Klimb 4 Kim 4

                         Klimb 4 Kim 4.  Klimb 4 Kim FOUR.....FOUR?!?!?!  Did I actually participate in Klimb 4 Kim 1, 2 AND 3?!?!?!

                         Sometime in the middle of the first week of February, the thought occurred to me "I wonder when the Cancer walk is scheduled this year."  I googled it and my heart was immediately warmed to see the date; 3/1.  Kim's birthday!!!  How very appropriate!!!
                          BUT according to my limited math skills, that was in about 3 1/2 weeks!!! 
      
                          It was 'fun' putting together the flyer and the poster.  I spent about 6 hours working on the Print Shop software Kim had installed on our PC.  Wait a minute.  Working?  Struggling.  Before the PC crashed.
                          Whenever I am computer challenged, which is often, I call Ami for help....in an excruciatingly short time, Ami sent this:

 

Perfect! 

She posted it on the Facebook for me and on Kim's blog.

 

 

Ami wasn't done yet...she created this one for posters!!

 

 

 

I hastily sent out texts, emails and FB messages...

 

Andrea's cousin Jack, artist who created the beautiful shirts for previous walks, asked 'what about shirts?'  I let him know that I thought it was too late.  I had waited too late this year.  I just wanted him and Sandy to come down from Phoenix to join us.

 

Jack insisted.  "What do the kids want on it this year?"  He puts such a personal touch on these shirts.  His creativity and inspiration fueled by Kim - he's told me that it's important to him that the bambini choose what's on the shirt.  Something that reminds them of their Mama.  And he adds colors/sunsets that remind him of Kim, that capture her essence..

"I love a challenge" Jack told me.

 

                                 The kids were in awe when I showed them the design Jack had come up with...

                                                            "Wooowwwww..." was the best they could come up with.  If I could take a picture of their faces...or, a video, to show the range of emotions that play out.  They are always amazed at Jack's ability to capture their Mama and their appreciation for what he does is beyond their words...

 

 

 

(Carson, Jaimelyn, Autumn, Tonio, Kim, Andrea, Lexy. Jackie, Bobbi, Cody, Alyssa, Annette, Me, Shannon, Jack, Krista, Scott, Jason, Emily (Tonio's teacher this year!), Dawn, Shawn, AnnMarie, and Kirk) Angie, Sandy and Micah road the bus, and we missed them for this shot!

 

I am always humbled by the amount of people who remember Kim on walk day...it sounds corny, but it warms my heart.  This year was especially challenging.  Our first day of rain this year.  Every day leading up was sunny.  The day after the walk was perfect. 

But, the forecast, this day, was 90% chance of rain. 

One of the faithful walkers, a teacher at Cottonwood Elementary School, Pam, told me Friday, when I picked up Tonio, 'Don't worry Dave, it won't rain until afternoon.

Just in case, I tell the kids - LAYER - just in case!  Walk shirts, covered by long sleever, concealed by jacket.  With hat.

But it's a push to get out of the house.  After all, I had admonished everyone to be there by '8ish'.  Promptly.

We did begin, beneath a steely grey sky, around 8:15 or so, a good time to go.  I had texted out 'It looks like we will beat this rain!'

I was telling Angie, as we neared the base of the mountain, the worst year we ever walked, was back in '04 - walking in memory of Kim's Dad.  We had about 12 walkers from Linen's 'N Things, where I was managing, and the rain was coming sideways from the start.  And it was near freezing temps.  We made it near the base, before saying we had given it our best.

When we approached that point, I said to Angie 'we made it to about here.'...and the Heaven's unleashed!!!

"Oh my gosh!" Angie exclaimed, as if I had conjured up the rain.

 

Well, remember that I had coached the Bambini on proper dress attire?  I look to Autumn, who was wearing a hat and jacket....to Tonio...Short. Sleeve. Walk shirt.  Dammit.  I quickly put my long sleeve shirt on him, as I noticed Lexy with no coat and wrapped her in my jacket.  I searched for Cody...short sleeve walk shirt too.  Bad Dad.

The rains on the south facing side of the mountain were driving, pelting our exposed arms, as we hustled to the top.

 

"Are we taking a group shot this year?" Andrea quipped...we managed to pull it together long enough to snap one.

 

The bambini, with their friend Alyssa, still wanted to climb the gianormous A.  Carson, son of Bobbi and Jason Mayeux, Tonio's principal, is halfway up!

 

The rain did stop, and we were able to walk back down, taking the scenic path through the dessert.

 

We did it in record time this year!!

 

One of my favorite things about this core group of walkers that have been there with us year in and year out, are the stories that they offer up about Kim along the way.  It's like a walking eulogy.  I love it.

 

As has become a tradition, we converged on the Mariscos Chihuahua, a Mexican seafood restaurant not far from where the walk ends.  22 of us showed up this year - the most since we've walked in Kim's memory.

Every time we would pass by this Mariscos, I would tell Kim "take me there for my birthday'.  I always loved the paintings of the waves on the outside.  Inside, it's like being beneath the sea.  There is a huge marlin, rock formations (Tonio spotted a likeness of Jesus carved in one), fish, sea kelp - it's beautiful.  The food is tremendous (I feel like I am doing an infomercial!).  It's just nice to keep the spirit of the walk going, share a meal and talk about the day's event.

 

 

(Emilio, Mary, Kinsley and Brinley)

 

The Montes family made the trek from the eastside on this rainy day to join us, resplendent in their walk shirts! 

 

It was so fun!  And to honor and remember Kim on her birthday was wonderful.  We had a lot of first time walkers too!  Andrea's cousin Shannon, who drove down from Phoenix.  Cottonwood Elementary teachers, Jackie, Krista and Tonio's teacher, Emily.  From Barnes & Noble, Jaimelyn brought Dan for the walk (he took the group photo for us at the top!).  Again, I am so thankful for this event and the time to spend with these people.

It continued to rain, into the night.  I took the bambini up to the DeGrazia Gallery, a Kim favorite.  There was a book signing for a bio on Ettore DeGrazia that had just come out (I sold 18 copies the Friday before the walk!).  We met the authors, who signed our book and talked to the kids.  I finally got to introduce them to Lisa, the manager there (the one who permanently put Kim's photo on the altar in the chapel DeGrazia built) and we lit candles (I realize we do this weekly, in various places, but we had to today for Kim's bday!!)

 

 

Tonio and Autumn solemnly, reverently, light their candles....

 

And a sunflower for Kim...one of her favorites!!

 

Happy Birthday Kimmy!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still one of my favorite birthday shots - Cody (about 4), Kim, Andrea, Lexy (1ish) and Autumn (1ish).

 

Leading up to Kim's birthday....well, the bambini - I tell them; when you are faced with a decision.  A choice.  Any decision or choice.  Think about what your Mama would do.  What would make her proud?

 

Here's one of the things Tonio was absolutely insistent we take care of - touching up the memorial in the middle of Fantasy Island. 

"When do you think we could go Dad?" he'd persist, literally, each day. 

'I will not go into Fantasy Island' Autumn informed us, inciting her brother's immediate ire.

 

"WHY?"

 

"I already escaped harm and death there several times." she calmly explained to them, as if they were kindergartners (no offense Ami and Mary, but you know my boys! ; ) )  She deftly describes the time I had to carry Cody's bike out after his rear rim bent and would not turn.  The time we got caught by darkness, her and Cody speeding ahead, racing the daylight - Autumn vomiting when they made it to safety, as she was worried for Tonio and me.  Calm, Cool Hand Luke, Tonio, turning to me as darkness fell and a coyote stopped on the path ahead of us, as if to size us up, flipping on his bike light...."Will this help?", he asked as the beam of the light lit up our path like a large tiki torch.  Oh, and the cow, no bull! that we saw just scant feet from our trail, threatening to impale us..."I. Am. Done."  She repeats for emphasis.

 

 

Cody does the honors of darkening the lettering and we all re-sign our names.

Moments after we sign, Cody is gone - racing off to more technical corners of Fantasy Island. Tonio and I cannot hope to keep up...

 

Tonio actually kept up an amazing speed - his fastest time ever!  But, I did almost lose him twice.  To creosote bushes, thankfully not jumping cholla, which reach out at every turn.  He literally ran through a huge creosote, which sucked hold of his front tire midway through, sending him flying, Superman style, over the handlebars and depositing him in the dead center of the bike trail - a classic belly flop, driving the very air from his lungs and leaving him speechless.

 

I shouted his name, grabbing him, picking him up and simultaneously dusting him off (as if that would help)...He began giggling "Did you see that Dad???"  Uh, yeh son, you just chopped off 6.5 years of my life....

 

 

 

 

 

And then there is my way of honoring Kim...ink.  Immediate reminders.  Kim was my balancer, so I need to 'write' reminders on me in the way we used to write phone numbers on our hands with pens.

 

To make it even more special, I ask Cody to make the prelim design for me.  He is taking Computer Graphics (Kim's major at Kutztown U!) and acing it!!  He got right to work and nailed it on the first try!!

 

My tat artist, at Tattoo Artistry, Country Club and Pima (yes, a shameless plug), Dave Williams.  Now, I've told this story a billion times, but, just in case, I hired Dave at Toys R Us several centuries ago.  He was about 16 and had that natural ability to excel at video games and gaming systems that seems inherent in our youth.  He quickly became master of our electronics department. 

Over the five plus years that we worked together, I noticed that Dave had an extraordinary artistic talent.  One day I asked what he wanted to do with all of that talent - "Open a tattoo parlor" he told me. 

Well, Dave was great to work with - knowledgeable, great with customers and coworkers, big heart, etc - I told him when I was ready for a tat, I'd look him up.

Kim and I always talked about getting matching tattoos with a symbol for 'forever', but never got around to it...

And, it other 'small town' news, Cody's kinder teacher and flyer creator, Ami, used to babysit Dave along with her sister Mary (Aut and Tonio's kinder teach cuz Ami fled to the distant planet of Phoenix. Briefly.),  Their families are very close - in fact, I've had an opportunity to meet and have dinner with Dave's Mom!  So, he is the perfect person to entrust serious artwork, in Kim's honor, in the form of tattoos.  He is so incredibly talented!!

 

 

For me, most definetly, the hardest part of getting a tattoo, is, that I drink so much iced tea, and let's face it, I'm getting old, and have to hit the men's room often!!!

 

So here it is.  St Jude.  Patron Saint of lost causes.  Yes, I've been the lost cause.  Most of you did not know me before Kim came along and cleaned me up.  Saved me.  However, you've seen the zig zag pattern I've left across the landscape over the last 3 and a half years since Kim left me.  So, you know this is appropriate.  Right?

 

 

The backside of my right calf.  The shaded areas typically hurt the most, but, recently, Dave studied with a tat artist from Sweden and learned a new technique that does not hurt as bad, but the detail looks great.  I was the second person he has applied this new found knowledge on and let me tell you, it is the best!

 

The white dove...Cody added it to symbolize Kim...

 

 

Finally, as we were driving sometime after the walk...

 

 

 

 

Kim sent us a little 'thank you'  ; )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

          

Boxing Inc

                     Antonio continues to be the boxer of the family...He has been involved in 5 sparring matches now.  He has his own mouthpiece.  And a new sense of confidence.


                   

(Tonio in white)

                                           Tonio, in white, prepares to unleash a right hook.

                     In his first match, Antonio would throw punches from a very safe distance.  Usually coming to a completion a good four inches from his oppenent's head.  I would ask him, why doesn't he connect?  He told me that he didn't want to actually hurt anyone. He also backed away and ran a little bit... I let him know that with the size of the gloves they are wearing and protetctive head gear, he wouldn't have to worry about that.





                     Over the next few sparring matches, Antonio gained confidence and began connecting. I told him the story of Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini, famous Olympic boxer and champ at the age of 21 back in the '80's' from Youngstown, Ohio.  He never backed up during his fights.  Since I told him that story, neither has Antonio!!

 

 

                      He trains hard...

 

And makes time to kiss babies (Mary's daughter Kinsley!).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Tonio in white. He always wears white.  I tell him 'Tonio, you can choose any color shirt you want.  It does not have to be white.'  And yet....) 

 

 

He is a relentles student of the ring.  At first, it hurt his feelings when I would tell him to watch another boxer, to see their technique, their footwork, or when he'd come out of the ring and I'd say 'here's what you did well, here's what you have to work on.'  He took it as a personal failure, so hard on himself!  I had to explain to him that that is the best way to learn - to never think he knew it all - watch...and learn.  Now, he leans against the ring, pointing things out to me.  And the moment he is out of the ring, after telling his oppenent 'Good fight!' He will hustle over and ask what I thought.

 

One of his teachers at Cottonwood, Ashley, is an instructor at Boxing Inc and has taught Antonio so much.  She recently tied a rope from one end of the training area to the other side and had Antonio manuever, in fight stance, the length of the rope, ducking and rolling to get beneath, taking a step forward and then ducking back to the other side.

 

Last week, while fighting an oppenent taller and defininetly heftier than him, Antonio found himself taking a bit of a beating.  I called out 'duck and roll Tonio!'  And he began doing it with ease, as if he was merely transgressing the length of rope that Ashley had taught him on a week before.  In fact, his oppenent became so frustrated with Tonio's 'Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee' approach, ala Muhammed Ali, that he resorted to pushing Antonio!!

 

Oops!  I never could get the video to upload, sorry.  I am going to try to tape a short segment of his next fight and post it up.  Okay?   

 

 

 

Pretty proud of this guy!  He's still a teddy bear, who misses his Mama and struggles with what happened to him in the aftermath - but, he's a fighter, a learner and has such a big heart!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

And at the end of the day, he just wants to snuggle with his puppy Bella....

 

 

Time in a Bottle

                         We've been getting ready for a yard sale.  The garage is ripe.  So much has been collected.  We've cleaned nearly every closet, armoire, Kim's 'basement' under the bed, and drawer.  

                         The only place left?  The 'attic' above the garage where we typically keep only holiday decorations. 

 

                        There was a lot of sports memorabilia mixed in...A 24" talking Michael Jordan from the movie 'Space Jam' (now, if you haven't seen this one, you MUST!!  Even has Bill Murray in it!!), a set of KISS action figures, still intact in package.  A box of Cal Ripken Wheaties. Unopened.  And a Sports Illustrated from 1997 with Miles Simon on the cover, the year that the University of Arizona won the NCAA basketball championship!! 
                        An over sized Gumby that the bambini immediately grabbed and ran to hide somewhere in the house.  A tradition started at Linens 'N Things that my employees there started and shared with my kids.  They loved roaming that store searching for Gumby...and now, they love going there even more, since they turned the building into a Peter Piper Pizza when Linens went out of business.
                       A basket of Kim's jewelry caught Autumn's eye.  Turquoise necklace and bracelet set from Second Mesa, the Navajo Indian reservation up north. Pearl earrings.  A ring made from a spoon that my Dad had created for her....and an Eeyore charm dangling from a sterling silver chain.  I had gotten Kim it in Disney World back in 1989.
                      My 11th grade report card..."DAD!!! You got a lot of C's and D's!!" Autumn squealed (straight A's in typing class, neatly offset straight F's in citizenship).  Mexican style picture frames - punched silver.  I have been looking for new ones to hang in our hallway.  Her college text books and a box of well loved pastels.
                     A bottle of Tanqueray...Kim had given me for our first anniversary of dating...She wrote me a message on the label...There were a bunch of old videos we had taken of Cody and Autumn when they were babies.  They have spent hours watching all of them.  So neat to see them huddled together on my bed (we have an old VHSDVD combo unit Kim had invested in many years ago), laughing, asking questions, and sitting, staring at our past. It is all so surreal...I lived a blessed life!
                     
                      And a tub of photographs....

 

play while you look into the past... 

                                      We must have been about 19 years old or so in this one!!  Once again, Kim appears to be delighted by whatever bs is coming out of my mouth.  She always made me feel like I was the funniest, handsomest, most interesting guy in the room - even though I wasn't!!!

 

We once traveled to a distant country called 'Oklahoma' to visit my sister Sherri. They once had a huge dust storm that caused folks to move away.  I am told they now have a professional basketball team there!  We went to a barbecue place with Sherri, Anthony, me, Natalie and Kim - such a sharp jacket Kim wore!! 

 

    Snow Bunny.  Kim gives all new meaning to this term.  Taught her how to ski at Breckenridge...the mountains were breathtaking....as was Kim.

                                      

                             That smile...so radiant.  A very wee Cajun, just a few months old.  That dress was one of my all time favorites...certainly Old Tucson was a favorite hangout of ours - season ticket holders until it burned down.  When they rebuilt, it was never quite the same...

 

Another photo of Kimmy at Old Tucson...the hint of a smile, arms behind the back, legs lightly crossed, hair over one shoulder...amazing...

 

 

 

 

                 Have no doubts.  Kim was mighty.  Stronger than her delicate beauty portrayed. Here, she out does Rocky, in center city Philly, by decking a fire hydrant near the art museum where Rocky ran up the stairs.  We always raced up the steps...one of the few things I could beat Kimmy at!

 

The south was gripped by a cold front when we moved from PA to AZ.  We didn't get out of the cold until we left NM and got into AZ.  I believe this is in Arkansas, Kim putting on her best redneck for the pic.  We did not eat there, choosing 'Slick Willie's' instead, homage to then president Clinton.  The motto was 'we can tax your food but not your taste buds'.  They lied.  Note the price of gas back then!!!

 

                    Kim, majestic on high, up at Windy Point on Mt Lemmon.  Her trusty dog, Cajun, at her side...


                  And this one, the gem of them all...

 

 

Kim in her 'Footy Pajamas'.  I got them for her for Christmas, '89.  She was so proud of them - she always wanted a pair.  This is New Year's Eve that year.  We'd always find a hotel that had some sort of band or party and get a room there - it was so fun!!  Again, I am paralyzed by that shining smile...and those eyes...

 

She truly loved me unconditionally.

 

It was an amazing find and the bambini were jittery with excitement as they took it all in...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

             

Buon Natale

Christmas Season...upon us again?!?!?!

 

The feast of the seven fishes.  An Italian tradition.  Kim's version was cioppino.  The bambini worked her magic today, whipping up an invariable feast!!!  Scallops (Kim's favorites!), calamari (yes, squid!  It's the real chicken of the sea!), mussles (Kim and I farmed these from the jettis in Jersey), clams (our favorite order at Stahley's bar in Allentown, PA - $2.95/dozen), shrimp, tilapia and cod.

 

Tree decorated, awaiting Santa!

 

Cody, such a big helper and the glue to our family, applies the reindeer tracks...always amazes Antonio!!  Powdered sugar!  Cody made the stencil out of a manila folder!

 

 

DeGrazia chapel.  North on Swan from Skyline.  Kim's photo was inshrined their perpetually on Sunday.  They came across her blog.  Learned of her love of the DeGrazia gallery and his works and her talent for art....Lisa, the gallery manager asked me to bring Kim's photo for their altar.

 

I had placed her there once before, about two years ago.  Lisa told me that hey have to collect items frequently, as there are so many.  They bury them there on the grounds.  Kim would have been pleased.  But now, she is there forever!!!!

 

Autumn...at her awards ceremony...4.0 Principal's award!! With Micah Mortensen, Desert Sky Middle School's principal.  He takes such good care of her and his students.  She also won a citinzenship award and techonolgy award!!

 

Tonio...his fourth sparring match...he's doing well.  Such a joy to watch him work in the ring!

 

Our Christmas angel that we added for the holidays...for Kim...

 

 

                                The bambini hang angels in our front yard olive tree for Kim...


                               Wishing you and your family a blessed and very Merry Christmas!!!






 

From Storms Come Rainbows

                           "From storms come rainbows..."  One of the first messages I received today...One that kept me going all day long - counting all of the rainbows!!

                             I couldn't do it without these words of inspiration.  I couldn't.

                             Three years have passed in a blink of an eye.  Kim's bathrobe still doesn't get it.  It hangs, right where it always had, ready to go.  And the time doesn't lessen the pain, but with time, comes clarity - giving daily life coherence...and order.  We don't have a 'routine', but life isn't a 'routine', so we don't try to impose boundaries where they don't belong.  But, whoever said 'Time heals all wounds' was a liar.  Or had no heart.  Or, sadly, never had anyone like Kim in their lives!
      
                            We were able to spend the day celebrating Kim with friends.  It was a beautiful day...and her 5th Annual (yes, 5th!! She thought up, planned and ran the first two and planned the 3rd, but got sick and passed before the actual event!) Pancake breakfast is tomorrow morning already!!

 

 

A friend of ours that we met in 7th grade sent me this video - listen closely...the bambini stood stock still, ears cocked, eyes locked on the screen....and then nodded in agreement...

 

 

 

 

Autumn, one of my 'Rainbows'!!

 

Good night Kimmy....

...my Angel

 

 

The Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe

                On this day, three years ago, I spent praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe for a miracle.

Official Catholic accounts state that on the morning of December 9, 1531, Juan Diego saw an apparition of a young girl at the Hill of Tepeyac, near Mexico City. Speaking to him in Nahuatl, the girl asked that a church be built at that site in her honor; from her words, Juan Diego recognized the girl as the Virgin Mary. Diego told his story to the Spanish Archbishop of Mexico City, Fray Juan de Zumárraga, who instructed him to return to Tepeyac Hill, and ask the "lady" for a miraculous sign to prove her identity. The first sign was the Virgin healing Juan's uncle. The Virgin told Juan Diego to gather flowers from the top of Tepeyac Hill. Although December was very late in the growing season for flowers to bloom, Juan Diego found Castilian roses, not native to Mexico, on the normally barren hilltop. The Virgin arranged these in his peasant cloak or tilma. When Juan Diego opened his cloak before Bishop Zumárraga on December 12, the flowers fell to the floor, and on the fabric was the image of the Virgin of Guadalupe.^[1]

             Miracles.    I needed one...

            ...and what I've found out, is that I did have one!  Kim was MY miracle!!!!  How could I have been more blessed??

            When I was young and dumb - Kim found me, cleaned me up and taught me to appreciate all that we had and all that was around me. 

            Without her in my life....well, let's just say that I understand that Kim was my chance at something else...

Hope you had a blessed Our Lady of Guadalupe Feast Day!!!

         

Counting Stars

              Sometimes I can't remember....

              ....I hear a song, and look for the memories attached...

              ....or drive down a street and find a time that we did together...

              The drive interrupted by a new business.  Or road improvements.  Or new homes.

              And my mind drifts - this song...?  Did Kim hear this one?  Was she here when this group put this out?  Lately, it's One Republic.  Or Train.  Any of her favorites.  When I hear them, I think that it was one of Kim's songs and wait for where we were when we first heard it together.  When nothing comes, I think 'Kim would have liked this tune'...

 

 

 

 

              Here's another one - convenience stores.  Yes, gas stations with mini markets!  When we lived in Pennsylvania, it seemed 7-11 was dominant.  And we loved the Slurpees.  I liked the collectible cups that they would put out.  The 1988 men's Olympic Basketball team was one of my favorite.  I had accumulated a trunk full of them.  Our cabinets were stuffed with them.

              "Dave?"  Kim would begin.  Gently.  "Maybe we could get rid of some of the older cups? To make room?"   "But they are perfect size for iced tea!"  I'd appeal.  I think I still have a Michael Jordan cup somewhere!

              When we moved here, Circle K was like 7-11 on steroids.  We loved the drink selection.  And chili jalapeno hot dogs!?!?!?  We probably went to a Circle K every other day.  And, I'm convinced, we were at every Circle K in Tucson over the time that we lived here!

              Now there is QT.  I'm sure that Kim had never been.  And I know that she would have loved them!  Fresh brewed iced tea!  At a convenience store!?!?!  And in several flavors, including mango, my current favorite and Kim loved all things mango.  The newer QT's feature a snack bar that have fantastic soft pretzels and real cappuccino!

 

             The employees great you as you enter.  And, after checking out, they say 'See you next time!'.  The bambini love it.  Cody has discovered their make-your-own milk shake machine and turned Tonio into a fan.  Autumn like's the selection of bottled lemonade.  They have the Tapatio/Lime potato chips that Breanna got me hooked on.

            Crazy, eh?

            But when I'm driving around, not really thinking about anything...these things come up.

            Road improvements...Houghton corridor widening project.  A running joke between Kim and I.  On the books when we moved here in 1994.  We'd often comment that if only they had begun before they built the Civano, then Mesquite Ranch, the Desert Willow Estates (our development), then Sierra Morado - it would have been a much quicker, easier and less expensive project, since it was only desert on both sides of the road.  The project runs approximately 10 miles from Houghton and I-10 on the southern end of the project to Tanque Verde and Houghton on the north end. She would have gotten a  chuckle and found irony in the city deciding to start the project, seemingly randomly, in the not quite middle between Valencia and Irvington 
       
           There is no doubt that Kim had a great appreciation for life and the experiences that we shared.  She lived each day to the fullest, no regrets.  Yet...as I witness 'progress' and change, I wonder what experience they would have brought to us.  Or, in some cases, I struggle to remember if maybe we had some shared memories in what I was passing or seeing.

          Movies are another.  When we watch a movie together on Netflix, or on t.v., I think "Kim and I saw this...or did we?" 

          It has become almost a game with me, trying to decipher WK (With Kim) and AK (After Kim).

 

ESCAPE!!

 

Bisbee, AZ

 

 

 

Best friends!!  Brinley and Tonio building castles..

 

 
                                           More Best Friends!  Monsi and Tonio ride coaster at Peter Piper Pizza!!

 

 

Cody trips the Merry-Go-Round!

 

 

The bambini continue to fill my days...so thankful for them, so blessed to have them.

 

 Cuz when I was a kid, there were these inflatable guys called 'bop bags'.  Sometimes they were clowns, like Bozo. Sometimes you could find them as super heroes like Batman.  Or Scooby Doo.  They were almost pear shaped and the bottom has some sort of sand or something to make it heavier.

 

You could punch it.

 

And it would bounce back up.

 

You could kick it.

 

And it would bounce back up.

 

You could karate chop it.

 

And, you guessed it, it would bounce back up....

  

Feast Day of Juan Diego

I don't know where to begin today...so, since it was the feast day of St. Juan Diego, I thought I'd share his story - perhaps my favorite?  Kim and I wanted to make it down to Mexico, to see this church...

Juan Diego was born in 1474 in the calpulli or ward of Tlayacac in Cuauhtitlan, which was established in 1168 by Nahua tribesmen and conquered by the Aztec lord Axayacatl in 1467; and was located 20 kilometers (14 miles) north of Tenochtitlan (Mexico City).

On December 9, 1531, a native Mexican named Juan Diego rose before dawn to walk fifteen miles to daily Mass in what is now Mexico City. Juan lived a simple life as a weaver, farmer, and laborer. That morning, as Juan passed Tepeyac Hill, he heard music and saw a glowing cloud encircled by a rainbow. A woman's voice called him to the top of the hill. There he saw a beautiful young woman dressed like an Aztec princess. She said she was the Virgin Mary and asked Juan to tell the bishop to build a church on that site. She said, "I vividly desire that a church be built on this site, so that in it I can be present and give my love, compassion, help, and defense, for I am your most devoted mother . . . to hear your laments and to remedy all your miseries, pains, and sufferings."

The bishop was kind but skeptical. He asked Juan to bring proof of the Lady's identity. Before Juan could go back to the Lady, he found out his uncle was dying. Hurrying to get a priest, Juan missed his meeting with the Lady. The Lady, however, met him on his path and told him that his uncle had been cured.  

She then told Juan to climb to the top of the hill where they first met. Juan was shocked to find flowers growing in the frozen soil. He gathered them in his cloak and took them at once to the bishop.

Juan told the bishop what had happened and opened his cloak. The flowers that fell to the ground were Castilian roses (which were not grown in Mexico). But the bishop's eyes were on the glowing image of the Lady imprinted inside Juan's cloak.

Soon after, a church was built on the site where our Lady appeared, and thousands converted to Christianity. Our Lady of Guadalupe was declared the patroness of the Americas.

   And now to Autumn, once again, who I'm so proud of, but worry about the most.  She puts so much on herself.  Taking care of the boys and I. And maintaining straight A's.  As I made her soup for her lunch at midnight, Cody came to me concerned.  I explained Autumn's stomach has been sensitive - stress?  Probably.  He asked me not to stay up to late.  He's such a good son - I'm pretty proud of him too.
  Autumn tells me she does not want to see a doctor.  I tell her she's known her doctor for years and the group we go to - they are all so nice.  "No Dad, what if they send me to the hospital?" she says quietly, tears welling up....

                  "Like Mama?"

      I'm a little too floored to respond immediately.

      "Play 'Headlights' Dad." she asks, those deep blue eyes, like magnets, searching my eyes. "Has a song ever given you goosebumps?  This one gives me them." 
       Well, I can think of a bunch - with wonderful memories related to Kim and the times we shared, so I tell her absolutely, that's what I love so much about music - finding the tunes that grab you, take you somewhere else.
       Her Mama like a band called Fun.  And the lead singer, Nate Ruess, collaborates with Eminem on this tune:

    
           I always love when the bambini tell me which songs speak to them.  Cody always does.  This is a good one, particularly the end - I know it reminds her of her Mama - if you listen to the final refrain, it will remind you of Kim too.  She was so stoic, right up to the end.  It was me who broke down, holding her tight, crying. And there was Kim, consoling me, asking me to give her a kiss, everything would be alright.  She was not afraid.  She had her faith.

         She has passed on that strength - it was not for nothing.  I know that I was blessed to have had her in my life.  And the children she brought into this world...amazing!

"Those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."
                                       -Isaiah 40:31

5 Days

                 5 Days.  A great drinking game, perhaps.  'if you knew you only had 5 days to live, how would you spend them?'  Or 'what would you do?'  or any number of scenarios....

                  Kim knew.  She would spend them with friends and family.  She would give us all peace.  And a sense of hope.  Set our minds at ease and giving us memories to last a lifetime.   The poise she had...amazing.

                   That was Kim.

                   Coming home from the hospital, we were elated.  There were banners hung from our garage.  A chalka Estrada (sidewalk chalk) display on our driveway.  Our friends, and Arizona family, were here to visit, cook, and enjoy Kim's smiles and kind words.

             

                  Today, at Mass, I remembered all of this...as if it was right now.  Kim, with such dignity, providing all of us with smiles, all the while knowing what lie in store for her.  Getting ready to give us the best 5 days of the last 50 days.  Remarkable.

                  This weekend, I was thankful.  One of my friends, facing tough circumstances and putting forth a great effort and attitude.  Leaving me feel very thankful for those 5 days of peace and hope that I shared with Kim.

                  I am even more appreciative of the time I was blessed to have with Kim, when I compare my situation to that of others.

                  I could have had infidelity in our marriage.  We did not.

                  I could have lost Kim suddenly, in a car crash or violent crime, but did not.
                 
                  I could have Kim, as an ex, hating me, not loving me....

                  ....but I do not.

                 

 

Here we are, on Thanksgiving, enjoying a family breakfast...the bambini have been like concrete!

 

Those 5 days...an absolute gift from Kim.

 

 

"I cried because I had no shoes...until I saw the man that had no feet"

 

 

 

 

Kim's 5th annual Pancake Breakfast and 5K is this Saturday.  She thought up this idea.  She planned and ran the first two events, complete with classic car show.  She had planned the third event, when she was stricken with cancer...the 3rd event was held just days after she passed.  Rincon Vista Middle School has been so kind, thoughtful and generous to keep Kim's vision alive and apply her name to this fun event.  This Saturday is the 5th Kim Pancake Breakfast.  5th. 

 

The bambini and I would appreciate if you could find a way, in the midst of your busy lives, to attend this event.  All Kim wanted to do was give back.  To a community she loved.  Please honor her this Saturday, a day after the 3 year anniversary of her gaining her wings and becoming an Angel...We'd love to see you there!!!