to my signal of distress</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">I grew up in the city and though some times we had less</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Compared to some of my niggas down the block man we were blessed</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And life can't be no fairytale, no once upon a time</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">But I be God damned if you don't be tryin'</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">So tell me mama please why you be drinking all the time?</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Does all the pain he brought you still linger in your mind?</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Cause pain still lingers on mine</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">On the road to riches listen this is what you'll find</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">The good news is you came a long way</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">The bad news is you went the wrong way</span></span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/lhweaaEI35iw2AtFa5Z-pr4lAsRFeYzWCsQtpOamTcX-zKgl50amDsqY-CUOSS3EHCtS_r_feVYYJBw2qeRCoCNLMyVb7e2UWW1KXAfr0YvQ1b199MDcinLzY5YD7uKef21exClzMU0nPd6wwXhHUMeL-dtYVfa5lqNx-fLAsJY9kRTxu5TcT4vxeA9bqb9AzkV3D8l90BwIdB3zdyVUdy-i9ZRrw32gkfqvgKe9Xh-awRYRgUC73Rrao6Cv1xATiU0FAHQiIWEGQ6EukXjpAIaKu3KazIuzbPamsUMKN7mWHABZNo09bzW0SviWXULkXVp379leIth0QxyTi9ZLBALc6FbBY4Q7TkNy_eJ6zJAvM4-vkHx8A0Kn24o6nZVMcForlCVbq6ntoCg9A377yh2BLT_R3ticvVkWpf6KeauxKu061gTFs75nA8AkOY5jd5M5Xr1pNp2Luz28xlWp3gPe2uusPoxNps8eSdagVqg_8JV-rzhiMX2x2FFTpOm8gcmo51roEonbF8s7Gsd6iwRgQO5i7mtO696JRJWSf9VotPA6Z5uX4eeumpuG-08lh2Oe4RiQzEZ5AzNWv-gzJvb4TCeyC1gEJDzAL3XlguIjQ_y16zA-2EU_bto58L3eiwJ6vBq5L4LFN1oyfrB54es42vKWuiVGM0JRILxYYXoKmO03_btKCb6YdWvqHw=w401-h824-no?authuser=0" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 26, 2020, 8:48:32 PM" border="0" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" data-iml="97056.43499968573" height="320" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/lhweaaEI35iw2AtFa5Z-pr4lAsRFeYzWCsQtpOamTcX-zKgl50amDsqY-CUOSS3EHCtS_r_feVYYJBw2qeRCoCNLMyVb7e2UWW1KXAfr0YvQ1b199MDcinLzY5YD7uKef21exClzMU0nPd6wwXhHUMeL-dtYVfa5lqNx-fLAsJY9kRTxu5TcT4vxeA9bqb9AzkV3D8l90BwIdB3zdyVUdy-i9ZRrw32gkfqvgKe9Xh-awRYRgUC73Rrao6Cv1xATiU0FAHQiIWEGQ6EukXjpAIaKu3KazIuzbPamsUMKN7mWHABZNo09bzW0SviWXULkXVp379leIth0QxyTi9ZLBALc6FbBY4Q7TkNy_eJ6zJAvM4-vkHx8A0Kn24o6nZVMcForlCVbq6ntoCg9A377yh2BLT_R3ticvVkWpf6KeauxKu061gTFs75nA8AkOY5jd5M5Xr1pNp2Luz28xlWp3gPe2uusPoxNps8eSdagVqg_8JV-rzhiMX2x2FFTpOm8gcmo51roEonbF8s7Gsd6iwRgQO5i7mtO696JRJWSf9VotPA6Z5uX4eeumpuG-08lh2Oe4RiQzEZ5AzNWv-gzJvb4TCeyC1gEJDzAL3XlguIjQ_y16zA-2EU_bto58L3eiwJ6vBq5L4LFN1oyfrB54es42vKWuiVGM0JRILxYYXoKmO03_btKCb6YdWvqHw=w401-h824-no?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="155" /></a></span></div>
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<a aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 26, 2020, 8:58:44 PM" class="p137Zd" href="https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipNZf6Wqf9goHafrDJtvxQSaacaF6sl0AevsBQQ8" jsaction="click:eQuaEb;focus:AHmuwe; blur:O22p3e;" tabindex="0"></a></span>
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<div class="RY3tic" data-latest-bg="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6xygyj_chtTcwU6eZEV7uuaAR-Or4IkroyUou5cXGtCzoYLLee3Rkqe8aQRN3kF2tPmuir8HqJZ1R2HQGX6cRlSziRR5UL6De2pWIYQvdcL9yvmLkx8Q5RazItY5u63PqMN6xSv8UWso/w93-h191-no/?authuser=0" style="background-image: url("https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6xygyj_chtTcwU6eZEV7uuaAR-Or4IkroyUou5cXGtCzoYLLee3Rkqe8aQRN3kF2tPmuir8HqJZ1R2HQGX6cRlSziRR5UL6De2pWIYQvdcL9yvmLkx8Q5RazItY5u63PqMN6xSv8UWso/w93-h191-no/?authuser=0"), url("https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6xygyj_chtTcwU6eZEV7uuaAR-Or4IkroyUou5cXGtCzoYLLee3Rkqe8aQRN3kF2tPmuir8HqJZ1R2HQGX6cRlSziRR5UL6De2pWIYQvdcL9yvmLkx8Q5RazItY5u63PqMN6xSv8UWso/w35-h72-k-rw-no/?authuser=0"); opacity: 1;">
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<span jsname="YS01Ge"><a aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 26, 2020, 8:58:44 PM" class="p137Zd" href="https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipNZf6Wqf9goHafrDJtvxQSaacaF6sl0AevsBQQ8" jsaction="click:eQuaEb;focus:AHmuwe; blur:O22p3e;" tabindex="0">
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<div class="ujudUb u7wWjf" data-mh="-1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge"><br /></span></span></div>
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<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="44" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 44px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">No such thing as a life that's better than yours</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">No such thing, no such thing</span></span></div>
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<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="572" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 572px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">For what's money without hapiness?</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Or hard times without the people you love</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Though I'm not sure what's 'bout to happen next</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">I asked for strength from the Lord up above</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Cause I've been strong so far</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">But I can feel my grip loosening</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Quick, do something before you lose it for good</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Get it back and use it for good</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">And touch the people how you did like before</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">I'm tired of living with demons cause they always inviting more</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Think being broke was better</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Now I don't mean that phrase with no disrespect</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">To all you out there living in debt</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Cashing minimal checks</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Turn on the TV see a Rolex</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">And fantasize about a life with no stress</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">I mean this shit sincerely</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">And that's someone who was once in your shoes </span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Living with nothin' to lose</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">I hope one day you hear me</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Always gon' be a bigger house somewhere, but feel me</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">'Long as the people in that motherfucker love you dearly</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Always gon' be a whip that's better than the the one you got</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Always gon' be some clothes that's fresher than the one's you rock</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Always gon' be a bitch that's badder out there on the tours</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">But you ain't never gon' be happy till you love yours</span></span></div>
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<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">No such thing as a life that's better than yours</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">(Love yourz)</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">No such thing as a life that's better than yours</span></span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">No such thing, no such thing</span></span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/7NHNwezezG06vOPyUkulsOyyelrin0I3NqjVCfyFUiJ1InmJV-Bx74WqxiBZBus773-Wy7XKyjq8dKGApRnfbsUDfHOvx3ez4829C4jjkx-JzOgXQfnh4_QAD7qrd5Y230LT0IkIL2HJ7eLjHkqROqosXQCW-Jxv4WZFCunO6qZ7U97YLm8qQawmV6P8acnPJI9eFW1F6o63YODAO6FcbvIJk1u6nn7pJqXGiOFnpdi42UcUnotRS61eHmdpQ6Wo7y8rzRS4-YTFOoAuMX4brueO4Nd_XzKS7CKxPP2-vLc2e8DjsOJPsh6Lwtub9VKvfwRkRVbxjtDXP6RDCRJSog7bF9quEmzMGVuqwZmvoE_WBe2mTU131Bq_Hh0gjQFFQIeM0yStbdP2nNUbrDXNA2GQ3fmVlOoywS8Q19QiAE03x9XgngLbO9yMDqLAd7yO1It1n_y4jt_pnJ6vafPhRMuyX8qAEZgTLIbFa-GRwrPG6l1B_n_Sfx1edq-Gr1Ng549G0USFClfo71sHc5LXTYddZ0RXlXBAgjUD7PS_eVfsk_FPHu5SQjSKAViisyJwZd8_74N1Am7uDVo1jVkYZwMTMmGqa0_Owj_rxkCjle0zXSK9Y4m_sDf468iKZcbDwxg07TU6EJKoMyb_7OiV6LL4Tmf9zNuYTlVBO-6SaO_uvVXNHtrh7RQ8a7v38Q=w401-h824-no?authuser=0" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 26, 2020, 8:58:44 PM" border="0" class="SzDcob" data-atf="false" height="320" jsname="uLHQEd" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/7NHNwezezG06vOPyUkulsOyyelrin0I3NqjVCfyFUiJ1InmJV-Bx74WqxiBZBus773-Wy7XKyjq8dKGApRnfbsUDfHOvx3ez4829C4jjkx-JzOgXQfnh4_QAD7qrd5Y230LT0IkIL2HJ7eLjHkqROqosXQCW-Jxv4WZFCunO6qZ7U97YLm8qQawmV6P8acnPJI9eFW1F6o63YODAO6FcbvIJk1u6nn7pJqXGiOFnpdi42UcUnotRS61eHmdpQ6Wo7y8rzRS4-YTFOoAuMX4brueO4Nd_XzKS7CKxPP2-vLc2e8DjsOJPsh6Lwtub9VKvfwRkRVbxjtDXP6RDCRJSog7bF9quEmzMGVuqwZmvoE_WBe2mTU131Bq_Hh0gjQFFQIeM0yStbdP2nNUbrDXNA2GQ3fmVlOoywS8Q19QiAE03x9XgngLbO9yMDqLAd7yO1It1n_y4jt_pnJ6vafPhRMuyX8qAEZgTLIbFa-GRwrPG6l1B_n_Sfx1edq-Gr1Ng549G0USFClfo71sHc5LXTYddZ0RXlXBAgjUD7PS_eVfsk_FPHu5SQjSKAViisyJwZd8_74N1Am7uDVo1jVkYZwMTMmGqa0_Owj_rxkCjle0zXSK9Y4m_sDf468iKZcbDwxg07TU6EJKoMyb_7OiV6LL4Tmf9zNuYTlVBO-6SaO_uvVXNHtrh7RQ8a7v38Q=w401-h824-no?authuser=0" style="transform: translate3d(0px, 0px, 0px) rotate(0deg);" width="155" /></a></span></div>
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<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">It's a great song. Kim would have enjoyed the Motown vibe J Cole brings. It's all smooth. His lyrics grab me, especially this piece of the song:</span></span></div>
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<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge"><br /></span></span></div>
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<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Or hard times without the people you love</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Though I'm not sure what's 'bout to happen next</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">I asked for strength from the Lord up above</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Cause I've been strong so far</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">But I can feel my grip loosening</span></span></div>
<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><span jsname="YS01Ge">Quick, do something before you lose it for good</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">Get it back and use it for good</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">And touch the people how you did like before</span><br /><span jsname="YS01Ge">I'm tired of living with demons cause they always inviting more</span></span></div>
<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"> I don't know how many times I've told you, these kids, I am so blessed. I have truly enjoyed the times we have spent together. Especially right now, with COVID - Autumn, Tonio and I have had a sit down dinner nearly every night, followed by movies, a bike ride out into the desert with the dogs. </span></div>
<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
I've felt a little isolated, beginning with my knee surgery in March, my friends are busy taking care of families, trying to work through this and social distancing. I sure miss the family events, birthdays, dinners, etc and pray daily for their health and safety. I get it. This is crazy.<br />
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<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
It's the first time since I moved here in '94 that I thought maybe I should have gone back east, nearer parents and sisters...I am grateful for one friend who texts nearly daily to talk - she has been the picture of 'quarantine' only having left her house once from mid March through June. In July,<br />
venturing to the Desert Museum after I told her the kids I went and to one restaurant (she said even<br />
<br />
that was too much!).</div>
<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">The bartenders at Lonchos and Serial Grillers have provided much needed conversation ; )</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge">As always, the kids are always in tune and have kept me going through all of this!!</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge"><br /></span>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">All three kids have turned out amazing, so much like their mother. I will update you on Cody soon!</span></div>
<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"> Next year, when Tonio turns 18, it will be our turn to go visit Dave...can't wait to see what design Tonio comes up with!!</span></div>
<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"> Until that day...Love yours</span></div>
<div class="ujudUb xpdxpnd" data-mh="88" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.58; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 88px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease 0s;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge"> </span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><a aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 26, 2020, 8:48:32 PM" class="p137Zd" href="https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipM1lN0-rGkcgVAasgMoGn5m495Yh15tWLF-jlJm" jsaction="click:eQuaEb;focus:AHmuwe; blur:O22p3e;" tabindex="0"></a></span><br />
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><a aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 26, 2020, 8:48:32 PM" class="p137Zd" href="https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipM1lN0-rGkcgVAasgMoGn5m495Yh15tWLF-jlJm" jsaction="click:eQuaEb;focus:AHmuwe; blur:O22p3e;" tabindex="0">
</a></span></div>
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<a aria-label="Photo - Portrait - Jun 26, 2020, 8:48:32 PM" class="p137Zd" href="https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipM1lN0-rGkcgVAasgMoGn5m495Yh15tWLF-jlJm" jsaction="click:eQuaEb;focus:AHmuwe; blur:O22p3e;" tabindex="0">
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-83427736973086154492020-06-20T14:30:00.000-07:002020-07-06T22:13:47.205-07:00Music from yesterdays<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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"Now I ain't too proud to tell you that I cry sometimes, cry sometimes about it..." J. Cole<br />
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A friend once told me, that the pain we feel over loss, separation, tragedy, life events gone wrong - lasts 12 minutes. After that, she said, it is self pity. I believed that, to an extent. But as time passes, and it surely does - like a whisper - something barely heard and rarely seen, I understand that in this case, she was mistaken.<br />
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I am truly blessed. I know that the relationship that I experienced with Kim was so unique - and as rare as the perfect sunrise (how often do you see the sunrise, let alone one that captures you in such a way that you find your breath has stopped as you try to soak it all in?). I am grateful and have fond memories. There is no self pity in missing Kim - I know that every moment we shared was special and I never took it for granted. I often find myself feeling bad for the friend who is going through a divorce, or in a seemingly meaningless relationship. The spouse who finds that extra errand or excuse for another moment away from home. The significant other who uses social media to vent or chronical a one sided situation. I am so thankful for the years of the love we shared.<br />
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We surely had our growing pains - imagine a young Kim, putting all of her energy, into not only keeping me out of harm's way, but <i>at the same time, </i>trying to teach me, to show me the <i>right way.</i> I remember watching the Mexican with Kim. Julia Roberts,exasperated with keeping Brad Pitt out of trouble...James Gandolfini taking her aside, when all seemed lost, and asking, if you are in love, 'when is enough, enough?'...the dawning realization in her eyes as she answered 'Never.'....<br />
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She cleaned me up...scooped me out of the gutter...gave me a chance at something better...<br />
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In the end, there was so much blood...I couldn't wrap my mind around it...how could there be so much blood...???<br />
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I've always been very in tune with music - when a song comes on, I tell the kids 'Oh, I remember this one - 1982, I was bagging groceries at Weis Supermarket in Allentown.' It's always been that way for me, as long as I can remember. For Kim and I, the music started in 7th grade - the '70's. She was that one girl who did not care for pop stars - she liked Motown and rock. We saw a great many concerts together, I know that I detailed them somewhere in the depths of these writings. I've turned mainly to hip hop, as 'our' songs were so many. Our memories so deep, and when I am caught unawares, it is as if a tidal wave sweeps me quickly and violently into our past and into a memory with such clarity, when it passes, I am unsure of where exactly I am, what I was doing or what day/time it is. I try to stay woke.<br />
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Pandora has a 'funny' sense of humor sometimes. Randomly, something outside of your preferences will pop up. I tend towards J. Cole - he has a Motown feel to a lot of his songs and I like to think he would be Kim's favorite rapper. I also love T.I. and Joyner Lucas, so I have the three set as my favorites. Pandora will mix in 'like' artists such as Young Jeezy, Dr. Dre, The Game, etc. The other day, unbidden, Guns 'N Roses' November Rain came on as I was driving 75 on I-10. It felt as if I was sliding on black ice in the 100 degree heat, the landscape blurring, slowing and suddenly reversing direction, all as a flood of memories hit me of Kim and I seeing GNR at Phoenix International Raceway summer of '90 and again at the Spectrum in Philly Dec '91...holding her tight as Axl screeched:<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">When I look into your eyes</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> I can see a love restrained</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> But darlin' when I hold you</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> Don't you know I feel the same</span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> </span></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbUC-UaAxE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbUC-UaAxE</a><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> I also remember watching the video together - take a short trip to You Tube if you have a moment - the happy wedding...and the video ending with her funeral...Axl haunted by dreams, waking up in the middle of the night bathed in sweat, screaming...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Nothin' lasts forever</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> And we both know hearts can change</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> And it's hard to hold a candle</span><br />
<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> In the cold November rain</span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> Our hearts didn't change...His plan simply did...When I reemerged from the memories this song whisked me to, I could see the miles I had gone behind me in the rearview, through tear stained eyes...no, not self pity - just thankful for the wonderful memories and time shared - Nothing lasts forever...</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">PS Did I think I was the best future for my children? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> Something I've thought about for a long time.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> This is what I decided.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> No one in this world is perfect. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> Heaven knows I'm not.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> But I love them more than anyone else possibly could.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> In the end, that's all that matters.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> My children are now my chance at something else.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> Something better.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"> And there's no way I'm letting go of that...</span></span><br />
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-30132283228710709922017-01-01T18:23:00.001-07:002017-01-01T18:23:25.037-07:00Woops! There Goes Gravity!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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All good things must end...for Bella, she was so good. And we were blessed to have her in our lives for just over 6 years.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMmqo0DnwiBz57wktFasLZdwe1G2f67xlU8VBTp4asYMeOMUdo-66wvTXGZ6Df_RvxuAeu6XCnOJgsFDhqTtkIIOuL_d8Q232auRxox-wmNbEj6cpTmLUOg0uqc17mXIV9JvU2aTaH8oM/s1600/bella001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMmqo0DnwiBz57wktFasLZdwe1G2f67xlU8VBTp4asYMeOMUdo-66wvTXGZ6Df_RvxuAeu6XCnOJgsFDhqTtkIIOuL_d8Q232auRxox-wmNbEj6cpTmLUOg0uqc17mXIV9JvU2aTaH8oM/s320/bella001.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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I believe I've told the Bella story before - how, just a couple weeks after our girl Zona passed from spleen cancer, Kim began researching puppy rescue organizations in Tucson. She searched online daily...waiting, watching. We visited several, finally ending up with B.A.R.K. And Kim spotted Bella, carefully picked her up, whispering to her, Bella snuggling into Kimmy's hair...I could see the connection and knew...<br />
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Just 6 months later, ala 'The Art of Racing in the Rain' by Garth Stein, Kim was diagnosed with cancer...by then, Bella was entrenched in our hearts - an integral part of our family. She was a fixture by Kim's side as she battled...<br />
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...and when Kim became an angel, Bella herded the kids. Literally. She would go room to room providing comfort and finally we would all be in the same place. Her job done, she would lay down with us and just watch - to see who needed comforting...the intelligence, the knowing, shining brightly in her eyes.<br />
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She loved her kids and they loved her...<br />
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She would take turns sleeping with each of them...</div>
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She loved hiking (Tanque Verde Falls) and we were able to take her up Mt. Lemmon, Madera Canyon and to the beach (Laguna and Ocean Beach). She was so spirited and enthusiastic!!</div>
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Bella was so sweet - she always let me hold her, wrapping her forearms around my neck, hugging me...<br />
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She loved to play sports with the kids. She used her paws so well, she could catch a football with her mouth, securing the catch with her paws. She could trap a soccer ball and really loved when the kids played hockey with her, slap shotting a tennis ball through the house with her in mad pursuit.</div>
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About a year before she died, Cody and his fiance' Jessica moved in with us, bringing Bella a new best friend...Simba.</div>
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They were pretty unseparatable, playing tug of war with each other, chasing lizards and tennis balls in the back yard, going on walks, curling up on the couch together...</div>
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But, then, we noticed a change in our Bella. Sleeping more. Needing a hand up into bed. Cody took her to the vet for me numerous times. Many tests were run. Everything came back normal. </div>
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I could feel it building. My tsunami dreams had steadily begun to occur again...I just didn't know why. Or from what direction it would come. <br />
It's that suspense. Of not knowing. That makes us most uneasy. And I wasn't sleeping well again...<br />
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When I would fall asleep, it was shallow. I needed to be able to hear Bella. To hear if she needed my help. The sound of her ragged, labored breathing evoked flashbacks...and when I did finally go down deep enough to dream, sure enough, Bella would have an episode that would drag me from my dream world back to reality.<br />
It is an odd struggle, when one is rushed awake. One minute, dreaming, unaware that it is a dream...as something from the real world beckons, the fabric of the dream begins to unravel, and for me, it is a desperate, upward struggle, shaking off the world from the dream and clawing back to reality - with urgency - knowing I am needed.<br />
When I saw the movie Inception, starring Leonardo DeCaprio, it was an 'ah ha' moment. The scenes where they are awoken using a technique called 'The Kick'. That's how it feels. The world you believe, at the moment, to be real, being heaved apart as you are dragged towards awakening...<br />
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Finally, xrays were taken and the diagnosis...lung cancer...floored us all. Dr. Burrows could not believe the amount of tumors that appeared in Bella's lungs. We were devastated. We made Bella as comfortable as we could. The look in her eyes...pleading...begging me to help...once again, I was helpless.</div>
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We are left with many wonderful memories of Bella. Part of our family. She came into our lives just as we were about to need her most - only we did not know that. She gave all of herself to us, there while we cried and grieved. There to share in our holidays and vacations. Our family re-building. So strong, so stoic...</div>
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Thank you Bella</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-9847879628035615542016-02-18T21:17:00.002-07:002016-02-18T21:17:45.262-07:00What Dreams May Come<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A guy at work recently told me, that if I want to dream more, I should keep a 'dream journal'...Any truth to that?<br />
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I still dream a lot. And, in my dreams, I know Kim has passed, but am just so happy to see her and spend some time with her. If I allude to the fact that I know she is no longer here, she turns her head slightly, never breaking her gaze, and gives me the most wistful look...sad, but in Kim's way, reminding me to enjoy the moment.<br />
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During such a dream, Kim told me she was hungry for Chinese. And in the way dreams do, suddenly we had arrived. An older Chinese restaurant, but the type of place that upon sight you immediately know it is going to be a good spot. No validation necessary. Kim usually had good instinct that way.<br />
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"I love a good joint. <i>This </i>is a joint." she would reason. 9.9 times out of 10 100% correct (I'd like to say 'spot on', but find that phrase pretty overused of late and Kim never once used it.). She had the nose for a mom and pop establishment. This place fit the bill.<br />
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We ate. It seemed like we were there a lifetime. Kim's smile brightening up the oriental decor. The restaurant was really neat inside and the food was some of the best that we had found since moving away from the cuisine of Arch St in Philadelphia. <br />
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Of course, I didn't want it to end...but, like dreams do, it faded off as I woke to my alarm reminding me it was time to sell books.<br />
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Dreams with Kim, her visits, always leave me feeling so good. It is always so good to see here. To hear her laugh and see her smile. This one stuck with me, as most do...and...<br />
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....about a month or so later, I got an order from Pima County Community College at Barnes & Noble. It was a pretty large order and I was excited and surprised since they don't purchase from us often. When the books came in, I loaded them into the Expedition, Kim's Expedition, and started off...<br />
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At the first light I came to, I realized that I hadn't checked to see where they wanted the delivery. Pima CC is pretty well spread out through Tucson. I figured it was for the west campus on Anklam (where the Klimb 4 Kim originally started!), then I thought, maybe it was the one off of Speedway and the 10...But, the address was one I never heard of...on a 'Bonita' street. Thank God for 'smart phones' - I quickly spoke the address into my phone, without looking at the map, and let the voice direct me to my destination.<br />
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Google had me exit I-10 at Speedway, head west a short block and then make a left onto Bonita. I didn't think I'd been back that way previously, but found the campus, well, my <i>phone </i>found the campus for me and I off loaded their books.<br />
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I nearly headed back up Bonita towards Speedway to head home. Even slightly turned the Expedition's wheel in that direction before I flipped the wheel the opposite direction, without thought, and headed south towards Broadway instead. At the moment, I didn't think about my sudden change of route. I just did it.<br />
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About a quarter of a block from Pima, I rounded a small bend...and on my left...was <b>THE RESTAURANT!!!! </b>The one from my dream!! OUR dream!!! <br />
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The world began to blur and the scenery began to go backward in a very dream like feel...my world had lost it's boundaries, for a split second...and I realized the Expedition was drifting...I quickly pulled over for a better look.<br />
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'The Dragon's View' the sign read. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The dream had seemed so real - had I been here before??? After much memory searching, I remembered we <i>had </i>been here before!! With neighbors from the Tanque Verde Apartments we lived in when we first moved here 22 years ago. I think. I actually cannot remember exactly who we had been here with, but I knew without going inside, that I would know what it looked like. Not just from my dream - cuz you know how things are usually different in your dreams (kinda like places in tv shows are different from the real place they are based on....like Cheers. We went there one summer in '89, waited an hour and 45 minutes to get inside and it looked nothing like it did on tv!!). I didn't go inside, I felt numb. Dazed. After a few minutes, I drove away....<br />
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The Dragon's View would not quite leave my mind, so one night, we decided to go check it out....<br />
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Autumn and her friend, Izzy, at the entrance. See? A joint!</div>
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Walking inside, was like being back in my dream...or stepping from a time machine into 1994...well before everything went sideways...It looked exactly like I knew it would...and I knew the food would be tremendous!</div>
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Monsi, Lupe, Manny,, Aut, Izzy and Tonio - it was a GREAT meal!! They have a secret menu, too, if you ask!! I have a friend from Korea and one from Jakarta, who both told me that this is the best Chinese that Tucson has to offer and it is the <i>only </i>place they feel comfortable taking visitors!!</div>
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A little overwhelmed, I had to ask our waiter and his Mom, who was hostessing, how long they had been in this location. 'Just over 23 years' they told me. It fit. I told them I thought I had been here years ago, and about the dream - the service that night was amazing!! Thankful for Lupe to drive the White Whale for this occasion!! We will go back!!</div>
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This dream journal thing...hmmm, I wonder....</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-20437463075094921562016-01-04T21:31:00.002-07:002016-01-04T21:31:40.034-07:00Klimb 4 Kim 6<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Here we are in 1998, our 3rd walk, climbing with Cody, not yet one year old, and Cajun, who had just turned 4.<br />
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It's that time again!! The Klimb 4 Kim SIX will be on Saturday, March 5th. Jack LeDuke, will once again grace us with his artistic abilities and design a shirt to commomerate the event! The shirt will be a $10 donation to help Kim's Fund. All $10 will go towards helping families here in Tucson!!<br />
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As you may have read, Kim's Fund, is now benefitting the Pio Decimo Center located here in Tucson. They do wonderful work for families in need. They provide services for infant to adults. We have been focusing on the pre-school through 6th grade needs, but have also helped with older children and adults. Check out their website via the link below - this place really spoke to us when the kids and I visited it. We loved working with the previous admistrator, Carondelet, but they have turned into a 'for profit' organization and could not longer help us. Our search took a few months, but we feel in our hearts Pio Decimo would have been a place that Kim wanted to, <i>felt compelled to, </i>help.<br />
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How much to walk? If you can donate $25 to walk with us, that would be great - but any amount you can afford will help!! Or, just choose to walk with us, enjoy the day and help us remember Kim. Help us to keep her giving spirit alive!<br />
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The walk is approximately 6 miles round trip. We walk up the road from St. Mary's to the top of A Mountain and usually cut through the scenic desert on the way back. Please bring your Kim stories with you!<br />
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If you cannot walk - I know everyone is so busy, or out of town - you can help by ordering a t-shirt and/or sending a donation. <br />
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Checks should be made payable to: Pio Decimo. Please remember to put 'In memory of Kim Conca' on the memo line. Mail to us at 10513 E Satiny Willow Dr.<br />
Tucson, AZ 85747<br />
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or to:<br />
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Pio Decimo Center<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #272322; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px;">848 S. 7th Avenue</span><br />
<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 0px; color: #272322; font-family: 'Open Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> Tucson, AZ 85701</span><br />
You can also donate online at : http://www.ccs-pio.org<br />
Simply click on the 'Donate' button in upper right corner. There will be a place for you to put Kim's name as reason for giving.<br />
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There are no registration forms. Help out as much as you can, when you can. You can even bring cash/check the day of the walk. We go over to Pio Decimo at least once a month.<br />
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We typically start our walk at 8:00 a.m. -ish sharp. ; ) I will post pic and address of starting point back to this post soon...<br />
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Join us if you can, we'd love to walk with you!!<br />
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<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">"Gone Away" The Offspring</span><br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;" /><br />
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Maybe in another life<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I could find you there<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Pulled away before your time<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I can't deal it's so unfair<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And it feels<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And it feels like<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Heaven's so far away<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And it feels<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Yeah it feels like<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />The world has grown cold<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Now that you've gone away<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Leaving flowers on your grave<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Show that I still care<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />But black roses and Hail Mary's<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Can't bring back what's taken from me<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I reach to the sky<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And call out your name<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And if I could trade<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I would<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And it feels<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And it feels like<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Heaven's so far away<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And it stings<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Yeah it stings now<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />The world is so cold<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Now that you've gone away</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-14326924163124158852015-12-25T23:49:00.001-07:002015-12-29T13:42:38.858-07:00Christmas....5 years after...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I really didn't expect to find myself here again....Five years after we lost Kim, on Christmas Day.<br />
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What have I learned? I've been thinking about the blessings in our lives - more than I can count. And sometimes, when I find myself slipping, I need to stop and start counting them. One by one. 1. My children. How precious they are. And resilient. So caring, I cannot begin to relate how they take care of me, putting me before their own needs. Especially Autumn, who has become such a little Kim, it is sometimes painful. And Antonio, who is so caring. His boxing instructor, a young man of about 17, Elijah, told me the other day that when he is having a bad day, he thinks to himself 'I need to handle myself more like Antonio does'...made my heart swell. Cody, who is so much like me it is terrifying in some ways, became engaged on Christmas Eve. Because that is when I proposed to his mother back in 1993. And he wants to get married when he is 28. Just like we did. 2. Kim. How could I have such wonderful, caring, respectful and grateful children without her? They THANK me when we leave the grocery store. I ask 'What for?' 'For buying us food' they answer!!! And I am thankful for the years we had together. And the memories. And the holidays we shared. How special she made me feel. 3. I am thankful for the people in my life that God has blessed me with. Those who help get the kids to school. And after school activities. Those who call or text them from time to time to see how they are and how their day went. Those who include us for birthdays and holidays, making us feel welcome and a part of something special. Connected. One, today, told Autumn they'd help teach her to drive and said she should call him Uncle. It all may seem small to those who include us, but, when we get home...the kids, you should see/hear them - they feel they are a part of family here, thanks to those who include us!! Means so much, it is, perhaps, the biggest blessing. I know they need strong women in their lives. Not to replace their Mom, because that is not possible. But to fill in some of the void. The hole in our hearts. 4. My job. Barnes & Noble may not be doing well, Amazon is amazing, but it is still a great place to work. And the team that I work with is perhaps the finest in my 28 year career. I am blessed.<br />
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Each day has it's challenges. I wish I could have done some things differently, but am at peace, because I know that I cannot go back and change anything. But, I know I was a strain on those who helped me most and I am sorry for that.<br />
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There are so many blessings...I don't have time to write about all of them. And, as always, the kids need me right now. It is harder to find time to write. But they are good, they had a good day. We brought Kim up quite a bit, as we continued traditions like making ciopinno (seafood soup) on Christmas Eve. And making pizzels and biscotti. And making homemade raviolis on Christmas Day for lunch before heading to Angie's. All good. I will try to find the time later to transfer Christmas photos from my phone to the PC so I can share them with you.</div>
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Merry Christmas!!</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-16908684818255807442015-09-22T22:39:00.002-07:002015-09-22T22:39:34.767-07:00All Souls Day Procession<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Cdiv%20id=%22fb-root%22%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cscript%3E(function(d,%20s,%20id)%20%7B%20%20var%20js,%20fjs%20=%20d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];%20%20if%20(d.getElementById(id))%20return;%20%20js%20=%20d.createElement(s);%20js.id%20=%20id;%20%20js.src%20=%20%22//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.3"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));</script><div class="fb-post" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/AllSoulsProcessionWeekend/posts/693448717424040:0" data-width="500"><div class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><blockquote cite="https://www.facebook.com/AllSoulsProcessionWeekend/posts/693448717424040:0"><p>From Dave Conca: &quot;I met my wife, Kimberly Conca, at the age of 12, when we were in 7th grade, in Bethlehem, Pa. She was...</p>Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/AllSoulsProcessionWeekend">All Souls Procession Weekend</a> on&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/AllSoulsProcessionWeekend/posts/693448717424040:0">Tuesday, September 22, 2015</a></blockquote></div></div>"><div id="fb-root"></div><script>(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.3"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));</script><div class="fb-post" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/AllSoulsProcessionWeekend/posts/693448717424040:0" data-width="500"><div class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><blockquote cite="https://www.facebook.com/AllSoulsProcessionWeekend/posts/693448717424040:0"><p>From Dave Conca: &quot;I met my wife, Kimberly Conca, at the age of 12, when we were in 7th grade, in Bethlehem, Pa. She was...</p>Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/AllSoulsProcessionWeekend">All Souls Procession Weekend</a> on&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/AllSoulsProcessionWeekend/posts/693448717424040:0">Tuesday, September 22, 2015</a></blockquote></div></div></a><br />
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All Souls Day Procession will be on Sunday, November 8th this year. We've gone the last 5 years. They do a huge slide show on the side of one of the tall buildings down town. Thousands of loved ones who have passed on.<br />
Each year, I've told myself, how nice it would be for Tucson to see Kimmy up there, larger than life, on that building....<br />
And yet, there have been obstacles that I could not seem to clear...<br />
Until this year! Melanie, from the All Souls Day Procession committee, helped me get Kim's pic submitted. If you are in the area, stop by and see!!!</div>
Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-79656609097878092832015-03-01T22:02:00.001-07:002015-03-01T22:07:34.193-07:00Klimb 4 Kim 5...SATURDAY!!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Here's where we will meet Saturday morning for Klimb 4 Kim 5!! Just behind St Mary's Hospital on Anklam. We'll gather and start walking promptly around 8:00a.m.ish. Hope to see you there!! We've had a great donation response, thank you!!! </div>
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Today would have been Kimmy's 50th birthday! !</div>
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The kids wanted to go to the DeGrazia chapel and light her candles.</div>
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Followed by dinner at Kim's favorite, Zona 78!</div>
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Mary,Brinley, Kinsley, Emilio, Andrea, Mark, Angie...</div>
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And kids...Tonio, Breanna, Brendon, Cody, Lexy and Autumn...</div>
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Always a nice time...</div>
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And Kimmy, timeless...with Cajun...</div>
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Please help if you can... or help by joining us to walk...</div>
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Checks can be made payable to the Kimberly Conca Fund and mailed to Carondelet Foundation<br /> 2202 N Forbes <a class="profileLink" data-gt="{"entity":"5710844916","path":"\/pagelet\/pageletserver.php:PagePostsPagelet"}" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=5710844916" href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/BLVD/5710844916">BLVD</a> <br /> Tucson, AZ 85745<span class="text_exposed_hide">...</span><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> Or get it to me and I can run it over - I'm there often.</span></div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-10010200789588763152015-02-11T14:14:00.002-07:002015-02-11T14:14:50.586-07:00Klimb 4 Kim 5<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Here we go, another climb up A Mountain!! I remember the first climb we made, shortly after we moved here. Kim found the event in the newspaper (we did not have a computer or internet - ahhhh, the simple times...).<br />
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"Let's do this Dave. It's for a good cause."<br />
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At the time, we didn't know anyone with cancer. No one.<br />
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And now, now so many that have touched our lives are fighting courageously, just as Kim did...This is why this event is so important to me. To us. It will be the major fund raiser for Kim's foundation, as well. I'm running out of steam. Kim was tireless. I'm pretty much down to work...and the kids. I'm one place or the other.<br />
This walk is special for so many reasons. To remember. To share time with so many of you that have been there for us, to walk, talk, laugh...<br />
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So Saturday, March 7th, we will do it again. Starting promptly at 8:00ish, we will depart from the St Mary's Medical Center at 1702 W Anklam, just west of St. Mary's Hospital. Please join us. We are asking a $25 donation to Kim's foundation, or whatever you choose to contribute. Please make checks payable to the Kimberly Conca Fund. You can get cash or check to us and we will deliver it to the foundation or, you can mail it to:<br />
Carondelet Foundation<br />
2202 N Forbes Blvd<br />
Tucson, Az 85745<br />
c/o Kimberly Conca Fund<br />
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To date, the fund has helped countless families here in Tucson with loved ones in the Carondelet hospitals by providing grants for food, gas, bills, etc. $10K towards the new, all faiths, chapel at St Joseph's Hospital, $6K towards diagnostic machines for St. Joe's and, we just completed paperwork for the purchase of industrial strength recliners for ICU ($16K)!!<br />
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Thank you so much for all you do!<br />
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-24237328646874159452014-03-04T23:01:00.000-07:002014-03-04T23:01:54.701-07:00Klimb 4 Kim 4<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Klimb 4 Kim 4. Klimb 4 Kim FOUR.....FOUR?!?!?! Did I <em>actually </em>participate in Klimb 4 Kim 1, 2 AND 3?!?!?!<br />
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Sometime in the middle of the first week of February, the thought occurred to me "I wonder when the Cancer walk is scheduled this year." I googled it and my heart was immediately warmed to see the date; 3/1. Kim's birthday!!! How very appropriate!!!<br />
<strong>BUT </strong>according to my limited math skills, that was in about 3 1/2 weeks!!! <br />
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It was 'fun' putting together the flyer and the poster. I spent about 6 hours working on the Print Shop software Kim had installed on our PC. Wait a minute. Working? Struggling. Before the PC crashed.<br />
Whenever I am computer challenged, which is often, I call Ami for help....in an excruciatingly short time, Ami sent this:<br />
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Perfect! </div>
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She posted it on the Facebook for me and on Kim's blog.</div>
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Ami wasn't done yet...she created this one for posters!!</div>
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I hastily sent out texts, emails and FB messages...</div>
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Andrea's cousin Jack, artist who created the beautiful shirts for previous walks, asked 'what about shirts?' I let him know that I thought it was too late. I had waited too late this year. I just wanted him and Sandy to come down from Phoenix to join us.</div>
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Jack insisted. "What do the kids want on it this year?" He puts such a personal touch on these shirts. His creativity and inspiration fueled by Kim - he's told me that it's important to him that the bambini choose what's on the shirt. Something that reminds them of their Mama. And he adds colors/sunsets that remind him of Kim, that capture her essence..</div>
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"I love a challenge" Jack told me.</div>
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The kids were in awe when I showed them the design Jack had come up with...<br />
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"Wooowwwww..." was the best they could come up with. If I could take a picture of their faces...or, a video, to show the range of emotions that play out. They are always amazed at Jack's ability to capture their Mama and their appreciation for what he does is beyond their words...<br />
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(Carson, Jaimelyn, Autumn, Tonio, Kim, Andrea, Lexy. Jackie, Bobbi, Cody, Alyssa, Annette, Me, Shannon, Jack, Krista, Scott, Jason, Emily (Tonio's teacher this year!), Dawn, Shawn, AnnMarie, and Kirk) Angie, Sandy and Micah road the bus, and we missed them for this shot!</div>
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I am always humbled by the amount of people who remember Kim on walk day...it sounds corny, but it warms my heart. This year was especially challenging. Our first day of rain this year. Every day leading up was sunny. The day after the walk was perfect. </div>
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But, the forecast, this day, was 90% chance of rain. </div>
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One of the faithful walkers, a teacher at Cottonwood Elementary School, Pam, told me Friday, when I picked up Tonio, 'Don't worry Dave, it won't rain until afternoon.</div>
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Just in case, I tell the kids - LAYER - just in case! Walk shirts, covered by long sleever, concealed by jacket. With hat. </div>
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But it's a push to get out of the house. After all, I had admonished everyone to be there by '8ish'. Promptly. </div>
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We did begin, beneath a steely grey sky, around 8:15 or so, a good time to go. I had texted out 'It looks like we will beat this rain!'</div>
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I was telling Angie, as we neared the base of the mountain, the worst year we ever walked, was back in '04 - walking in memory of Kim's Dad. We had about 12 walkers from Linen's 'N Things, where I was managing, and the rain was coming sideways from the start. And it was near freezing temps. We made it near the base, before saying we had given it our best.</div>
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When we approached that point, I said to Angie 'we made it to about here.'...and the Heaven's unleashed!!!</div>
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"Oh my gosh!" Angie exclaimed, as if I had conjured up the rain.</div>
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Well, remember that I had coached the Bambini on proper dress attire? I look to Autumn, who was wearing a hat and jacket....to Tonio...Short. Sleeve. Walk shirt. Dammit. I quickly put my long sleeve shirt on him, as I noticed Lexy with no coat and wrapped her in my jacket. I searched for Cody...short sleeve walk shirt too. Bad Dad.</div>
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The rains on the south facing side of the mountain were driving, pelting our exposed arms, as we hustled to the top.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3u47iVtZcKdlpFNA6dBXeV6Wvz_ltJse0DNz0ZwxacS9-uZqUXnSglrXFqtGykIlWqQq-HkFkaFgEZWvHPp7IfbViFPuGu5e94IEplfI98YG9uljDx7aKxPwmicaqM4CA0zAM6whtNNA/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3u47iVtZcKdlpFNA6dBXeV6Wvz_ltJse0DNz0ZwxacS9-uZqUXnSglrXFqtGykIlWqQq-HkFkaFgEZWvHPp7IfbViFPuGu5e94IEplfI98YG9uljDx7aKxPwmicaqM4CA0zAM6whtNNA/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+3.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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"Are we taking a group shot this year?" Andrea quipped...we managed to pull it together long enough to snap one.</div>
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The bambini, with their friend Alyssa, still wanted to climb the gianormous A. Carson, son of Bobbi and Jason Mayeux, Tonio's principal, is halfway up!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqRmC3X6U3zGjrNxLCZKodYIuOULJFhpGEyT57JEx4vAZk3CD-wl-OCQbHXj85SLea32kAz43YCf2Bc9CX2VpPbmBzvYo7JH733uiKzHKtiIJgXxoOEo3CdDxs1WNx3EoHlc6y1AP9P1c/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqRmC3X6U3zGjrNxLCZKodYIuOULJFhpGEyT57JEx4vAZk3CD-wl-OCQbHXj85SLea32kAz43YCf2Bc9CX2VpPbmBzvYo7JH733uiKzHKtiIJgXxoOEo3CdDxs1WNx3EoHlc6y1AP9P1c/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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The rain <em>did</em> stop, and we were able to walk back down, taking the scenic path through the dessert.</div>
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We did it in record time this year!!</div>
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One of my favorite things about this core group of walkers that have been there with us year in and year out, are the stories that they offer up about Kim along the way. It's like a walking eulogy. I love it. </div>
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As has become a tradition, we converged on the Mariscos Chihuahua, a Mexican seafood restaurant not far from where the walk ends. 22 of us showed up this year - the most since we've walked in Kim's memory.</div>
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Every time we would pass by this Mariscos, I would tell Kim "take me there for my birthday'. I always loved the paintings of the waves on the outside. Inside, it's like being beneath the sea. There is a huge marlin, rock formations (Tonio spotted a likeness of Jesus carved in one), fish, sea kelp - it's beautiful. The food is tremendous (I feel like I am doing an infomercial!). It's just nice to keep the spirit of the walk going, share a meal and talk about the day's event.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZJvv7ddbcL7s-orYQWESqJnK75jYD2Kf4LkLCvRcjLT9z9eIkYuxBs1G0UPlHhyphenhyphenX6hHA-vdU1guqH7cO39FWqYBdH0w8OcNO-XGU0Gcpyzc6K21CQN52VOz9h_Yixox3zup0qD53I84g/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+Montes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZJvv7ddbcL7s-orYQWESqJnK75jYD2Kf4LkLCvRcjLT9z9eIkYuxBs1G0UPlHhyphenhyphenX6hHA-vdU1guqH7cO39FWqYBdH0w8OcNO-XGU0Gcpyzc6K21CQN52VOz9h_Yixox3zup0qD53I84g/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+Montes.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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(Emilio, Mary, Kinsley and Brinley)</div>
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The Montes family made the trek from the eastside on this rainy day to join us, resplendent in their walk shirts! </div>
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It was so fun! And to honor and remember Kim on her birthday was wonderful. We had a lot of first time walkers too! Andrea's cousin Shannon, who drove down from Phoenix. Cottonwood Elementary teachers, Jackie, Krista and Tonio's teacher, Emily. From Barnes & Noble, Jaimelyn brought Dan for the walk (he took the group photo for us at the top!). Again, I am so thankful for this event and the time to spend with these people.</div>
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It continued to rain, into the night. I took the bambini up to the DeGrazia Gallery, a Kim favorite. There was a book signing for a bio on Ettore DeGrazia that had just come out (I sold 18 copies the Friday before the walk!). We met the authors, who signed our book and talked to the kids. I finally got to introduce them to Lisa, the manager there (the one who permanently put Kim's photo on the altar in the chapel DeGrazia built) and we lit candles (I realize we do this weekly, in various places, but we <em>had </em>to today for Kim's bday!!)</div>
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Tonio and Autumn solemnly, reverently, light their candles....</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq1Qzjf_krzkirBsbxSvWhTs-ngeV9eGj8tc4C8G9Ku7TFzy9cBP_O86_EA5GAiUm05vqjK1BVt_Ezei71XXGq5CdRyrNRf-JHr89u_0JMMpU0AXSQfpbjJzI2p4fxUZC1ziKaxNMbg88/s1600/DeGrazia+Kim's+Bday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq1Qzjf_krzkirBsbxSvWhTs-ngeV9eGj8tc4C8G9Ku7TFzy9cBP_O86_EA5GAiUm05vqjK1BVt_Ezei71XXGq5CdRyrNRf-JHr89u_0JMMpU0AXSQfpbjJzI2p4fxUZC1ziKaxNMbg88/s1600/DeGrazia+Kim's+Bday.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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And a sunflower for Kim...one of her favorites!!</div>
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Happy Birthday Kimmy!!!</div>
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Still one of my favorite birthday shots - Cody (about 4), Kim, Andrea, Lexy (1ish) and Autumn (1ish).</div>
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Leading up to Kim's birthday....well, the bambini - I tell them; when you are faced with a decision. A choice. <em>Any </em>decision or choice. Think about what your Mama would do. What would make her proud?</div>
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Here's one of the things Tonio was absolutely <strong><em>insistent </em></strong>we take care of - touching up the memorial in the middle of Fantasy Island. </div>
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"When do you thi<strong>nk we could go Dad?"</strong> he'd persist, literally, each day. </div>
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'I <strong><em>will not </em></strong>go into Fantasy Island' Autumn informed us, inciting her brother's immediate ire.</div>
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"WHY?"</div>
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"I already escaped harm and death there several times." she calmly explained to them, as if they were kindergartners (no offense Ami and Mary, but you know my boys! ; ) ) She deftly describes the time I had to carry Cody's bike out after his rear rim bent and would not turn. The time we got caught by darkness, her and Cody speeding ahead, racing the daylight - Autumn vomiting when they made it to safety, as she was worried for Tonio and me. Calm, Cool Hand Luke, Tonio, turning to me as darkness fell and a coyote stopped on the path ahead of us, as if to size us up, flipping on his bike light...."Will this help?", he asked as the beam of the light lit up our path like a large tiki torch. Oh, and the cow, <em>no <strong>bull!</strong></em> that we saw just scant feet from our trail, threatening to impale us..."I. Am. Done." She repeats for emphasis.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBw-wPD7F4V3xRgmFObuL2mu6LUbuobbVQ-YopvHP5dUTKaIy0DAfGtE81hZbkXAT08T5igdizkN2plrDZMYKnEQsfCBwtx4CC8QzfXC5W7iOIgS9J2L6CyAq71NrlFc2CmUSY5PwmmXs/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+189.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBw-wPD7F4V3xRgmFObuL2mu6LUbuobbVQ-YopvHP5dUTKaIy0DAfGtE81hZbkXAT08T5igdizkN2plrDZMYKnEQsfCBwtx4CC8QzfXC5W7iOIgS9J2L6CyAq71NrlFc2CmUSY5PwmmXs/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+189.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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Cody does the honors of darkening the lettering and we all re-sign our names.</div>
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Moments after we sign, Cody is gone - racing off to more technical corners of Fantasy Island. Tonio and I cannot hope to keep up...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNKwnJLNX5BuChmyZMcn0Dzw57Bs9oN7e67Hdr5slrVVVLN9Yx6_pFOCk152TCCwnE5kfoLDn04oLw-5tldthyz-93TbkgCEh2xF8Z7XNhyphenhyphenxFrEdBi4cbqAznUPyOsqp-03HSFJ0iFgpo/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+191.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNKwnJLNX5BuChmyZMcn0Dzw57Bs9oN7e67Hdr5slrVVVLN9Yx6_pFOCk152TCCwnE5kfoLDn04oLw-5tldthyz-93TbkgCEh2xF8Z7XNhyphenhyphenxFrEdBi4cbqAznUPyOsqp-03HSFJ0iFgpo/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+191.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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Tonio actually kept up an amazing speed - his fastest time ever! But, I did almost lose him twice. To creosote bushes, thankfully not jumping cholla, which reach out at every turn. He literally ran through a huge creosote, which sucked hold of his front tire midway through, sending him flying, Superman style, over the handlebars and depositing him in the dead center of the bike trail - a classic belly flop, driving the very air from his lungs and leaving him speechless.</div>
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I shouted his name, grabbing him, picking him up and simultaneously dusting him off (as if that would help)...He began giggling "Did you see that Dad???" Uh, yeh son, you just chopped off 6.5 years of my life....</div>
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And then there is my way of honoring Kim...ink. Immediate reminders. Kim was my balancer, so I need to 'write' reminders on me in the way we used to write phone numbers on our hands with pens.</div>
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To make it even more special, I ask Cody to make the prelim design for me. He is taking Computer Graphics (Kim's major at Kutztown U!) and acing it!! He got right to work and nailed it on the first try!!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgliYfA1dU8UL37bf9TxQG9uVbzHFmQwHVP9IcMi0WThIq3d3vwLzHyLGYSW9l6kxvgZCp_-Gh0BVZo-0YA0WAGbfHCxKD-Nrj7Ax-hJ1Oc1uA0YQOjLmxPxpCakDyx2lalJudBvAfruaY/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgliYfA1dU8UL37bf9TxQG9uVbzHFmQwHVP9IcMi0WThIq3d3vwLzHyLGYSW9l6kxvgZCp_-Gh0BVZo-0YA0WAGbfHCxKD-Nrj7Ax-hJ1Oc1uA0YQOjLmxPxpCakDyx2lalJudBvAfruaY/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+200.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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My tat artist, at Tattoo Artistry, Country Club and Pima (yes, a shameless plug), Dave Williams. Now, I've told this story a billion times, but, just in case, I hired Dave at Toys R Us several centuries ago. He was about 16 and had that natural ability to excel at video games and gaming systems that seems inherent in our youth. He quickly became master of our electronics department. </div>
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Over the five plus years that we worked together, I noticed that Dave had an extraordinary artistic talent. One day I asked what he wanted to do with all of that talent - "Open a tattoo parlor" he told me. </div>
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Well, Dave was great to work with - knowledgeable, great with customers and coworkers, big heart, etc - I told him when I was ready for a tat, I'd look him up.</div>
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Kim and I always talked about getting matching tattoos with a symbol for 'forever', but never got around to it...</div>
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And, it other 'small town' news, Cody's kinder teacher and flyer creator, Ami, used to babysit Dave along with her sister Mary (Aut and Tonio's kinder teach cuz Ami fled to the distant planet of Phoenix. Briefly.), Their families are very close - in fact, I've had an opportunity to meet and have dinner with Dave's Mom! So, he is the perfect person to entrust serious artwork, in Kim's honor, in the form of tattoos. He is so incredibly talented!!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTIPQDaTlbMopBBvdOCQthWCtEsSjCuCZwsCjGwHgpr0wakIQpU7lc014UT1KmUNfrF4gwutCNt9goax0kjL9yY_B-HdTEsB1_lTg1WCg3tltbsx9ipD1Ru6BtATFksLlSW6to8xPT7cI/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTIPQDaTlbMopBBvdOCQthWCtEsSjCuCZwsCjGwHgpr0wakIQpU7lc014UT1KmUNfrF4gwutCNt9goax0kjL9yY_B-HdTEsB1_lTg1WCg3tltbsx9ipD1Ru6BtATFksLlSW6to8xPT7cI/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+203.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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For me, most definetly, the hardest part of getting a tattoo, is, that I drink so much iced tea, and let's face it, I'm getting old, and have to hit the men's room often!!!</div>
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So here it is. St Jude. Patron Saint of lost causes. Yes, I've been the lost cause. Most of you did not know me before Kim came along and cleaned me up. Saved me. However, you've seen the zig zag pattern I've left across the landscape over the last 3 and a half years since Kim left me. So, you know this is appropriate. Right?</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-azOnY9e1VSM/Uxa4FTNK21I/AAAAAAAAIGo/nRJ9CmMPV-o/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-azOnY9e1VSM/Uxa4FTNK21I/AAAAAAAAIGo/nRJ9CmMPV-o/s1600/Klimb+4+Kim+4+205.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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The backside of my right calf. The shaded areas typically hurt the most, but, recently, Dave studied with a tat artist from Sweden and learned a new technique that does not hurt as bad, but the detail looks great. I was the second person he has applied this new found knowledge on and let me tell you, it is the best!</div>
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The white dove...Cody added it to symbolize Kim...</div>
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Finally, as we were driving sometime after the walk...</div>
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Kim sent us a little 'thank you' ; )</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-27263902401343151442014-02-21T21:03:00.002-07:002014-02-21T21:03:35.529-07:00Boxing Inc<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Antonio continues to be the boxer of the family...He has been involved in 5 sparring matches now. He has his own mouthpiece. And a new sense of confidence.<br />
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(Tonio in white)</div>
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Tonio, in white, prepares to unleash a right hook. <br />
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In his first match, Antonio would throw punches from a very safe distance. Usually coming to a completion a good four inches from his oppenent's head. I would ask him, why doesn't he connect? He told me that he didn't want to actually hurt anyone. He also backed away and ran a little bit... I let him know that with the size of the gloves they are wearing and protetctive head gear, he wouldn't have to worry about that.<br />
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Over the next few sparring matches, Antonio gained confidence and began connecting. I told him the story of Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini, famous Olympic boxer and champ at the age of 21 back in the '80's' from Youngstown, Ohio. He never backed up during his fights. Since I told him that story, neither has Antonio!!<br />
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He trains hard...<br />
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And makes time to kiss babies (Mary's daughter Kinsley!).</div>
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(Tonio in white. He <em>always </em>wears white. I tell him 'Tonio, you can choose any color shirt you want. It does not have to be white.' And yet....) </div>
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He is a relentles student of the ring. At first, it hurt his feelings when I would tell him to watch another boxer, to see their technique, their footwork, or when he'd come out of the ring and I'd say 'here's what you did well, here's what you have to work on.' He took it as a personal failure, so hard on himself! I had to explain to him that that is the best way to learn - to never think he knew it all - watch...and learn. Now, he leans against the ring, pointing things out to me. And the moment he is out of the ring, after telling his oppenent 'Good fight!' He will hustle over and ask what I thought.</div>
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One of his teachers at Cottonwood, Ashley, is an instructor at Boxing Inc and has taught Antonio so much. She recently tied a rope from one end of the training area to the other side and had Antonio manuever, in fight stance, the length of the rope, ducking and rolling to get beneath, taking a step forward and then ducking back to the other side.</div>
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Last week, while fighting an oppenent taller and defininetly heftier than him, Antonio found himself taking a bit of a beating. I called out 'duck and roll Tonio!' And he began doing it with ease, as if he was merely transgressing the length of rope that Ashley had taught him on a week before. In fact, his oppenent became so frustrated with Tonio's 'Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee' approach, ala Muhammed Ali, that he resorted to pushing Antonio!!</div>
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Oops! I never could get the video to upload, sorry. I am going to try to tape a short segment of his next fight and post it up. Okay? </div>
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Pretty proud of this guy! He's still a teddy bear, who misses his Mama and struggles with what happened to him in the aftermath - but, he's a fighter, a learner and has such a big heart!!</div>
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And at the end of the day, he just wants to snuggle with his puppy Bella....</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-72022192450273805612014-01-31T23:44:00.000-07:002014-01-31T23:49:15.380-07:00Time in a Bottle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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We've been getting ready for a yard sale. The garage is ripe. So much has been collected. We've cleaned nearly every closet, armoire, Kim's 'basement' under the bed, and drawer. </div>
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The only place left? The 'attic' above the garage where we typically keep only holiday decorations. </div>
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There was a lot of sports memorabilia mixed in...A 24" talking Michael Jordan from the movie 'Space Jam' (now, if you haven't seen this one, you MUST!! Even has Bill Murray in it!!), a set of KISS action figures, still intact in package. A box of Cal Ripken Wheaties. Unopened. And a Sports Illustrated from 1997 with Miles Simon on the cover, the year that the University of Arizona won the NCAA basketball championship!! <br />
An over sized Gumby that the bambini immediately grabbed and ran to hide somewhere in the house. A tradition started at Linens 'N Things that my employees there started and shared with my kids. They loved roaming that store searching for Gumby...and now, they love going there even more, since they turned the building into a Peter Piper Pizza when Linens went out of business.<br />
A basket of Kim's jewelry caught Autumn's eye. Turquoise necklace and bracelet set from Second Mesa, the Navajo Indian reservation up north. Pearl earrings. A ring made from a spoon that my Dad had created for her....and an Eeyore charm dangling from a sterling silver chain. I had gotten Kim it in Disney World back in 1989.<br />
My 11th grade report card..."DAD!!! You got a lot of C's and D's!!" Autumn squealed (straight A's in typing class, neatly offset straight F's in citizenship). Mexican style picture frames - punched silver. I have been looking for new ones to hang in our hallway. Her college text books and a box of well loved pastels.<br />
A bottle of Tanqueray...Kim had given me for our first anniversary of dating...She wrote me a message on the label...There were a bunch of old videos we had taken of Cody and Autumn when they were babies. They have spent hours watching all of them. So neat to see them huddled together on my bed (we have an old VHSDVD combo unit Kim had invested in many years ago), laughing, asking questions, and sitting, staring at our past. It is all so surreal...I lived a blessed life!<br />
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And a tub of photographs....<br />
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play while you look into the past... </div>
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We must have been about 19 years old or so in this one!! Once again, Kim appears to be delighted by whatever bs is coming out of my mouth. She always made me feel like I was the funniest, handsomest, most interesting guy in the room - even though I wasn't!!!<br />
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We once traveled to a distant country called 'Oklahoma' to visit my sister Sherri. They once had a huge dust storm that caused folks to move away. I am told they now have a professional basketball team there! We went to a barbecue place with Sherri, Anthony, me, Natalie and Kim - such a sharp jacket Kim wore!! </div>
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Snow Bunny. Kim gives all new meaning to this term. Taught her how to ski at Breckenridge...the mountains were breathtaking....as was Kim.<br />
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That smile...so radiant. A very wee Cajun, just a few months old. That dress was one of my all time favorites...certainly Old Tucson was a favorite hangout of ours - season ticket holders until it burned down. When they rebuilt, it was never quite the same...<br />
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Another photo of Kimmy at Old Tucson...the hint of a smile, arms behind the back, legs lightly crossed, hair over one shoulder...amazing...</div>
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Have no doubts. Kim was mighty. Stronger than her delicate beauty portrayed. Here, she out does Rocky, in center city Philly, by decking a fire hydrant near the art museum where Rocky ran up the stairs. We always raced up the steps...one of the few things I could beat Kimmy at!<br />
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The south was gripped by a cold front when we moved from PA to AZ. We didn't get out of the cold until we left NM and got into AZ. I believe this is in Arkansas, Kim putting on her best redneck for the pic. We did not eat there, choosing 'Slick Willie's' instead, homage to then president Clinton. The motto was 'we can tax your food but not your taste buds'. They lied. Note the price of gas back then!!!</div>
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Kim, majestic on high, up at Windy Point on Mt Lemmon. Her trusty dog, Cajun, at her side...<br />
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And this one, the gem of them all...<br />
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Kim in her 'Footy Pajamas'. I got them for her for Christmas, '89. She was so proud of them - she always wanted a pair. This is New Year's Eve that year. We'd always find a hotel that had some sort of band or party and get a room there - it was so fun!! Again, I am paralyzed by that shining smile...and those eyes...</div>
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She truly loved me unconditionally.</div>
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It was an amazing find and the bambini were jittery with excitement as they took it all in...</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-65039689598540533922013-12-25T00:35:00.000-07:002013-12-25T00:35:22.329-07:00Buon Natale<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Christmas Season...upon us again?!?!?!<br />
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The feast of the seven fishes. An Italian tradition. Kim's version was cioppino. The bambini worked her magic today, whipping up an invariable feast!!! Scallops (Kim's favorites!), calamari (yes, squid! It's the <em>real </em>chicken of the sea!), mussles (Kim and I farmed these from the jettis in Jersey), clams (our favorite order at Stahley's bar in Allentown, PA - $2.95/dozen), shrimp, tilapia and cod.</div>
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Tree decorated, awaiting Santa!</div>
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Cody, such a big helper and the glue to our family, applies the reindeer tracks...always amazes Antonio!! Powdered sugar! Cody made the stencil out of a manila folder!</div>
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DeGrazia chapel. North on Swan from Skyline. Kim's photo was inshrined their perpetually on Sunday. They came across her blog. Learned of her love of the DeGrazia gallery and his works and her talent for art....Lisa, the gallery manager asked me to bring Kim's photo for their altar.</div>
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I had placed her there once before, about two years ago. Lisa told me that hey have to collect items frequently, as there are so many. They bury them there on the grounds. Kim would have been pleased. But now, she is there forever!!!!</div>
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Autumn...at her awards ceremony...4.0 Principal's award!! With Micah Mortensen, Desert Sky Middle School's principal. He takes such good care of her and his students. She also won a citinzenship award and techonolgy award!!</div>
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Tonio...his fourth sparring match...he's doing well. Such a joy to watch him work in the ring!</div>
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Our Christmas angel that we added for the holidays...for Kim...</div>
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The bambini hang angels in our front yard olive tree for Kim...<br />
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Wishing you and your family a blessed and very Merry Christmas!!!<br />
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-19396121726575280472013-12-13T23:49:00.000-07:002013-12-13T23:50:20.722-07:00From Storms Come Rainbows<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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"From storms come rainbows..." One of the first messages I received today...One that kept me going all day long - counting all of the rainbows!!<br />
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I couldn't do it without these words of inspiration. I couldn't.<br />
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Three years have passed in a blink of an eye. Kim's bathrobe still doesn't get it. It hangs, right where it always had, ready to go. And the time doesn't lessen the pain, but with time, comes clarity - giving daily life coherence...and order. We don't have a 'routine', but life isn't a 'routine', so we don't try to impose boundaries where they don't belong. But, whoever said 'Time heals all wounds' was a liar. Or had no heart. Or, sadly, never had anyone like Kim in their lives!<br />
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We were able to spend the day celebrating Kim with friends. It was a beautiful day...and her 5th Annual (yes, 5th!! She thought up, planned and ran the first two and planned the 3rd, but got sick and passed before the actual event!) Pancake breakfast is tomorrow morning already!!<br />
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A friend of ours that we met in 7th grade sent me this video - listen closely...the bambini stood stock still, ears cocked, eyes locked on the screen....and then nodded in agreement...</div>
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Autumn, one of my 'Rainbows'!!</div>
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Good night Kimmy....</div>
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...my Angel</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-29211435093989765822013-12-12T20:55:00.001-07:002013-12-12T22:30:35.277-07:00The Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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On this day, three years ago, I spent praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe for a miracle.<br />
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Official Catholic accounts state that on the morning of December 9, 1531, Juan Diego saw an apparition of a young girl at the Hill of Tepeyac, near Mexico City. Speaking to him in Nahuatl, the girl asked that a church be built at that site in her honor; from her words, Juan Diego recognized the girl as the Virgin Mary. Diego told his story to the Spanish Archbishop of Mexico City, Fray Juan de Zumárraga, who instructed him to return to Tepeyac Hill, and ask the "lady" for a miraculous sign to prove her identity. The first sign was the Virgin healing Juan's uncle. The Virgin told Juan Diego to gather flowers from the top of Tepeyac Hill. Although December was very late in the growing season for flowers to bloom, Juan Diego found Castilian roses, not native to Mexico, on the normally barren hilltop. The Virgin arranged these in his peasant cloak or <i>tilma</i>. When Juan Diego opened his cloak before Bishop Zumárraga on December 12, the flowers fell to the floor, and on the fabric was the image of the Virgin of Guadalupe.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-1">[1]</sup><br />
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Miracles. I needed one...</div>
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...and what I've found out, is that I <em>did </em>have one! <strong>Kim <em>was </em>MY miracle!!!!</strong> How could I have been more blessed??</div>
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When I was young and dumb - Kim found me, cleaned me up and taught me to appreciate all that we had and all that was around me. </div>
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Without her in my life....well, let's just say that I understand that Kim was my chance at something else...</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-53408802628605263812013-12-11T23:31:00.000-07:002013-12-12T21:08:54.372-07:00Counting Stars<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Sometimes I can't remember....<br />
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....I hear a song, and look for the memories attached...<br />
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....or drive down a street and find a time that we did together...<br />
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The drive interrupted by a new business. Or road improvements. Or new homes.<br />
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And my mind drifts - this song...? <em>Did </em>Kim hear this one? Was she here when this group put this out? Lately, it's One Republic. Or Train. Any of her favorites. When I hear them, I think that it was one of Kim's songs and wait for where we were when we first heard it together. When nothing comes, I think 'Kim would have liked this tune'...<br />
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Here's another one - convenience stores. Yes, gas stations with mini markets! When we lived in Pennsylvania, it seemed 7-11 was dominant. And we loved the Slurpees. I liked the collectible cups that they would put out. The 1988 men's Olympic Basketball team was one of my favorite. I had accumulated a trunk full of them. Our cabinets were stuffed with them. <br />
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"Dave?" Kim would begin. Gently. "Maybe we could get rid of some of the older cups? To make room?" "But they are perfect size for iced tea!" I'd appeal. I think I still have a Michael Jordan cup somewhere!<br />
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When we moved here, Circle K was like 7-11 on steroids. We loved the drink selection. And chili jalapeno hot dogs!?!?!? We probably went to a Circle K every other day. And, I'm convinced, we were at <em>every </em>Circle K in Tucson over the time that we lived here!<br />
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Now there is QT. I'm sure that Kim had never been. And I know that she would have loved them! Fresh brewed iced tea! At a convenience store!?!?! And in several flavors, including mango, my current favorite and Kim loved all things mango. The newer QT's feature a snack bar that have fantastic soft pretzels and real cappuccino! <br />
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The employees great you as you enter. And, after checking out, they say 'See you next time!'. The bambini love it. Cody has discovered their make-your-own milk shake machine and turned Tonio into a fan. Autumn like's the selection of bottled lemonade. They have the Tapatio/Lime potato chips that Breanna got me hooked on.<br />
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Crazy, eh?<br />
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But when I'm driving around, not really thinking about anything...these things come up.<br />
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Road improvements...Houghton corridor widening project. A running joke between Kim and I. On the books when we moved here in 1994. We'd often comment that if only they had begun before they built the Civano, then Mesquite Ranch, the Desert Willow Estates (our development), then Sierra Morado - it would have been a much quicker, easier and less expensive project, since it was only desert on both sides of the road. The project runs approximately 10 miles from Houghton and I-10 on the southern end of the project to Tanque Verde and Houghton on the north end. She would have gotten a chuckle and found irony in the city deciding to start the project, seemingly randomly, in the not quite middle between Valencia and Irvington <br />
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There is no doubt that Kim had a great appreciation for life and the experiences that we shared. She lived each day to the fullest, no regrets. Yet...as I witness 'progress' and change, I wonder what experience they would have brought to us. Or, in some cases, I struggle to remember if maybe we <em>had </em>some shared memories in what I was passing or seeing.<br />
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Movies are another. When we watch a movie together on Netflix, or on t.v., I think "Kim and I saw this...or did we?" <br />
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It has become almost a game with me, trying to decipher WK (With Kim) and AK (After Kim).<br />
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ESCAPE!!</div>
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Bisbee, AZ</div>
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Best friends!! Brinley and Tonio building castles..</div>
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More Best Friends! Monsi and Tonio ride coaster at Peter Piper Pizza!!<br />
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Cody trips the Merry-Go-Round!</div>
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The bambini continue to fill my days...so thankful for them, so blessed to have them.</div>
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Cuz when I was a kid, there were these inflatable guys called 'bop bags'. Sometimes they were clowns, like Bozo. Sometimes you could find them as super heroes like Batman. Or Scooby Doo. They were almost pear shaped and the bottom has some sort of sand or something to make it heavier.</div>
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You could punch it.</div>
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And it would bounce back up.</div>
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You could kick it.</div>
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And it would bounce back up.</div>
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You could karate chop it.</div>
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And, you guessed it, it would bounce back up....</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-2218855588949233442013-12-10T01:00:00.000-07:002013-12-10T01:00:27.442-07:00Feast Day of Juan Diego<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I don't know where to begin today...so, since it was the feast day of St. Juan Diego, I thought I'd share his story - perhaps my favorite? Kim and I wanted to make it down to Mexico, to see this church...<br />
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Juan Diego was born in 1474 in the calpulli or ward of Tlayacac in Cuauhtitlan, which was established in 1168 by Nahua tribesmen and conquered by the Aztec <a href="http://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/view.php?id=5217">lord</a> Axayacatl in 1467; and was located 20 kilometers (14 miles) north of Tenochtitlan (Mexico City).<br />
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On December 9, 1531, a native Mexican named Juan Diego rose before dawn to walk fifteen miles to daily <a href="http://www.catholic.org/prayers/mass.php">Mass</a> in what is now <a href="http://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/view.php?id=7943">Mexico</a> City. Juan lived a simple <a href="http://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/view.php?id=7101">life</a> as a weaver, farmer, and laborer. That morning, as Juan passed Tepeyac Hill, he heard music and saw a glowing cloud encircled by a rainbow. A woman's voice called him to the top of the hill. There he saw a beautiful young <a href="http://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/view.php?id=12437">woman</a> dressed like an Aztec princess. She said she was the Virgin <a href="http://www.catholic.org/bookstore/?category=19">Mary</a> and asked Juan to tell the <a href="http://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/view.php?id=1918">bishop</a> to build a church on that site. She said, "I vividly desire that a church be built on this site, so that in it I can be present and give my love, compassion, help, and defense, for I am your most devoted mother . . . to hear your laments and to remedy all your miseries, pains, and sufferings." </div>
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The <a href="http://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/view.php?id=1918">bishop</a> was kind but skeptical. He asked Juan to bring <a href="http://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/view.php?id=9667">proof</a> of the Lady's identity. Before Juan could go back to the Lady, he found out his uncle was dying. Hurrying to get a priest, Juan missed his meeting with the Lady. The Lady, however, met him on his path and told him that his uncle had been cured. </div>
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She then told Juan to climb to the top of the hill where they first met. Juan was shocked to find flowers growing in the frozen soil. He gathered them in his cloak and took them at once to the bishop. </div>
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Juan told the <a href="http://www.catholic.org/encyclopedia/view.php?id=1918">bishop</a> what had happened and opened his cloak. The flowers that fell to the ground were Castilian roses (which were not grown in Mexico). But the bishop's eyes were on the glowing image of the Lady imprinted inside Juan's cloak. </div>
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Soon after, a church was built on the site where our Lady appeared, and thousands converted to Christianity. <a href="http://www.catholic.org/about/guadalupe.php">Our Lady of Guadalupe</a> was declared the patroness of the Americas. <br />
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And now to Autumn, once again, who I'm so proud of, but worry about the most. She puts so much on herself. Taking care of the boys and I. And maintaining straight A's. As I made her soup for her lunch at midnight, Cody came to me concerned. I explained Autumn's stomach has been sensitive - stress? Probably. He asked me not to stay up to late. He's such a good son - I'm pretty proud of him too.<br />
Autumn tells me she does not want to see a doctor. I tell her she's known her doctor for years and the group we go to - they are all so nice. "No Dad, what if they send me to the hospital?" she says quietly, tears welling up....<br />
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"Like Mama?"<br />
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I'm a little too floored to respond immediately.<br />
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"Play 'Headlights' Dad." she asks, those deep blue eyes, like magnets, searching my eyes. "Has a song ever given you goosebumps? This one gives me them." <br />
Well, I can think of a bunch - with wonderful memories related to Kim and the times we shared, so I tell her absolutely, that's what I love so much about music - finding the tunes that grab you, take you somewhere else.<br />
Her Mama like a band called Fun. And the lead singer, Nate Ruess, collaborates with Eminem on this tune:<br />
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I always love when the bambini tell me which songs speak to them. Cody always does. This is a good one, particularly the end - I know it reminds her of her Mama - if you listen to the final refrain, it will remind you of Kim too. She was so stoic, right up to the end. It was me who broke down, holding her tight, crying. And there was Kim, consoling me, asking me to give her a kiss, everything would be alright. She was not afraid. She had her faith.<br />
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She has passed on that strength - it was not for nothing. I know that I was blessed to have had her in my life. And the children she brought into this world...amazing!</div>
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"Those who wait on the Lord<br />
Shall renew their strength;<br />
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,<br />
They shall run and not be weary,<br />
They shall walk and not faint."<br />
-Isaiah 40:31</div>
Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-69446775874073630772013-12-08T22:30:00.000-07:002013-12-09T09:28:22.511-07:005 Days<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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5 Days. A great drinking game, perhaps. 'if you knew you only had 5 days to live, how would you spend them?' Or 'what would you do?' or any number of scenarios....<br />
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Kim knew. She would spend them with friends and family. She would give us all peace. And a sense of hope. Set our minds at ease and giving us memories to last a lifetime. The poise she had...amazing.<br />
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That was Kim.<br />
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Coming home from the hospital, we were elated. There were banners hung from our garage. A chalka Estrada (sidewalk chalk) display on our driveway. Our friends, and Arizona family, were here to visit, cook, and enjoy Kim's smiles and kind words.<br />
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Today, at Mass, I remembered all of this...as if it was right now. Kim, with such dignity, providing all of us with smiles, all the while knowing what lie in store for her. Getting ready to give us the best 5 days of the last 50 days. Remarkable.<br />
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This weekend, I was thankful. One of my friends, facing tough circumstances and putting forth a great effort and attitude. Leaving me feel very thankful for those 5 days of peace and hope that I shared with Kim.<br />
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I am even more appreciative of the time I was blessed to have with Kim, when I compare my situation to that of others. <br />
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I could have had infidelity in our marriage. We did not.<br />
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I could have lost Kim suddenly, in a car crash or violent crime, but did not.<br />
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I could have Kim, as an ex, hating me, not loving me....<br />
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....but I do not.<br />
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Here we are, on Thanksgiving, enjoying a family breakfast...the bambini have been like concrete!</div>
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Those 5 days...an absolute gift from Kim.</div>
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"I cried because I had no shoes...until I saw the man that had no feet"</div>
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Kim's 5th annual Pancake Breakfast and 5K is this Saturday. She thought up this idea. She planned and ran the first two events, complete with classic car show. She had planned the third event, when she was stricken with cancer...the 3rd event was held just days after she passed. Rincon Vista Middle School has been so kind, thoughtful and generous to keep Kim's vision alive and apply her name to this fun event. This Saturday is the 5th Kim Pancake Breakfast. 5th. </div>
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The bambini and I would appreciate if you could find a way, in the midst of your busy lives, to attend this event. All Kim wanted to do was give back. To a community she loved. Please honor her this Saturday, a day after the 3 year anniversary of her gaining her wings and becoming an Angel...We'd love to see you there!!!</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-28691625092340869782013-11-19T22:14:00.002-07:002013-11-20T09:16:28.668-07:00Halloween '13<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I never got around to writing or posting pictures this Halloween. I'm no longer a big fan of this time of year. The holiday's stretching, seemingly taunting me, from now until New Year's. Each week bringing a new anniversary, a reminder.<br />
It's alarming how fast Halloween came and went. I had Cody pull down the decorations at the beginning of October, determined to celebrate this holiday in Kimmy fashion...I had the bambini carefully unpack the assorted ghosts, ghouls and goblins that Kim had put together over the years and place them about the house where they liked...And, I resisted the urge to reposition any of them!<br />
We typically did not put out the outdoor decorations until the day of Halloween and the bags of pumpkins, etc lay waiting in the garage...only, they never made it out. We did not make it to the pumpkin patch for the first time ever - the kids were so gracious about it. "It's really ok Dad." Autumn told me... <br />
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Halloween day, I finally ran down to Walmart...WALMART!?!?! (you know I'm broken...running low!!) and picked out a pumpkin for each kid....and candy for Cody to hand out. For the last few years, he has stayed home, transformed the front of our house into a haunted house and scared trick-or-treaters. This year, he told me that he was going to see a movie with his buddies...the thrill had worn off. <br />
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We were invited to haunt in Lupe and Manny's neighborhood with Monsi...I LOVE Monsi's zombie costume!!! This girl and Tonio are best buds, she has the greatest personality!! Autumn dusted off, literally, Kim's Cruella DeVil costume and ROCKED it!! Complete with makeup she did herself. Tonio pieced together an old Cody costume (which Lupe had to make last minute emergency alterations on because his bones kept falling off!!). I had taken these guys out costume hunting to several places...they looked carefully, and after much consideration, told me they were going to put together costumes from the box of old costumes in our garage. I overheard them talking about price..."I'm not having Dad spend $30 on a costume I'll only wear one night and that I'm not even that crazy about." Tonio told Autumn. Autumn not only agreed, but told Tonio she thought the same thing but wasn't going to say anything in case he saw a costume he really wanted!!!<br />
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Preparing to trick or treat at Lupe's house<br />
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Leaving Lupe and Manny's garage to score some candy. As little trick or treater's approached, gleefully shouting "Trick or Treat!!" I tried to school them, telling them to just scream "Treat!!" cuz did they really want a trick? Seriously, no one is in it for the tricks, just the treats! The kids had so much fun with Monsi - it made their Halloween!</div>
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Autumn felt honored to wear Kim's favorite costume...she looked so good!</div>
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Tonio wore Cody's old alien costume to a neighborhood function we went to the weekend before Halloween with our neighbor's Rachel and Dave.<br />
The kids had a blast walking the streets with Monsi near our old neighborhood and collected a ton of candy!!<br />
The weekend after Halloween, we finally found a minute to breathe...and carve the pumpkins!!<br />
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Bella helped out!! I never did quite catch up in time for the holiday...it amazes me how quickly the time goes...I know what to 'fall by the wayside' means. But, the kids had fun and reassure me that it was a good Halloween!</div>
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Autumn has done an amazing job on the soccer field!! Her and Lexy, may very well be the smallest two on the field, but both play with such heart and determination (Lexy scored the team's first goal on Autumn's assist!!). Autumn is #4 in this shot and Lexy has a foot on the ball. They have been so fun to watch.</div>
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And here's Tonio, in the ring, in his second sparring match. He's such a hard worker!!</div>
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I had a neat shot of Cody driving us around Sunday, but our computer is last legging it (another 'by the wayside' example), so I'll have to try to put that one up a different night....</div>
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WAIT!!! Got it!! Between the dilapidated laptop and the dying PC, I managed to cross morgify this photo to Kim's blog!!</div>
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The nice thing about having Cody learn to drive, is, that he wants to go everywhere with us...so he can drive!! It's nice to have his company and he is doing a fantastic job on the road!</div>
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These kids keep me going...</div>
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But, if anyone knows a good/cheap landscaper, to help me catch back up and/or carpenter...and computer wizard...I'm starting to get buried. A bit.</div>
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Today, after my 10 hour shift, I went to get a crown put on. At our new dentist. Our dentist of 20 years, Dr. Jack, has retired. His wife, Jane, had helped us find our first home and referred us to her husband when I needed a crown back in 1994. They were like family to us.</div>
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As I sat in the chair, waiting for our busy new dentist, I lay looking out the large window at a rambling rose bush. Many sparrows darted in and out of the beautiful bush...I got a sense of what Kim tried to describe to me one day, while on the 5th floor of St. Joseph's...after a long night, made more tolerable by the kind visit of RN Kim (Andrea's sister), who works overnight there.</div>
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Kim told me to look out the window. At the trees. And the birds. And to notice the breeze, slightly bending the branches...</div>
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"I love to watch the birds. And to see the mountains." She said to me. "But, I wish I could hear the birds. And feel the breeze. And smell the trees..." </div>
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I sat there, straining to hear the birds at play. And the wind. I could not. Sitting there, I could feel what Kim did - the frustration, desperation...and it reminded me of sitting next to her in the hospital, looking out the window as she enjoyed doing, imagining her straining her ears to be able to hear the slightest bird chirp, or wind through the trees...</div>
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My crown was a challenging one. As I dug deep to ward off the pain and have patience, I asked Kim for help...soon, I noticed that the billowy white clouds, had formed into what appeared to be a large, white dove...and just at that moment, the dentist was successful in removing my temp crown and fitting my new. </div>
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I thanked her.</div>
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When I left his office, I breathed deep the air...and stopped to watch the sparrows and <em>hear </em>them sing, with the majestic Catalina's rising in the background....</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-66125351353666750772013-11-06T21:43:00.001-07:002013-11-06T21:43:39.349-07:003 years<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It's been three years, today (I began writing this post on 10/19, sometimes life gets in the way!), since Kim went into the hospital...diagnosed with a bad gall bladder...and didn't come home. She just didn't. <br />
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It wasn't what we planned. <br />
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"I will probably die tripping over our great grand kids Tonka truck when we are in our 90's" She told me.<br />
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That night, just dragged on and on...From the time I met her at St Joseph's ER around lunch time...til they did xrays, sonograms, blood tests...putting her in a hospital bed in the hall, no rooms available and the man in the bed next to her babbling incoherently...<br />
I cannot describe to you the look in Kimmy's eyes that night...full of concern, pain, wanting. <br />
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She'd always had things under control. And such a great perspective on life, enjoying the moment, never getting too hung up if things didn't work out quite the way she imagined.<br />
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"I'm a plan B person" she'd tell me. That way, no matter what happened, she'd have a happy ending.<br />
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There was no plan B for this.<br />
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Autumn...asks me 'Does it seem weird to you Mama's gone? Cuz it seems weird to me!'<br />
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She's still right here, I tell Aut. Her beauty is in our memories and our dreams.</div>
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'I don't get it Dad...why Mom?'</div>
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There's no 'getting it'. To try to 'get it', is to bring on insanity. I told Autumn that we were blessed with Mama in our lives. I believe these things happen to help us appreciate what we <em>do have.</em></div>
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And this little guy...coming into his own. Always caring for others first. Seen here with his Mama on July 4th 2010....timebomb ignited within...</div>
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I don't think I've ever posted this one. Kim looks spectacular!!! Love the bambini in this one too, Autumn holding my tea, Lil Kim...Tonio's unbridled happiness...Cody, in the 'Joe Cool' shades, flipped back ball cap (and broken collar bone)...<br />
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Oh man...I <strong>DEFINITELY </strong>out ran my punt coverage!!!! </div>
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What have I learned after three years? Grace? Maybe. I'd sure like to go back and have a few 'do overs'. I was a bit of a train wreck. It's as they say, 'you are always the last one to know when you are at your lowest'. How to 'bear my cross'? A little better, perhaps. It's still heavy.</div>
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I don't know. </div>
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Cody comes to me Monday evening, excited. Animated. </div>
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"I got the new Eminem Dad!"</div>
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'But, it's not out until tomorrow...' I begin, stopping myself, since Cody is the master of getting us tunes, why am I asking? He knows. These tunes, they bond us. We get each other like never before. He's become such a young man - I can imagine how proud Kim would be of him...</div>
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...and the driving thing. Well, she didn't want him to drive until he was 18.</div>
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"16 year olds have too much on their minds to drive!" she believed.</div>
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We struck a deal. Maintain A's and B's and he could get it by 17 years old. He's done his share, so last week, we went down to the MVD and signed him up. That place is an adventure in itself. I often wonder if the MVD was created by the folks who brought us Walmart....or the other way around perhaps? The people watching is fabulous, complete with Buddhist monks in full regalia, young men cheating on their permit tests, even taking pictures of the screen! We ended up making three, fun filled trips. Cody failed his first attempt. Studied hard and partnered with Andrea's son, David, to prepare and go the second time. Well, we ended up getting to the MVD at 4:35 only to be told "you have to be here by 4:30 at latest to take a test - you should bring the boys around 3:00." a compassionateless lady informed us. "uh...then I'd have to take them out of school early." I replied. She treated me to a shrug.</div>
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So, that third time, on Halloween, with Breanna in tow for good luck, we tried again...And Cody nailed it!</div>
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Now he is on the road and doing a great job! I always thought it would be Kim doing the teaching when the time came for the kids to drive, as I did not believe my patience could handle such an endeavor...So far so good!</div>
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We continue to honor and remember Kim every day, every chance we get. We went to the Dia de los Muertes celebration downtown on Sunday for the third year in a row. Behind Breanna, Tonio and Autumn, there is a band playing. There was an enormous parade, with floats and people dressed up. On the side of one of the larger buildings, a slide show of loved ones who have passed away was on a continuous loop. The kids liked the huge stage with Aztec dancers and other performers. It was breath taking - the feel was electric.</div>
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And somewhat surreal....another example of it being 'thin' between here and There...</div>
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More and more, as the third year approaches, I am drawn to San Xavier Mission...always lighting candles...and finding comfort in the peaceful surroundings where we were married.</div>
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Three years...these two months, it does come back, unbidden. It was a lifetime ago...yet, it feels like yesterday.</div>
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Each day, I am thankful for all we had. This year, I've run across parents who have lost children, one passing at the tender age of 6 from, you guessed it, cancer. And divorce - I am grateful that Kim and I were in love, never had to face infidelity, falling out of love, separating with children, etc. Of course, there have been other people that I've met this year who lost a spouse - some of them suddenly, with no chance to say goodbye. I am reminded daily, that there is always someone else who has had it worse.</div>
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We continue our nightly ritual of going out back to say goodnight to Kim, blowing kisses to the stars. The bambini like to pop in a movie, to fall asleep to, as Kim used to..."Let's watch a show to fall asleep" she'd say. Invariably, it's a Disney classic that they choose, knowing those were Kim's favorites. Tonight, it's Peter Pan. George and Martha, the parents, reminding me of Kim and I. Me loosing patience with the kids, as George does at the beginning and Kim making everything ok. Wendy reminds me of Autumn. "I kinda feel sorry for Wendy.' Autumn commented tonight. "Why?" "Well, she has so much responsibility, taking care of the boys and all, and she's only 13." Lost upon her is the irony of her comment. She <em>is </em>Wendy! I couldn't tell her at that moment, that she does even more than Wendy for our family. </div>
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The other piece of Peter Pan that brings Kim to mind, is that you need a 'happy thought' to be able to fly. Kim always liked to refocus us with 'Where's your happy thought?' if one of us were down or upset.</div>
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I still go back, revisit those days she was sick and wonder what I could have done differently. And, looking back on the wonderous years we shared together, I still scratch my head and ask myself how I pulled that off. Kim Ardle? I married Kim Ardle?? I <em>married </em>Kim Ardle!</div>
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Seriously.</div>
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"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today."</div>
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-Mother Teresa</div>
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3526308969178670264.post-70196949834353975592013-10-16T01:44:00.000-07:002013-10-16T21:15:18.327-07:00The space between here and There<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Today was one of those days where between here and there was <em>thin.</em><br />
<br />
If you have ever lost someone close to you, you know what I mean.<br />
<br />
In the cool, crisp Autumn air, I could feel Kim this morning, as I ran my circle, taking first Tonio to Cottonwood (and just squeaking in the back gate, as Kim used to say, before the bell rang) and then over to Desert Sky to drop Autumn. Mr. Edwards greeted us curbside, broad smile, hand shake - a reminder of the support Kim had, his wife, Jenna, an RN, ready to assist Kim at home, to nurse her back to health...<br />
When I drop Autumn, before she leaps to the sidewalk, she quickly turns to me, holding a Mary medallion towards my lips...<br />
<br />
"Did you kiss Mary today?" she asks, her brilliant blue eyes searching mine...<br />
<br />
Those eyes....Those eyes, so like her Mama's...but I don't need to tell you that.<br />
<br />
"Do you have to go into work right away Dad?" she asks. She's so worried about the amount of time I put in.<br />
<br />
"No honey, I'm off to Mass at the Mission." I tell her.<br />
<br />
And the concern is gone in a flash - she's lit up like the sun coming over the Rincon Mountains at dawn.<br />
<br />
"Lucky!" She squeals in her best Napoleon Dynamite voice, genuinely excited for me, knowing it's the best way for me to start my day.<br />
<br />
And it can be.<br />
<br />
Today it was. I was compelled to stop in the gift shop, instead of going towards the little history of the Mission museum a few doors down, to get my candles (always one for Kim and a friend). I like to buy them at the museum, because the kind lady who peddles them always shares a 'secret Mission fact' with me. In a conspiratorial way. Like:<br />
<br />
"Those candles you buy? Do you know what they mean?" She looks at me from behind her candle laden counter, smiling.<br />
<br />
"Uh...that I want to light them?" It's early. No caffeine. Yet.<br />
<br />
"The Virgin Mary of Guadalupe and the San Xavier Mission candles are for special intentions. The Father Kino and St. Jude are for the critically ill." <br />
<br />
I'm enlightened....delicately choosing a Mary and a San Xavier. They will work.<br />
<br />
But today, I'm drawn to the gift shop, where they only have the San Xavier candles. Which will work. And further, instead of just getting the candles at the front cashier, I need to go back into the shop, where the crucifixes, statues and biblical books are...I'm drawn...and I see, among the statues of angels...<br />
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<br />
<br />
I buy it, with the notion it is for Autumn...from Kim.<br />
<br />
I take my candles, first to the main church, before Mass begins, up to the altar for Mary. As I pray, thanking the Lord for Kim. And the mother that she was. And the wife that she was. And the best friend too...I felt warm and peace coming over me - as if my prayers were being answered right now. Kim was there.<br />
<br />
Anyone who has ever lost someone close to you. So close. As close as the ocean's waves are to the sands of the beach, intertwined - so close, you cannot separate the two...you know what I mean. I could feel her. So, she was there.<br />
<br />
I finished and headed to the side chapel dedicated to Mary, where Kim's smiling picture patiently waits through the days and the nights. Toni was there, cleaning, always keeping Kimmy up front on the altar. And dusted. I embrace her and tell her - 'Kimmy's here.' She knows. And she fills me with stories, from the reservation.<br />
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I believe that Ivan and Toni, keepers of the Mission, know things. Things that I can only suspect. They are more in touch with their loved ones that have passed before them. They lovingly relate to me stories...and happenings.<br />
<br />
And when they are done..."Hurry, Mass is starting!" Toni urges, breaking the bond.<br />
<br />
The Father tells us it is St Teresa of Avila's Feast Day. He described her life as one of helping others and urged us to walk away with the desire to do the same...Somehow, I'm feeling it's Kim, channeling, reaching out to me, as bits and pieces of our wedding day flash before me...but it's not sadness, or longing, that comes with these memories - but warmth and knowing that the moments that I am reliving were as monumentous to me as any miracle. <br />
<br />
I carry these feelings home with me, delighting in them...and choose to place Autumn's Mary on her desk, where she is sure to find it...<br />
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And I'm right - she texts me a picture of it and asks:<br />
<br />
"What's this from?"<br />
<br />
I'm working late...<br />
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"Mission" I answer.<br />
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"That's pretty!"<br />
<br />
"I'm pretty sure it's from your Mama..."<br />
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"When I saw it, that's what I thought too!!" she exclaimed. "Because it was sitting right next to my journal." She still writes to Kim. Every day. About her day and how we are doing and what we did and who helped us through our day...<br />
<br />
"How's it look?" She needs to know...<br />
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As I wrapped up the busy day, getting home close to midnight, I logged onto email...<br />
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Hey Dad! <br />
You are even sweeter dad! Mom would be so proud of
you. The only reason I'm like this is because you and mom are such great role
models and so caring and giving. Thanks so much for everything dad. :) Hope
you had a great day today dad! Soccer was good but by the time we got home
tonight I felt like I was going to fall over with exhaustion! Soccer for about 2
hours is hard work after a day of school! I hope I'll be ready for the
championship games because I hear we don't get much of a break between games and
they are hard work! well, hope you sleep good! Thanks again for my statue! I
love it! Sweet dreams! Good night, love you. <br />
<br />
<br />
Love,
Autumn<br />
xoxoxoXXooXOoxXooOx ;)<br />
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Subject: Re: Good night!<br />
Date:
Mon, 14 Oct 2013 23:34:56 -0700<br />
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You are sweet Autumn!! I know that you make Mama so proud of you everyday
<img alt="Smile emoticon" src="wlmailhtml:{028458FC-8B9F-48B4-9497-6DBDA6D31E1F}mid://00000011/!x-usc:cid:397AB3D7764B4A66B2FBB1978DD75FAC@StudioOne19" style="float: none; margin: 0px; position: static;" title="Smile emoticon" /> and me too!! Love
you!! Dad</div>
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<b>From:</b> Ciao Bella </div>
<div>
<b>Sent:</b> Monday, October 14, 2013 10:20 PM</div>
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<b>To:</b> Dad</div>
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<b>Subject:</b> Good night!</div>
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Hey Dad! <br />
Hope your day was good even though it was so long. Did
you eat dinner? Hope you did! :) That's not fair though that you had to work
pretty much all day, at least 12 hours! You can't keep doing that Dad! Well, I
hope you get good rest. Love you lots! Sweet dreams, good
night!<br />
<br />
<br />
Love, Autumn</div>
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Autumn gets it. She knows. </div>
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She's so caring and deep like her Mama - brings me to my knees sometimes.</div>
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Some days it's just thinner. Whether it's hummingbirds that linger, clouds that flash pinks/oranges as the day prepares to end or that feeling of warmth and love deep in your heart...</div>
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Today was one of those days....<br />
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Kimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00253291617045071115noreply@blogger.com1