We Climbed before the Klimb 4 Kim...

We Climbed before the Klimb 4 Kim...
1997's Climb

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My Angel




 
"How do angels get their wings?"  Kim asked me one day, out of the blue...
 
"I don't know, how?"
 
Kim loved classic movies,  Shirley Temple, Alfred Hitchcock,  "Cool Hand Luke", starring Paul Newman, "On the Waterfront" with Marlon Brando.  Joan Crawford. And James Stewart.
 
Each Christmas, we'd watch "It's a Wonderful Life" - I'd try to imitate James Stewart to make Kimmy giggle "I'll lasso you the mooooonnnn"  I'd drawl.  The movie was ok, but, what made the movie was being able to curl up with Kim on the couch to watch the movie!
 


                 In the story, James Stewart's character, George Bailey, has fallen on hard times and has given up.  He is on the verge of suicide.  St. Joseph, calls upon Clarence, an angel who has not yet earned his wings, to go save George.  St. Joseph tells Clarence, if he can save George, maybe he can earn his wings.
                 Clarence shows George what a terrible place Bedford Falls would be without him, and convinces George that he has a wonderful life.
                 "No man is a failure who has friends" he tells George.  At that moment, a bell rings on George's family Christmas tree, signaling that Clarence has earned his wings!

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              I cannot tell you how many times we watched this movie together...Kim could have watched it twice as many as we did.


                So, nearly every time we were out and about - no matter where, or what, we might have been doing - if we heard a bell ring, we'd pause and listen, then turn and look into each others eyes and Kim would whisper "an angel got their wings!" - her smile would warm the darkest depths of my heart...

               I can clearly remember the day that I heard the sweetest bells, tinkling over the wind.  The day Kimmy got her wings.  The clarity of the moment - it was unmistakable, as if I was an audience to her ceremony.  It may have taken 'Clarence' 200 years to earn his wings in the movie, but it was no surprise to me, that Kim earned hers in a year and a half!

              It was at Tonio's 3rd grade luau...Lupe had worked so hard planning a perfect day for our little ones.  Monsi and Tonio were inseparable, going on the jumping castles, playing all of the games that the Lupe had set up, eating a buffet of food and running through the downpour created by our Rita Ranch fire department! All of the 3rd graders and their teachers had a blast!!



                                             Tonio works hard on signing a shirt, with Monsi and Lupe in the background...

 
Wait to LIMBO!!!

 
Jenny Rienstra (Mons and Tonio's teacher) and Lupe enjoying the day...
 


                                                Here, the kids formed a circle, getting ready to play a game where one child gets a sponge, soaking wet, with  ice chilled water.  He/she chooses to douse another classmate on the head, at which point, the soakee must chase down the soaker before he/she gets back to their spot...
          ...while setting this up, just after snapping this photo, I was began to experience that sensation of time slowing down...and noticed how beautiful a day it was, the park was gorgeous that day.  I was staring off across the park, when I heard the familiar singing of a hummingbird.  I turned to see a pretty, green hummingbird, landing on the branch of the mesquite tree just above my head.  I squinted through the sun's brilliant rays to see her better...a breeze rippled across the park....
             ...and then, I heard the bells, unmistakable, carried by the breeze...I looked left, toward the source, to see if I could see anyone that might have been carrying a small set of bells - such a soft sound, yet clear. It seemed as though I could hear nothing else - not the squealing of the happy children, or the birds in the trees, or the cars passing by on Rita Road - all was absolutely silent - except for the bells. I looked back up at the hummingbird, which seemed to lift off in slow motion, hovering...when the jingling of the bells stopped, she swooped away, off into the blue sky...
  
                                At that moment, I knew what had just occurred, without a shadow of a doubt...it seemed an eternity passed as I processed the beauty of what had happened - the joy I felt, welling up inside me - how happy and proud of Kimmy I was at that moment....I cannot do this moment justice with words - the feeling was overwhelming, the moment so clear, so beautiful...just about indescribable.  The feeling of peace  that swept over me as I felt the cool breeze, eyes locked on the hummingbird and then, the jingling of the bells, from somewhere off to my left...

              Just like that, my time bubble burst - I could hear the children's laughter again and turned back to the game, which had just started...



               I've thought about that day often...I know that it was a perfect day for Kim to get her wings.  During the 3rd grade luau.  She had planned Cody's...and Autumn's.  Lupe had done such a fantastic job of making it a memorable, perfect day for the 3rd graders - Kimmy would have to have been there, for Antonio.  For us.  She'd earned those wings...my angel....

 
 
 

 
               Maybe, just maybe, the next time you hear bells ring - it will be your guardian angel who is receiving their wings...


 
 

Monday, September 10, 2012

Mission Impossible



                 It's been a long day...tomorrow will be longer...

                 But, I managed to still get Bella out into the desert, the air cool from monsoon activity and fragrant with creosote...
                 Tonio decided to join me.  "Can we climb through the barb wire, into the desert?"  he asked.  He's such a sweet soul, a broken soul, a not quite lost, but almost, soul.  I could not say no.
                 He watched intently as I carefully lifted Bella through a gap in the barb wire fence - not really a 'gap', but, just an area where someone had lifted one strand of barb wire high enough so you can wiggle through...He told me 'Be careful Dad!' as I followed Bella...and then, I turned to lift him, but, thought to boost his confidence and talked him through...he made it flawlessly...
                 ...and we walked, down a long abandoned dirt road, deeper and deeper into the desert, toward the Rincon Mountains, the sun setting behind us...trail bordered by ever tightening, cholla prickly pear cacti...Tonio spotting every lizard, quail, rabbit and chipmunk...with watchful eye out for the herd of cattle that graze this section of desert.
                  He's deep, Tonio, and asked question after question on our walk...it was nice to spend time with him and I told him stories of the hikes Mama and I used to take.  He wanted to know every detail - what had we seen?  Who was with us?  What was it like?

                 Autumn and Tonio always want to have 'movie night'.  I tell them, if they get ready for bed fast enough, there will be time.  They wanted me to choose a movie tonight.  So, I chose Mission Impossible 2.  I am not a Tom Cruise fan, but this is a great movie.
                The soundtrack is fantastic and really sets the mood.  The bambini were mesmerized by the action and Autumn was able to call what would happen next enough times that it made me fell as if a) it was Kim sitting next to me, pulling a 'Columbo' or b) she'd already seen this movie...
                "I don't really like Tom Cruise", she said at one point, "But he's pretty good in this movie.".
                 I would let them know when my favorite scenes were coming up...
                 Tom Cruise, as Ethan Hunt, must rid the world of a deadly virus, fight his arch enemy and previous spy partner, and, you guessed it - save the girl in the face of overwhelming odds.
                
                 The girl, played by Thandie Newton, trying to save Ethan Hunt from sure demise, injects herself with the virus (which, she knows, is a viable way to transport it) - as the bad guys unload round after round of lead trying to stop Hunt.  The bullets stop once the bad guys realize the girl has the virus in her blood stream and Ethan Hunt is ready to escape...
                
                   "You can't get us both out of here, can you?"  She asks Hunt....No, of course he cannot, but, he vows that he will save her.  The emotion of this scene, brought back every effort that I made to 'get us both out of here', during Kim's fight.

                   My favorite scene...

 
The white dove, through a flaming doorway, heralds the arrival of the hero, aiming to get the bad guys....and save the girl.
 
The white dove.  When Kim's father, Ken, passed away from cancer a decade ago...a white dove visited our home.  Kim was sure.  Certain.  That is was her Dad visiting us...so, the white dove in this movie held some meaning for me. 
 
I remember seeing this show with Kimmy.  She'd indulge me my action movies and was not a Cruise fan either.  But, she enjoyed this one.  We enjoyed it together, chuckling at some of the impossible stunts, but enjoying them just the same.  Even Aut, during a scene where Ethan Hunt has his motorcycle on one wheel, pulling a 180 and shooting a the bad guys the whole time, commented 'Yeh, he's good, but that's not really Tom Cruise doing these stunts...'
 
And, in the end, as the girl is about to jump off the highest cliff to rid the world of the virus...Ethan Hunt comes through, swooping in to save her...
 
I am a sentimental guy - I hold on to certain memories...moments in time.  Connecting events to make meaning out of them...
...and I have a story about an angel for you.
But not tonight.  It's late, I'll be on the road by 430ish, and need to get to sleep...to dream...
 
 
 
 

               

Sunday, September 9, 2012

More memories...


                   In my last post, I talked about how the memories that I have keep me going.  Talk about rocket fuel!  We sure had some wonderful times...
                   Long Beach Island, NJ holds so many - as I read about hurricanes hitting the east coast, I remember the time we were staying on L.B.I. when the tail end of one hit.  I do not recall what the hurricane's name was, but, that doesn't seem important. 
                  I believe I've written about L.B.I. before, and mentioned that it is a barrier reef island, situated six miles from the mainland.  It is 18 miles long and only a mile wide at it's widest point.  We had been from tip to tip more times than I can count, but favored Beach Haven, near it's middle. 
                 When hurricanes hit, the island had a propensity to flood, as, there was no where for all of that rain to go and with heightened surf activity, well, it just compounded the issue. 
                 We were staying at one of our favorite 'hole in the wall' hotels, the Elton, during one of these hurricanes (thanks Brian Duffy, a island native and one of my Shippensburg University roommates, for this photo!).
        

 
We liked the Elton, for the price (about $40/ night, with shared bathroom, or $60 would buy you your very own bathroom!), the location (about one block off the beach and walking distance to our favorite pubs, night clubs and watering holes) and the escape.  We'd bring peanut butter, bananas and Wheat Thins, which would serve for breakfast and lunch.  After a few days, our room would smell of bananas. 
We liked to either fish for our dinner or we'd splurge and go out to eat.  One of our favorites, Stefano's, is still there.  Our friend, Brian Duffy (master photographer), worked at this restaurant and would provide us with the house hookup.  When he sent me this photo, I asked him if Stefano's was still there.  He texted back 'Actually, I'm just leaving there right now'...
Anyway, the surf the day the hurricane was coming was fabulous.  We'd body surf, risking sand burns, and more, then crawl up to our towels to 'get some color' as Kim loved to say.  By afternoon, the skies were gray and foreboding...and then, the rains came. 
We ran back to our room, laughing, getting drenched.  Oh, I forgot to mention, that along with the p.b. and bananas, we'd also bring the large size bottle of Tanqueray. Gin.  Our special favorite.  We'd walk over to the 7-11 and get some tonic and limes to go with it, but, sometimes just pour it over ice and plop a couple of olives in it.  So, when we got back to the Elton, we braced ourselves for the storm and mixed up happy hour!
When the rains finally stopped, the roads were impassable.  We did not mind.  We literally waded down the street to a diner, had breakfast then splashed down to the beach to watch the turbulent and majestic Atlantic ocean pound the beach.
Later, we walked through thigh deep water on the street (no dangerous current like here in Arizona during monsoon) to the nearest bar to catch a band and a beer.  I believe we would have been happy to be 'stranded' like this the rest of our lives....
 
....the rest of our lives...Today, driving home from church and Viro's, questions began to formulate from the rear of Kim's Expedition...
"Dad?  Were you surprised with how fast Mama went?"  Autumn.  "I mean, didn't it take Grandpop more than 8 years to pass away from the same cancer?"
Surprised?  How about bowled over?
I mean, seriously.  Technology.  Advances in medicine.  Faith and prayer.  I knew Kimmy would beat it.
"Dad?  Mama went in for gall bladder surgery, right?"  Yes.  "So, when they found cancer, why the heck didn't they just cut it all out?". 
Well Autumn, that is exactly what I asked Dr. Atkinson, the day he decided to show me 8x10 glossies of Kim's liver, following 'successful' gall bladder surgery - just after the room stopped jouncing up and down like a large tray of jello.
"I knew Mama wasn't going to make it Dad."  Autumn again.  "I mean, I prayed and hoped, but, I just had this feeling...you know what I mean?"
Tonio: "Really?"  his voice a mere squeak.
Some days, I just don't want to.
 
Gas prices.  Kim would always laugh, every time I talked to my Dad - "Did youse talk about gas prices?"  Yes.  "Why?  It doesn't matter how much it cost, cuz you need it anyway" she'd reason.  Correctly.
Gassing up the other day, I noticed we were directly across the street from the Tanque Verde Apartments, where our Arizona adventure began.
 

      We hand picked this place, with my Dad's help.  Off street parking!  BONUS!  An exercise room!  Our last apartment in Philly?  My weight bench was where you would typically put the dining room table - that was our 'excercise room'.  Not one pool, but two! No pool back east.  Movie night once a month.  Sunday morning breakfast.  This was not apartment living...it was resort living!  And we took advantage of all of the amenities and had a blast living there...walking across the street to Udall Park - sometimes with a soccer ball to kick back and forth to each to other, or with our pup Cajun to run her.  We'd walk, hand in hand, down Tanque Verde Ave to the Safeway for groceries and liked to go to Bruegger's Bagels on Sunday and sit out front with Cajun enjoying our bagels. 

         Autumn always uncovers 'treasures' that evoke wonderful memories...


         Lord only knows where she came across this ancient relic...a ticket stub from a Philadelphia Wings game.  Lacrosse.  We saw the team's inaugural game versus the Pittsburgh Bulls and were hooked!  Fast paced, lots of action and very little stoppage time.  The crowd was always very enthusiastic, too!

          Finally, back to songs...I recently introduced the bambini to Elvis Costello.  'Watching the Detectives'.  I told the kids, that one of the lines in this song was written for their Mama.  They were intrigued...'She pulls his eyes out with a face like a magnet'...there, that's the one!  I had to explain it to Tonio, but could tell that Autumn immediately appreciated the sentiment.
         Muse - one of Kimmy's favorites, has their new one "Madness" out..."I can't get these memories out of my mind..."  And one by T.I. "Dead and Gone"..."I've been traveling down this road too long, just tryin to find my way back home, but the old me's dead and gone. Dead and gone."  Maybe I'm the pillow man...
         The bambini delight in relating to one another through music.  Cody is the DJ and Aut and Tonio will shout out requests:  "Can I hear 'Nocturnal Rainbows'?  Aut will ask.  "Sure" Cody replies, queuing it up.  "How about 'Invincible'?" Tonio asks.  Machine Gun Kelly.  The other day, we are sharing a meal at Viro's, and one of the new cooks comes out from behind the counter.  Tall, skinny.  Wearing a bandanna.  Cody leans in to the kids and whispers "LOOK!  It's Machine Gun Kelly!".  Aut and Tonio were convinced it really was.  Even this morning, when he walked in for work, Autumn caught my eye, tilted her head subtly in his general direction and mouthed "MACHINE GUN KELLY" at me, with a wink and a Kimmy grin.
         And then there is Redlight King - "I know what how it feels, when you have to start over.  Only this time, there's no one to save me."

         We miss Kimmy, but we love to share the memories.  The stories.  The smiles she gave us....