One thing I always loved about Kimmy, was the child in her, deep in her heart...she loved to laugh, get caught in a driving rain, give a surprise gift, see a Disney movie, sleigh riding in the winter, - I could go on and on...
And the child in her, really helped her relate to children in her life...she worked at a preschool in Bethlehem for about 8 years. This preschool was located on the edge of a government housing project, so the little 3 and 4 year olds that Kim cared from, often came from pretty broken homes...but while they were in Kim's care, she provided them with perhaps more love than they would ever find outside of the preschool's doors...
She would come home and tell me how one little girl came in, crying - Kim asked 'what's wrong, honey?'. The little girl related how, while she tried to sleep last night, her mom's boyfriend, burst through a window, with a knife and stabbed her mommy in the belly...Kim held that dear child and comforted her. I remember attending that funeral, Kim remembering to bring the little girl a new teddy and giving her a reason to smile on the darkest day.
This day care was operated by a bottom line oriented owner, so at snack and lunch time, nutrition was not the goal...Kim used to be so concerned, that we would go shopping for fruit and other healthy snacks that she would bring in to make sure the kids had a good meal while they were with her. One time, the owner saw what she was doing, flew into a tirade, believing someone had over spent meal budget. Kim explained that she brought the food in and told him how important it was to her that these children were fed properly...he allowed her to continue the practice, but would not adopt Kim's program into his budget. Kim tried to make the people work there to see how truly important their work was. These were lonely, affection starved little ones and Kim devoted her time there, even though she was making mininium wage, to making their lives a little better...In fact, I'll never forget the time, about ten years after she left, we were at a festival in downtown Bethlehem, when a huge teenager came hulking up to us - I quickly scanned my memory to try to think how I might have wronged him, but he started to smile and said 'Miss Kim?'...Kim instantly recognized the young man and her smile was like a thousand suns...'Yes Eric!'...'Miss Kim, I just wanted to say thank you. I appreciate all that you did for me and it's made me who I am today'. This from a young man, who as a small child, confided in Kim that his daddy had been taken to jail by the police, who broke down his door, for selling drugs...
We'd spend many days scouring sale racks for children's clothes that she would bring in for the 'borrow' box, which was supposed to be for the children that had accidents, but Kim turned it into a wonderful time for the children to trade in ragged clothing...For Christmas, there was a little gift for each child, and Kim put a smile on each of their faces...
Of course, as a mother, she has been incredible. When we had Cody, back in 1997, I was still so full of impatience and awkwardly inexperienced...Kim gracefully and, seemingly effortlessly, became the most caring mother, all the while teaching me how to be the father that I have become. She would show me tricks...like being able to recite Maurice Sendak's 'Where the Wild Things Are' would almost instantly settle Cody down when he was upset. She hand made Cody's Halloween costumes - a ferocious, well cuddly, lion...an adorable scarecrow...a fearsome dinosaur...Autumn and Antonio each wore these at one point, too.
When Autumn blessed our lives, I figured we were complete...a little boy to carry on the Conca name and a little girl for Kimmy to be her little shadow...but Kim said...'we should have 3, what if we regret not having a third?'...and along came sweet little Antonio...who Kim let me name. I wanted to call him Vincenzo, and in typical Kim fashion, she gently coaxed 'well, that is a really nice name...and if we still lived in the Philly area, Vincenzo would be a great fit...maybe we should go with something a little more southwestern...'. And always guiding me and making me better without making me feel resentful or put out.
These bambini's never had a box mixed anything...I mentioned Bisquick one day and received blank stares. You've all heard about the ladybug cupcakes that Kimmy sent to school with Cody on his first day of kindergarten - she just felt that events in their lives were so special and she wanted to show them how much she cared and how very special each of them were to her...so it is, that I found myself again this morning making pancakes with apples cooked with cinnamon and brown sugar and bacon for their breakfast this morning and butterfly pasta with homemade marinara for their dinner tonight (ok, took them to Taco Bell for lunch - I still have a ghetto side to me! But we had a blast!).
Each birthday, she would hand make banners, posters, hats, depending on what theme the child wanted. From 'Wild Things' to Curious George, she's done it...and I'm sure the teachers that the bambini's have could chip in with stories about Kim helping them decorate their classrooms. These little ones were so well loved...
She was there for them in sickness, sat with each of them before they went to bed to listen to their thoughts and was there for them in the morning to lovingly get them ready for their day. Their lunches all had little messages written on their knapkins, extra snacks packed, just in case - their clothes ironed and ready for them and, as I mentioned, a home made breakfast.
And if you've ever been to our home - you've probably seen their rooms! Cody's featured a image of a BMX'r making a wicked jump, hand painted by Kim. He's had a lot of custom paint jobs over the years, beginning with a highway that Kim painted around the walls of his room and drew different vehicles 'driving' on it. Autumn's room currently has a birding theme, as she loves birds. Previously, she had a princess theme. Tonio has dinosaur bones and a huge wild thing jumping off a shelf.
These little ones are reflections of who Kimmy was...who she has shaped them to be...they are my glue right now...
Of course, if all this 'work' (of course, it was not work to Kimmy), wasn't enough, she also loved to help out at the kid's schools. On any given morning, dozens of children would come flying over to give Kim a big hug, squealing 'hi Mrs. Conca!!!'. The children Kim worked with, were left with a sense of self worth and accomplishment - it wasn't necessarily her goal and it certainly wasn't work...it was who Kim was and how she loved children - and how she still had so much child living inside of her...I can still hear her angelic laughter...
"Let the children come to me - theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven"...
Love,
Dave
Oh Dave, I think this is my favorite post yet...perhaps it's partly because I am a mother now, too, and partly because I feel honored that I might actually be even a teeny, tiny bit like Kim, (minus the cooking for sure. I am the queen of box-mixed everything!) But boy, for some reason..this one tugged at my heart. She was SO loved by so many children, you are exactly right. I am actually saddened that my own children will not get to know and love her through their lifetimes. I love the stories about her working in the daycare...I'm not kidding, I feel like we could make a billion LIFETIME channel movies all about Kim's life...she was amazing. Driving to pick up some photos tonight, I found myself thinking about her again, and tears I thought had subsided were rolling down my cheeks again. Still can't believe she's gone. Thanks for helping us remember her every day. :)
ReplyDeleteI miss Kim greatly. I am so sorry Dave but I am rejoicing because without a shadow of a doubt the Lord welcomed her. I remember telling my mom when I was 16 that I want to be a mama like her. She has so much kindness and love pouring out her that even as a teenager i noticed. I noticed how much she adored her family and people around her. Even if my line was a mile long at Kohl's, she'd wait for me. She always made sure to brighten my day. I was just a kid and now with my own family she is a role model for me (along with my own mom). I am blessed to know her and have felt her amazing presence.
ReplyDelete-Aushrielle
Again, thank you for sharing Kim with us! She was a fantastic mother, the absolute BEST kind of parent to have in your classroom. I thought of Kim very early on Christmas morning when my little one refused to go back to sleep at 4 AM. I thought, well Kim would surely embrace this as an opportunity to cuddle with the baby and NOT see it as a burden to get up so very early. So I picked up baby Henry and cuddled him extra close this Christmas morning. It truly takes an amazing person to leave such an impact!
ReplyDeleteThe lucky teachers are the ones who had "The Concas." I remember when Antonio was coming into kinder, Ami and I both were teaching. It was kind of a fight to see who would get Antonio. Luckily for me, Ami was hoping to get pregnant and didn't think she would last all year, so I was the lucky one! Of course we love your children, but it was you and Kim that the teachers were blessed to have. The most wonderful room parents, organizing secret gifts, bringing much needed coffees, sending in books, supplies, anything that was needed. We just loved seeing you at school, you brought such love and care. I was also fortunate because with Antonio in Kinder meant that she could volunteer in the class! My favorite gift was a charm bracelet that Kim carefully picked out including charms that were meant just for me. I wear it all the time as it reminds me of Kim and makes my days even brighter! I already thought that Kim was the most amazing person I had ever met, but after reading these stories, she was more amazing than I could have imagined...how lucky that you had 33 years with her!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very touching post. Out of all my friends, Kim was most like me and I think that is why I miss her so much. I also cooked everything from scratch, except home made pasta, and I also worked with special needs children, my favorite and most rewarding job. However, I wanted to adopt all the children I worked with because I felt they weren't getting the love that they should have.
ReplyDeleteThe more time I spent with Kim the more I wanted to be like her. I was always amazed of her energy and talent. I loved your children's rooms and was always in amazement in Kim's art, what a gift she had. Kim definitely walked in Jesus's footsteps when it came to loving children and those dear to her. Another example of loving-kindness for us to follow.