Miscellaneous...I find that a lot of events and photos have not quite evolved into full blown blogs...while others, are still in the works and I just haven't had the time to bring them fully alive. It's been a good week - not that I know what day it is today, but, that we have had 6 or 7 pretty good days.
I can see Antonio coming back...He's been the slowest to rebound. Requiring every ounce of energy I have and attention. Thank you to all of you who have helped prop him up and given him random hugs to make him feel whole. He is so deep and thoughtful - each night, wishing his Mama a good night in Heaven and telling her that he hopes she is enjoying it there. Each day, visiting her garden at school and tending to it lovingly. He has certainly had his ups and his downs - but, I've noticed, more of that sweet, happy, lovable boy shining through of late.
What haunts me most about Tonio, is, that night I had to tell him that we were losing his Mama. I remember the chaplain at St. Joseph's, Wendy, shepherding us into a private sitting room off of that horror show of a surgery waiting room on the third floor of St. Joseph's. Leaving behind the comfort of our southwest family and friends. It had that dream like quality of being neither real nor an illusion. And I thought, how can I do this? Kim was always the one to help the bambini through emotional problems and tough situations. But I needed to be the one...
When I explained the situation to the bambini, there was dead silence. Like that eerie calm before a major storm hits...and then, it sank in. The meaning reaching down into their souls, tearing their little hearts out.
But what comes to me in mydreams nightmares most vividly, is Tonio's reaction.
He stands in the middle of the room, dawning realization removing the smile from his loving face slowly, like a wave receding down the sand on the beach...going paler and paler.
His actions seared into my memory... I can't write about the rest...
...Anyway, he has found his way - becoming so helpful and even more loving and caring than ever...I feel so blessed to have him (and Cody and Autumn of course - but, being that Tonio was the most lost, it is a relief to see him smile more and more!).
Tonio, Autumn and Brinley at Peter Piper Pizza with their kindergarten teacher, Mary Montes.
Fighting off boa's at the Reid Park Zoo with great friend Breanna
It seems like Tonio has found his way - his good friends and family have helped him find his smile and he is regaining his confidence...And he makes me smile and laugh every day!!
I can see Antonio coming back...He's been the slowest to rebound. Requiring every ounce of energy I have and attention. Thank you to all of you who have helped prop him up and given him random hugs to make him feel whole. He is so deep and thoughtful - each night, wishing his Mama a good night in Heaven and telling her that he hopes she is enjoying it there. Each day, visiting her garden at school and tending to it lovingly. He has certainly had his ups and his downs - but, I've noticed, more of that sweet, happy, lovable boy shining through of late.
What haunts me most about Tonio, is, that night I had to tell him that we were losing his Mama. I remember the chaplain at St. Joseph's, Wendy, shepherding us into a private sitting room off of that horror show of a surgery waiting room on the third floor of St. Joseph's. Leaving behind the comfort of our southwest family and friends. It had that dream like quality of being neither real nor an illusion. And I thought, how can I do this? Kim was always the one to help the bambini through emotional problems and tough situations. But I needed to be the one...
When I explained the situation to the bambini, there was dead silence. Like that eerie calm before a major storm hits...and then, it sank in. The meaning reaching down into their souls, tearing their little hearts out.
But what comes to me in my
He stands in the middle of the room, dawning realization removing the smile from his loving face slowly, like a wave receding down the sand on the beach...going paler and paler.
His actions seared into my memory... I can't write about the rest...
...Anyway, he has found his way - becoming so helpful and even more loving and caring than ever...I feel so blessed to have him (and Cody and Autumn of course - but, being that Tonio was the most lost, it is a relief to see him smile more and more!).
At the UofA v Stanford baseball game.
Learning to dive at the Sunshine Swim School
Sporting the new Tony Hawk t-shirt that Angie gave him for Easter
Tonio, Autumn and Brinley at Peter Piper Pizza with their kindergarten teacher, Mary Montes.
With one of his best buddies, Bryson at Joe's Crab Shack for David's birthday party
And his best little friend from Cottonwood, Monsi!
It seems like Tonio has found his way - his good friends and family have helped him find his smile and he is regaining his confidence...And he makes me smile and laugh every day!!
That was a great post, Dave! It IS so wonderful to see Tonio smile more and more! On a side note, we released 10 butterflies yesterday into Kimmy's Garden and several of them just hung around and enjoyed it, instead of flying off.... We love that garden. :)
ReplyDeleteBrought tears to my eyes reading this Dave! I am so happy to hear this and to know that Tonio is slowly finding his way. And to see that smile again-best thing ever!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely brought some tears with this blog...I think having to think about "that day" will always bring tears. I will never forget the call from ami that you had to have the kids say good bye to their mama...you have been their rock since then and continue to be an inspiration to all of us!!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to hear Tonio is coming around. Grief isn't a process, it is part of who you will be come. The steps are never ending. I'm glad he is finding HIS way :) Cheers!
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