Day of the Dead. We've heard a lot about it, of course - but have never been close to it. Over the years, we talked about going to an event or two during the three day celebration - but we never made it. Last year, I was very close to taking the bambini to see what it was all about, and, celebrate Kim - but, without me knowing it, I was still too broken and the days came and went - like they tend to do.
But this year...
Coming off Mass and a great breakfast at Viro's, in which we filled the 'big table' - Andrea, Lexy, Breanna, Micah (Lexy and Autumn's principal) and his son Carter, Tammy (who works at Cottownwood) and her daughters Emma (who is in Aut's class) and Sarah, and Rosa and Vito joined us, too...I turned on the t.v., when we got home and saw a spot for the All Souls Procession. A parade and finale for the Dia de los Muertos...I subconsciously filed it away and went about making lunches, flipping wash, vacuuming, getting the kids clothes ready for school tomorrow, texting for rides (thank you to all of our drivers!) for the bambini for the week, keeping an eye on football, which was keeping me company in the background of this controlled chaos...and finally, making dinner.
The parade started at 6:00 p.m., culminating with a huge, carnival like performance at the Mercado San Agustin. We were finishing up dinner at 5:55 when I casually asked the kids if they wanted to go. "What is it?" they wanted to know. I did my best to explain the costumes they might see there and that we'd be going to celebrate their Mama...
Autumn and Antonio were all in. "What time does it start?" "5 minutes." They rushed to get shoes, hats, etc. My strategy was to get to the end of the parade route, which we made it to in plenty of time to check out the bands and displays before the actual parade made it to us.
Just inside the Mercado, there was a huge shrine erected in the plaza - I immediately regretted not thinking to bring along a photo of Kimmy. Improvising, I reached into my wallet and left a Mary medallion that I carry for her. There were bands playing and several hundred people, most dressed for the occasion, faces painted in varying skeleton type characters. The little ones eyes were wide and round as they tried to absorb it all.
When we heard rhythmic drumming approaching, we burst out of the plaza, onto Congress in time to see the parade approaching.
The kids were absolutely mesmerized by the bands, the floats and the costumes. Some so elaborate, it seemed they must work on them all year for this event. They pointed and shouted "DAD!!! LOOK AT THAT ONE!!" and "DID YOU SEE THE GRIM REAPER???" and "HEY!! THOSE GUYS ARE ON STILTS!". They were besides themselves with glee.
A woman hurried by, handing out slips of paper and pencils. Telling everyone to write the name of a loved one who had passed...she almost passed me. She stopped, abruptly, turned to me and paused - seemingly seeing into my heart and said 'Here. You need one of these. It's flash paper. Write her name on it and we will burn them all at the end on the big stage over there." She pointed behind me. I slowly turned, wondering how I could have missed the stage, that had to be 50 yards long, perched on the edge of the Santa Cruz and lit with neon towers. "There will be performances and then a bonfire." She told me before disappearing into the crowd.
I stared at the flash paper, numbly. Finally, I scrawled 'Kimmy' on it and turned it in to another painted lady who was coming by collecting names (souls) with a silver bucket.
We were there for over an hour and still the parade kept flowing by us. The music was hypnotizing - reality felt very thin here. Literally, every time I blinked, I saw Kim, standing beside me, clapping, engrossed in the festivities - sometimes turning to me and smiling, sometimes pointing out something she wanted to share with me. Creating a strobe-like effect. Eyes close - she's there. Open-gone. I found myself closing my eyes longer and longer. To keep her there...
We finally began walking toward the massive stage, crossing over the vast, undeveloped, dirt lots that lay between the Mercado, end of the parade route and the Santa Cruz river...
Along the way, mini-performances were occurring. Autumn and Tonio watched the fire jugglers for quite awhile. There were three guys on stilts who blew flames from their mouths, too.
We couldn't get too close to the main stage. There were thousands of people. We finally made our way to the south end of the stage and watched some from backstage. I couldn't get a good picture of the whole scene. It was incredible. The sound system was fantastic and the music and performers were amazing. The mood was somber, celebratory, sad and happy all at once. Just another one of those electric moments, where mere words cannot convey all of the feelings.
The kids loved the giant praying mantis float! They asked a million questions about life and death. About their Mama. ('Did you and Mama ever come to this parade?' 'No, we never got to.', was the easy one.) Some questions touching on what she went through. And they pointed out tributes that people had for lost loved ones, wondering out loud how that person had passed, and complimenting the people on their decorations. They noticed everything...the smells (burning incense), the decor, animals, other children. Their little minds working overtime, fervishly trying to take it all in...Overwhelmed is how they felt.
Now we had been there two hours and still, the parade continued. This was the biggest parade I had ever been to in Tucson, and we had gone to the St. Patty's Day parade, the rodeo parade, the Halloween parade (actually marching in it one year as the three little pigs and the big bad wolf), the 4th of July parade, etc. It was fascinating. And, I always love the idea of honoring our lost loved ones, so I was hooked. I took the above photo - I swear there was no one standing next to this float...but, when I downloaded the photos, this ancient woman was in this frame. I don't know if you can zoom in on her, but, my first thought was that Kim would have loved to stop her and talk to her, to hear her stories...
Aztec dancers ended the parade - but the performances on stage were just getting started. You could feel the energy, so positive, and of all the souls being honored somehow there. It was like being in a dream - we didn't want it to end, we did not want to leave...
But, as we all have learned, nothing lasts forever....
...we slowly made our way through the revelers, back into the Mercado, lingering in the inviting plaza, to see the bands and performers..."Did you have a nice time Dad?" Autumn. "Don't you want to get a t-shirt?" "Can I take one last picture of you and Tonio over there. In that light?"
Away from the darkness...
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