The Emails...

         The thing is, when it happened ('it' is the only adequate word that I can apply to the events that I described in yesterday's post), I was on the phone.  Non-stop.  Literally.  I'm holding Kimmy's hand, trying to tell her..my phone is ringing.  I'm holding her, consoling her...my phone is ringing...she drifts into an uneasy sleep...I'm on the phone.  You get the picture. 
         Texting was better.  But killing me.  You see, Kim and I were not into any of the tech gadgets.  We had the old fashioned little flip phones that did not even take pictures.  We had no text plan.  It was costing me $ .20 per text.  I reached out to Sprint and told them about 'it'.  In a compassionate move, they set me up with 1000 texts per month...which I handily exceeded!
         Thus, the mass email was born to better spread the word to Kim's well wishers, friends and family!

          October 20th, 2010 - I woke the bambini close to 5:00 a.m. to go see their Mama.  None of us were too concerned yet.  Kim and I spent much of the night talking.  She did not seem too anxious - hell, our neighbor, Amy, had just had her gall bladder out recently and was over to our house for dinner like a day later.  Why worry?  I guess, in the back of our heads, left in the dark shadows, we knew the dangers associated with anesthesia - Kim, as a vet tech, had seen several operations go bad on cats and dogs due to an allergic reaction, or too heavy a dose, etc...she knew this could happen to humans.  But not to us...not to Kimmy..

           " Quick update: Got the kids out of bed at 5:15 this a.m., snuck them up to see Kim - she looked much better and we were able to visit with her before they prepped her for her surgery. I know it did the kids good to see her, but boy, did Kim light up seeing her little ones! She was unable to see Autumn or Tonio yesterday, as you must be 13 or older to enter the portion of the hospital she is in, so she only got to see Cody for a brief moment yesterday (so how'd we get them in this a.m.? It helps when two orderlies on duty used to work with me at Toys R Us and at Kohls and one of the RN's is a family friend).

Kim should be wrapped up in surgery by now, I just dropped the kids at school and am headed back down to greet her in recovery. I'll let you all know how she did. Thanks for your prayers and all of your support!!

Love, Dave"

          First of all, this is where the "Love, Dave" comes from that I typically end posts with (except on particularly dark nights).  Quickly, as Kim's condition digressed, I realized that I could not keep up via phone, email or text...and that's where our friends Ami Bunch and Jen Corbelli came in "you need a blog!"  and helped us create this, so everyone who wanted to cheer for Kimmy and pray for Kimmy and leave an encouraging note...could.  So I'd sign the emails to our family "Love, Dave" and when I expanded to the blog - I was still writing to friends and family, so it just felt right.

            Secondly, this was the day we discovered the stairwells at St. Joseph's, as the friends I described above assisted us in getting to Kim.  We were instantly hooked, seduced by their dim solitude.  It was calming, relaxing and gave us our own bit of enjoyment as we literally ran, no sprinted, up them to see Kim and ran back down them to exorcise our fears.

            When I sent this email, I still didn't know...so I was alone when the news came, and gravity deserted me.  I had that anti-gravity feeling for the entire 55 days, it was surreal as it slip in and out of my existence, creating a dream like feeling.  It hung around for a few months, I could literally feel it coming back, little by little each day...until it was back.  Today, it side slipped for an instant - I can only say surreal, as it is difficult to explain the sensation of everything around you slowing down to a crawl and the feeling of weightlessness as the enormity of the situation overwhelms you...

            I was relieved, though, despite the news, to have made it back in time to see Kim wheeled out of the O.R.  Guess what?  She was smiling...and her hand was slightly lifted off the bed, waving to me..'Hi Dave.'  So soft, so sweet, but with such relief and emotion...that was to be short lived...

                          I know the meaning of the word 'deflated'...

                          ...and I'm looking to follow the little red dotted line...

                         Thanks for listening,

                                             Dave