The Hummingbird

Wednesday July 11th....

              ...my boy turned 9.

                 Nine...

              ...I know that I cannot slow down the rushing stream of time.

              BUT, I've also learned to not to watch it go by, helplessly lamenting its passage.  I've come to embrace it and carefully observe every moment, cherishing them while being there.
              Uh, guess who I learned that from?

We made sure that we decorated with streamers, banners and dangly thingies, like Kim loved to do...

Antonio, so appreciative, squealed with delight after opening each gift.  He also opens gifts much slower than his brother and sister. Savoring each.  Really looking at it, studying it..."Who gave me this?" he would ask.  He likes to remember who gave him what - it makes each gift even more special, in his mind.  It amazes me, sometimes, how he'll pull out a toy from years ago and say "Aunt Lauren sent me this."...Or "Remember the time Angie went to Alaska and brought me this shirt?  That was so nice of her."  So each toy, each shirt, each game - everytime he plays with it or wears it, bears a memory for Tonio.

As a parent, I love it - as no gift goes unappreciated, or gets stuffed in the closet, under the bed.  Yes, he still enjoys playing with the empty boxes, too!  I also love to hear his memories of who he got what from and how much it means to him.

Again, you might have guessed who he got this...habit?...from.  Kim had so many items, cached away, and could recite where it had come from, who gave it to her and why it was special. 

Autumn provided a 'Where the Wild Things' crown for Tonio, to commemorate the day (a left over relic from some long ago story time at Barnes & Noble).  And Bella was on hand to assist with the unwrapping process, a bit more impatient to 'get to the good stuff', like the rest of us!

We went to the Civano Nursery after he opened presents.  They have a rabbit, goats and chickens.  I picked up some 'hearts and flowers' while Autumn and Antonio roamed the beautiful grounds.  I asked Tonio where he would like to eat breakfast...he ended up deciding on Ihop!  Then, he asked if we could drive out to the San Xavier Mission.  To light a candle, on his birthday, for his Mama.  He thoughtfully chose a St. Jude candle to light that day for Kim.  I asked if he wanted to light it in the church, or in Mary's Chapel.  "Mary's Chapel.  It's so beautiful and I want to light it by Mama's picture."  In the chapel, we met Floyd, an 85 year old custodian, who let me know that his wife's colon cancer had recently reared it's ugly head.  We promised to pray for her and did so on the spot.  Floyd let us rearrange the altar, to place a new photo of Kim on the altar.  Floyd had us retell our story and told us that he is finally going 'part time'...when he turns 86.

Tonio wanted to go swimming with the family and we headed to Clemens Center.  He loves the big, twirly slide that they have there.  Cody took some time to work on Tonio's free style stroke.

Tonio loved the Nike t-shirt that our neighbors, Amy, Tom and Alex got for him!  "Ball Hog"!

                                 On to Peter Piper Pizza!  We surprised Antonio.  When our friends would ask Tonio what he was doing to celebrate his birthday, he would tell them what he had already done that day.  When we pulled up, his face lit up so brightly....
                                  In the above shot, Tonio is building his own person pizza.  Lots of pineapple!!

Lexy and Autumn won the 500 ticket jackpot!!!

Tonio and his best friend, Monsi, ride the roller coaster! (incidentally, this location used to be a Linens 'N Things, where I used to be the store manager.  The roller coaster is situated exactly where the sheet department used to be!!  Loved working at this location, next to Janene's hair salon, Unique Identity - she'd hook me up with coffee and biscotti for breakfast and I could zip in for a quick haircut!)

Great to see Brendon, David and Cody enjoying the roller coaster too!!

Pizza for everyone!  Monsi and Tonio enjoy a slice!

The Cake

In this new life of mine, I still have difficulty planning ahead...and Tonio's cake was no exception.  We had been to Viro's Thursday, prior to Tonio's birthday, for wedding soup and I forgot to ask Rosa for a cake.  Friday, we took Tonio's 3rd grade teacher, Jenny, there for her birthday (she went to school with Vito and Rosa's son, Joe)...and I forgot to ask...

So, Saturday, I texted Vito.  "Tonio's bday Wednesday!  Can Rosa make him same cake she made for Aut's bday?"  "No problem"  Vito said...

I told V I'd pick up the cake Wednesday on our way to Peter Piper.  It was all ready for us.  For some reason, I wanted to see how beautiful a cake Rosa had made....It was decorated with pink roses and said "Happy Birthday Autumn"...

...I told Vito.  He told me to go in the back and tell Rosa...I did not want to do that!  These people take such good care of us, feeding us...taking care of the bambini when we need them to...

I should have known it would not have been a problem for an artist like Rosa!! She took a scalpel looking device and...whisk, whisk, whisk, lopped off all of the pink and turned it into Antonio's cake!

Manny told me "you know, I only came for Rosa's cake!".  White cake.  Real strawberry filling..and whipped cream icing!  So good!

                                       Tonio executed the birthday wish portion of his day flawlessly!!  And, I remembered to bring the candles!!

                                  BUT - WHO WOULD CUT TONIO'S CAKE?!??

                                   As you may have read, a million blogs ago, I cannot cut cakes...scarred from my childhood, it's become a phobia of mine....

                                      No worries, Janene made it over after a long day of cutting hair to once again cut one of our cakes!!  My sister, Cheri, would be so proud of the perfectly concentric slices she produced!

           
                                    David holds his cousin Maleah, who is already 9th months old!! 

                                       Proud Papa, Roshan, dances with Maleah

More presents!

An Angry Birds messenger bag filled with Angry Bird (his fav) school supplies!  (Thanks Andrea, Mario and kids!)!

"Best birthday ever"  Tonio told me before he drifted off to sleep that night...

And, what a blessing these 9 years with Tonio have been!!

Couple other images of the bambini summer:

4th of July Fireworks!

Swimming at Jenny's - her little one, Nathan, getting big!

Hangin' on 4th Ave at the Chocolate Iguana

Dodgers V Dbacks!

Lexy and Breanna's 'Academia De Baile' performance!

Their kindergarten teacher, Mary Montes, took them to Breakers Water Park!

 
                  Ahhhhh....and the circus!!  23 of us went together, spread out over 3 rows (Mariah and Angie right behind Tonio and I)...Good show!

    
                  Today, the morning came earlier than usual...our summer routine of 'sleeping in' until 8:00 shattered by the alarm going off at 6:15 a.m.  Although, shattered may be the wrong word, as, we use my phone, loaded with tunes, as our wake up call.  So, we ease into our day with Flypside's "Someday", as opposed to the Big Ben alarm that I had as a student, that literally clanged you into your day -I'd fly out of bed so fast to stop that ringing cacophony from hell!

                  The bambini got ready flawlessly this morning...we got out of the house 5 minutes early, which Autumn proudly pointed out.

                  First day of school was always such an important day for Kimmy.  She'd get up and make the bambini a big breakfast...we don't eat so much breakfast these days, Autumn preferring fruit, so I cut up a peach for her and Tonio liking his breakfast sausage (precooked) and a waffle (Fry's Homestyle).
                 She'd have them get ready and take some photos in the house and just outside of the house.  More photos at school and one with their teacher.  And then, just for good measure, one when they came home...
                 I almost forgot to take any pictures.  Lil Kim saved me.  Autumn spoke up as we hit campus - "Dad.  We didn't take any pictures!".  Whew.  Good save, that was close!!

And here they are!!  Autumn, heading to 7th grade at Desert Sky Middle School and Tonio, to 4th grade at Cottonwood with Ms. Irwin as his wonderful teacher!!! Note Tonio sporting the Angry Bird bag Andrea and Fam got him and new polo from Janene and Fam - he couldn't wait!

"Dad?  Do we have time to look at Mama's garden?"  Tonio asked me after the photo.  We were early for once!  So I told him OK.  We had spent some time trimming Kim's "Smile Grown Here" garden just after school ended and we were pleasantly surprised to find it still looking great!!

As we enjoyed the society garlic, rosemary, salvia, etc...a hummingbird gently floated down to have a morning snack...right in front of us, on a red salvia flower!!

"DAD!  Do you think that's Mama telling me to have a great first day of school????"  Tonio, his little face upturned to mine, making eye contact, searching, hoping....

"No Antonio.  I don't 'think'....I KNOW!"

               

 

                               

                             

Stardust

Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite authors.  The bambini's too.  I first read Coraline to Cody and Autumn, well before the movie they so love came to the big screen.  Then, we read Graveyard Book.  Tonio and I read it last year and it became his favorite.  The kids sat entranced for Odd and the Frost Giants, hanging on every word - "What will happen next?"... And his picture books, Wolves in the Walls, Crazy Hair and the Day I Swapped my Dad for Two Goldfish, had the bambini laughing out loud... I read American Gods, Neverwhere, Anansi Boys and Fragile Things...

    And Kim listened.  She listened as the bambini sat silent and wide eyed for their stories.  She was there when they pointed and giggled at the picture books.  She liked me to try to described where I was and what I was feeling as I explored Gaiman's worlds...

    But, it was Stardust that haunted us both, bringing us together in my time of need.

    A little over two years ago, I was sick for what seems like the last time.  A fever burned so hot within me, I couldn't see straight, think clearly, sit still...or let go of Kim.  Prophetic?  Maybe.

    I read this book during this last sickness...and it captured me.

     In this story, a young man promises his love that he will journey into tomorrow to bring her back a fallen star.  He is from the English city of Wall, named for the stone wall that protects our world from the next.  The young man crosses out of Wall to seek the fallen star...."Travel by candlelight is the fastest way to travel." His mom tells him. "Think of me and I will think of you...Always."  I could see the bambini, eyes straining through the darkness.  Focusing in on those words, believing.

     The tale was ours and in my fever I could feel it.  Kim, by my side, doing all she could to nurse me through the 104 fever that raged through my mind, could feel it too.  The world Gaiman made, so beautiful and exoctic, seemed somehow parallel to how I met Kim, became friends with her and grew so entwined with her, that we could not be parted - no matter what.  I was that guy who loved her so very much, that I promised her the stars.  I remember those nights, that Kim showed me the stars, the constellations and told me that she loved me - 'What do stars do?' she asked.  'I dunno Kimmy', I replied spellbound.  "What?".  "They shine." she'd tell me with that hint of a smile that would flip my heart around and around - I'd walk to the other end of the earth to find that fallen shooting star for Kim...and she knew it.

      Kim nursed me back to health - no surprise.  It was the first time I had taken a sick day from work in over 20 years.  20.  That doesn't even seem possible.  We had been together all that time, too.  And I haven't, knock on wood, been sick since October 2010 - tempting fate here - "I'm waiting for the big one."

       Autumn was tranfixed to the screen as the movie neared it's end.  Our hero realizing that his true love, the fallen star, could not pass through the wall into the city of Wall, lest she be reduced to stardust.  It was race against time as most of the characters in the movie needed the fallen star for one reason or another.  The movie's hero, racing through the streets of Wall to get back to the gap in the wall to stop his star in time, before she turns to stardust...In the movie, as you might guess, he makes it.  Just in time.  Autumn was so thrilled - she turned to me and said 'My new favorite movie.  I have to read this book!  Thanks Dad!".

        I could only smile at her.  In the darkness, she could not read my face, thankfully, as I knew the truth of our story...my star...I could not get to the gap in the wall in time.  I ran as hard as I possibly could run - thinking the whole way that I could make in time to prevent her from crossing - to reaffirm my love for her...
        but, like in all bad dreams, I was not fast enough...so much got in my way to slow me down...and my star.  My shining star...passed through the gap in the wall and turned to stardust.
        And I know, everytime that I look up at the night sky and see those beautiful, bright stars, that she is up there shining down....because that is what she told me that stars do....

Pacific Finale

             It always goes so quickly, doesn't it?  The first days seem long, almost leisurely...but the last couple fly by!  We had some fun, as my expert parenting skills led us to find some awesome dive bars late at night after Bella had gone for a final run and was off to sleep.  'The Duck Dive' was one, with many big screen t.v.'s, killer BLT's and Pacifico on tap. My favorite. The waitresses loved the bambini!  'Dirty Bird' was another, a tribute to the Baltimore Ravens (my Dad would have loved this place and the wings!!) and 'Bare Back' where the kids feasted on donut holes at 11:00 at night and our waitress inexplicably walked out of the window to chase some people that she knew who had walked by...great IPA's on tap there.  We watched a bunch of hockey (lots more NHL fans on the coast, especially with the L.A. Kings in the Stanley Cup chase!), some basketball (I still cannot believe Oklahoma has pro-sports.  Oklahoma.  Seriously.) a little baseball and some surfing.

              The weather was incredible the last two days - sunny, 70 degrees and the water was pretty nice...Autumn and Cody wore themselves out boogie boarding and Tonio got into the act this morning. 

Cody and Autumn head into the surf together.  It was heartwarming to see these two find common ground and enjoy each other.

Tonio barely left my side.  We built sand castles, dug holes and jumped waves together

The bambini captured some fiddler crabs and are holding them here.

They discovered a large cave in the cliffs...near the sign that says 'Danger!  Stay off cliffs!  Unstable!'  I know the feeling.

Then, they built sea side condos for their crabbies!

Look close!  Autumn has a little guy resting on her thumb (that's me wrapped around her little finger!)

After a full day on the beach, we decided to go downtown.  I showed the kids the hotels that Kim had once upon a time booked us in and told them tales about those trips...like the Hyatt on the bay, next to Sea Port Village and the Best Western Carillo, just up the street from the ballpark.

Cody poses with his dream car - a Ferrari!

Well, maybe coming downtown was my idea because there was a Padres game.  Maybe.

Autumn was fascinated with Petco Park.  It is a nice ballpark, not so glitzy like Chase Field - more of a traditional ballpark, but with family friendly features...like this sand box!

The Giants were in town and we got to see Tim Lincecum, at one time one of the best in MLB, pitch.  The Padres took a 4-1 lead - but they are in last place and they quickly showed why falling behind 5-4.  Carlos Quentin, who we used to watch regularly here in Tucson when we had minor league baseball, the Sidewinders (Oklahoma has a pro team.  Really.), tied the game with a monster home run.  Logan Forsythe, who neither you nor I have ever heard of, won the game in the 9th with a walk off home run.  It was a great game!

Bella and I ran the beach near midnight...

And were back running it around 6 this morning..

With two little shell hunters (yes, Cody is still asleep!)

We walked to Paradise Pier, where you can rent a cottage right on the pier.  Kim looked into this once, but I can't remember what happened...

Another great day at the beach and back to Little Italy...

Cody chose a place called Davinta's, because he remembered going there a lifetime ago, when it was called something else and was so beautifully decorated. He asked 'Dad, where was the place that you could sit out back and they had incredible statues and paintings?'....it was very different, but he and Aut enjoyed pizza with prosciutto and arugula, while Tonio feasted on rigatoni and sausage!

We spent some time with our old friend Jeanne, who owns Bella Stanza on the corner of Beech and India, the beginning of Little Italy. She had just been to Italy and is going to San Fran tomorrow and to Laguna Beach Sunday. We got a neat pitcher to add to our collection of things Kimmy picked out there for our home, and a St Francis ceramic wall hanging...Tonio got a Pinocchio to hang in his room!

All of these beach visits and I cannot decide which are more beautiful...sunrises over the Atlantic or sunsets over the Pacific...

The sunrises were a part of our early life together, so very special...Bar Harbor, Maine...Plymouth, Mass, Providence, R.I....and I've told you about all of the southern beaches..

And yet...the Pacific was where we spent our married life...cherishing the beach time...and where our sun set....

More Pacific

       It's in the 60's...and beautiful!  Bella and I hit the beach running this morning at dawn - this girl loves the beach so much, running into the waves - you would not believe how high she can jump!  And, although we see a lot of other dogs on the beach in the morning, she only wants to meet people, growling at all of the dogs - I guess she doesn't realize she is a dog.

        Autumn purchased her own boogie board today.  She's hooked.  Her and Cody rode waves for hours, leaving Cody with a red back (not enough sun screen) and Autumn worn out.
        Uh, well, first we had breakfast!  The Boardwalk Cafe on Mission Blvd and Santa Clara...this was Kim's favorite breakfast spot.  We came here each time we visited San Diego - sometimes more than once (as will be the case during our visit!).  Kim thought it was a great 'joint' - how she classified a casual, non-chain establishment that served great food, had great atmosphere and friendly people working there.  It's one of the few places she wanted to buy a t-shirt from - Autumn has claimed the shirt as her own...
          There's not a lot of parking here, and I felt lucky we found a spot about a half block up from the Boardwalk on the right side of the street.  We brought Bella, so the maid's could repair clean our room without getting the Tigger treatment - it's so cool, that we knew she'd be fine while we ate breakfast.  As we walked to the Boardwalk, a man yelled to me that I'd better move my car, that they were ticketing right now and he pointed to the sign next to our car.  I thought it read 'No Parking Thursday mornings' for street cleaning and told him so.  He told me it does say no parking Thursday, but also said no parking Monday, too.  "What day is it?" I asked honestly.  "Monday."  "Oh, thanks! I'd better move my car!"  He told us that he had just done the same...Just as I started the car, the meter maid (is it still politically correct to call them that?), the ticket giver outer, pulled up and shook her head at me.  I thought she was going to ticket us anyway, but turns out she told me that since the street cleaner had already passed, I should park there.  She also told me not to forget Bella, since The Boardwalk is dog friendly!  Lucky Bella!

The "Joint" had sprouted a leak in the ceiling...apparently, the tenants above had left the bathtub running a tad too long, causing a beautiful, waterfall effect in the establishment below.  We were not put out....well, I guess we were, as we decided to sit outside.  Our waitress hooked Bella up with a fresh bowl of water.

     The breakfast was fantastic and I felt compelled to purchase a t-shirt...then, it was off to the beach!

Cody and Autumn rode some killer waves...

Tonio bought himself a big shovel and got busy digging an ever bigger hole.

Soon, the bambini joined forces to combat the incoming surf and preserve Tonio's engineering feat!

Jumping backwards a bit...here's a photo of last night's dinner at Anthony's Grotto - again, a family tradition.  We managed to get a window seat, which thrilled the kids.

OK, back to the present...after the beach, the kids like to swim for awhile at the pool to de-sand themselves.

All of the surf, sun, swimming and digging has given the bambini a hellacious appetite...off to Little Italy and Filippi's!!

After dinner, we walked Old Town, where the kids enjoyed Mexican hot chocolate (I stuck to cappuccino) and looked for souvenirs...Kim really enjoyed Old Towne and I shared stories of times we ate at Cafe Coyote, or Rockin' Baja Lobster and the time Kim got us a little efficiency apartment right in Old Town and we could walk to get late night ice creams (and margaritas for us!).  Cody and Autumn remember finding many snails in the bushes during that trip...

Little Tonio, ever thoughtful, kept finding little reminders of Kim - hummingbirds feeding from flowers...a Kimberly license plate in one store...at Filippi's, he wanted me to drink a bottle of Chianti, so we could write on the bottle for his Mama and hang it from the rafters with the billion others up there (think Pinnacle Peaks steak house and their ties...but Chianti bottles instead)...and he's struggling with traumas that we hope to get resolved soon for the poor little guy, makes me wish we could just stay here and live on the beach, but, I know we've got to face things...Then, it was  back to the hotel for a late night walk with Bella on the beach...they actually had no problem hopping into bed when we got home around 10!!

As Autumn fell asleep, she said to Cody "Can't wait to do some more boogie boarding tomorrow!"...Hoping their dreams are as sweet as their day was...