We Climbed before the Klimb 4 Kim...

We Climbed before the Klimb 4 Kim...
1997's Climb

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Sleep?

              We didn't go to sleep yesterday...none of us did.  Tonio came to me around 12:30 and asked if it was ok to go say goodnight to Mama...I said sure, where was Aut?  Cody and I were still watching movies, Bella curled up between us...Aut came out of the bedroom...'what were you up to honey?'  I asked, 'Playing on line with Lexy, but she went to sleep about 1/2 hour ago...'
              We went outside, and the orientation of the Big Dipper was so vastly different at this hour than most of the nights when we step out to say goodnight.  It was turned nearly right side up and appeared somehow bigger than usual tonight...and more beautiful.

              Cody and I watched a sad one tonight...I apologized as it finished, at 1 a.m. "at least we stayed up late together..." I told him.  "yeh", he smiled and staggered off down the hallway.  I tucked the little ones into to bed "Dad, Autumn says it's tomorrow already, is that true?"..."yep, it is Tonio"..."Good" he said as he burrowed his way into the covers in my room, Autumn curled up at the foot of the bed "Told you Tonio!".
              Some days, we don't want the day to end - as if we are waiting for something else, searching for something...I can't quite put my finger on...
            The movie Cody and I watched, was one called 'Hereafter', starring Matt Damon.  Directed by Clint Eastwood.  A great combination, right?  I thought so when I Redboxed it.  Normally, when I rent a dissappointing movie, I usually reason, "hey, it was only a buck" - I love Redbox.  In fact, if it is not very good, I have no problems turning it off and not watching it, for that price!  But, despite the movie being slow...and sad...a reminder...Cody and I were glued.  Neither of us could speak.  Neither of us could move.  Again, it just ended at 1 a.m. and we're wide awake.
             The opening scenes should have tipped me off.  A massive tidal wave wreaking havoc.  A tsunami.  My old nemisis from early childhood right up until 12/13/2010...then gone.  This giant wave rips through a town, sweeping away everything in it's path, including a young lady who had run down to the market while her fiance' waits for her in their hotel room...
            


Three people are touched by death in different ways. George is a blue-collar American who is trying to reject using his psychic ability to connect with those who have died. On the other side of the world, Marie, a French journalist, has a near-death experience that shakes her reality. And when Marcus, a London schoolboy, loses the person closest to him, he desperately needs answers. Each on a path in search of the truth, their lives will intersect, forever changed by what they believe might--or must--exist in the hereafter.

         I don't know why I wanted to see this one so bad...wait a minute, sure I did - the subject of the hereafter, of course, has recently become of interest to me...when I just went to say goodnight to Cody, I apologized again and told him next movie would be another Jason Statham movie...but, and I couldn't help it, I had to ask him - do you ever see Mama in your dreams?  He nodded yes.  I sat on the edge of his bed and asked him how it felt.  'Good'...Cody, a man of so few words.  I told him it had been a long while since I had, but told him about the last one I had a few nights ago, holding back some of the detail...He smiled, gave me a big hug and we told each other how much we loved each other...

          Sometimes things are so quiet, you do begin to wonder, to question...other times, you just know, you have that warm feeling, deep inside...I guess, we sometimes need that affirmation - to make us feel alive...whole...and that we still matter...

'Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side

So tear me open and pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps'
                    -Metallica

Good night, er, morning...


          

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