Unbalanced

              Thank you for checking back in, faithful reader.  You know, sometimes those of you who log on late night, might catch a different, rawer, version of what appears in the morning.  I may be a little more emotional while writing...and, when I doze off, I sometimes wake with a start thinking "What did I write??" and go back and do some revisions...

              I guess you can make an anniversary out of just about anything.  Kim and I did it all of the time.  These next 8 weeks, there are quite a few of them coming...

              How I felt today was...numb.  Unbalanced - wait, off balance - same thing?  I don't know.  The bambini, too, struggled today.  There is so much running through our collective heads right now, I don't know where to begin to sort it out and put it into print...

              But, at least I wasn't alone today...and that made a difference...

              ...and, as they have through this fuzzy time in my life, the Barnes & Noble team propped me up through my shift...on my way out to the 10, I detoured, drawn, like a magnet to DeGrazia...I bypassed the galleria in the sun and headed toward the small chapel that DeGrazia himself built, stone by stone, with his own hands.  He was such a giving, caring, compassionate man - you can feel it in his paintings and the chapel's atmosphere...

           I love this painting of Padre Kino, the same father who founded the San Xavier Mission...

Kim always talked about making tin flowers like these that adorn all of the doorways...

                                 
                    DeGrazia was a master at creating a mood.  The paintings he chose to do on the walls of his chapel bring you peace...

DeGrazia's altar.  His Mary of Guadalupe watches over, comforting...

How many times, was I blessed to visit DeGrazia, and sit in this very chapel with Kimmy?

                                
                                     Here is Autumn, last October, in the chapel's doorway.

  

Cody and Tonio, my little angels, inside the chapel.

Kim and I enjoying a moment, outside the chapel...I can remember how relaxed I felt - on top of the world.  Which is how Kim made me feel.

A year ago, tonight, Kim was finally getting into a room at St. Joseph's after nearly 10 hours in the hallway of the ER..it would be the first of many sleepless nights for us (I'm in for a long one tonight!) as the wonderful life Kim had built for us began to blow up.

The two little ones would not let me out of their sight when I picked them up from Lupe's.  They had fought, and felt bad, but could not explain why, what had happened.  They cannot quite get their little arms around their feelings today.

And after they lit candles in the Nitcho for Mama, they hustled back to the porch and wrapped their arms around me, one on each side, squeezing, looking to the sky to say goodnight.

They said goodnight, telling Cody and I that they loved us, giving each other hugs and wishing each other sweet dreams and off to bed they went.  While Cody and I turned our attention to the next Jason Statham movie, '13' (the numerical coincidence was not lost on either of us), which breaks in theaters next week on 10/28 (don't ask).  It is an indie film - Kim and I could not get enough of them - starring Mickey Rourke, 50 Cent and Jason Statham.  Well done.

It was nice to spend some time at the DeGrazia chapel this afternoon.  The temperatures are getting so nice again.  Our house has several prints that I bought for Kim there.  I think about our visits there a lot as I walk through our house and view that pieces that she had framed and hung throughout. 

Just another piece of Kim turning our house into a home...

Love,

 Dave

PS Just a few more days until Kimmy's dinner - proceeds go to her foundation, administered through Carondelet and will help build a new chapel at St. Josephs...link above can tell you more...click on her picture that says "Kimberly Conca Foundation"...but you knew that!