I like to read a lot...mostly non-fiction, history, especially Roman history and the Americas back in the 1400 and 1500's...and religious history...some fiction, here and there to keep it light...Chuck Palahniuk "Fight Club", Charlie Huston "Shotgun Rule", are two of my favorites. At work, people like to leave me 'must read' books...Jaimelyn, one of the managers at Barnes & Noble, has contributed nicely to my collection and always hits the mark.
Recently, one of the books that made the pile was titled "Same Kind of Different as Me" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. I was between books and thought it looked interesting (YES you can judge a book by it's cover, I have learned).
I thought it was fiction, it read so easily...about a white man who grows up poor,marries a white woman, who also grew up poor, but finds a way to make money and becomes rich. And an African American man who grows up poor and is homeless when the couple meets him.
Soon, I came to realize, it was a real story...Although the white couple becomes rich, the wife, Deb, remembers where they came from and thanks God and wants to be more involved in helping others to show her appreciation. Her husband, Ron, goes along with her, mainly to make her happy. But, things change for him when they come across Denver, the homeless man, who he becomes close friends with.
About 3/4 of the way through, Deb becomes ill, unexpectedly...guess what? Cancer. The parallels were incredible...the diagnosis, the treatments, the pain, the horror...I kept asking myself "do I really want to continue this story?"...but I could not put it down.
As she gets sicker, we find out the couple knew each other for 31 years...Kim and I knew each other 33...Kim was so dedicated and involved in our community, like Deb in the story, and initially, I got involved for her - why? I wanted to keep impressing her, even though we were married and Kim always made me feel so secure in our relationship - it was still important to me to impress her. I guess it was all a part of her continuing to clean me up and prepare me, because, along the way, it became just as important to me to give back and to teach the bambini that in order to keep a great community great, you have to be involved - I whole heartedly believe this...thanks to Kim.
Of course, the the story, the treatments are not effective in fighting Deb's cancer - one doctor describes how you can be in the middle of a swarm of hornets and never get bitten...but, stir them up...and look out!! That's how cancer is. Once disturbed, it goes wild...and boy did it ever in Kimmy...
In the story, Deb remains strong and upbeat, right up to the very end. Kimmy. How beautiful she looked, eyes sparkling...smile bright...only her eyebrows gave away her concerns...and, if you ever listen to the songs on the playlist on Kimmy's blog - 'I need a Dr.' ...the voice of Skylar Grey resonates in my head - her angelic voice reminding me of Kimmy singing..."I'm about to lose my mind, you've been gone for so long, I'm running out of time. I need a Dr., send me a Dr. - to bring me back to life..." Damnation.
And now, I'm nearing the end of the book...I literally can read one page a time, before breaking down and having to put it down...but it's an amazing story - I nearly feel I lived it.
And it prompted me to pick up my Bible and look up a paragraph in Proverbs IX The Ideal Wife. "When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize. She brings him good, and not evil (in my case, she turned me from evil) all the days of her life. She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs at the days to come. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her toungue is kindly counsel. Her children rise up and praise her; her husband too, extols her: "Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all". Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates." Amazing. I don't recall ever having read this verse or heard about it before today - but it sure gripped me. The Ideal Wife describes Kim, perfectly...but doesn't quite capture her glowing essence fully...
I wrote an article back in March for a website, about our experience and this book prompted me to revisit that article...again, the parallels were eerie...
Tonight, we went out to see Brendon play some playoff baseball (Rangers advanced to the finals after a strong 6-1 victory tonight!!). As I was talking to Mario and watching the game, a man stopped and asked me when the championships were to be held. Saturday at 5:30 I told him. He asked who the match up was with. Cardinals I told him. He asked where I went to high school. Liberty, class of '83, I answered. He looked perplexed and I told him I moved here 18 years ago from Bethlehem. He said he went to Santa Rita, class of '82. I pointed out Mario, Andrea, Janene, Kim and Rashon and told him they all are Santa Rita grads, but that they were much, much younger than him. He laughed and commented that my hair was much grayer than his...then, he told me he was battling cancer, pointing to scars on his neck. "What do Italians call this type of scar?" "Smile" I told him..."Yeah, that's it" and he detailed his progression, treatments, surgeries...and how his children, one of whom plays on Brendon's team, were not doing well. I briefly told him what happened to us, pointed out the bambini and told him we'd include him in our prayers...he thanked me and said he'd see me Saturday for the game...
Books like Same Kind of Different as Me, and interactions with folks like the man I met tonight, help clarify what I'm left here to do...
If you get a chance, look that book up...it made my 'must read' pile, and proved to really be a 'must read'!
Tonight, Lexy and Hadley are having a sleep over with Autumn...the girls are going strong - it's 11:30 p.m. and they are playing Mario Kart on Wii. Tonio and I are going to watch a movie together...And Cody, he's sleeping at his buddy, Wyatt's house tonight...I just texted him to see if he was settled in for the night and told him I loved him and he hit me right back saying 'Love you to Dad, Night!'...I am blessed...
Love,
Dave