Oh yeh, October 22. 2010. Out of the frying pan and into the fire...
A day where our friends, Annette and Kirk Perrini, tried to keep me from imploding when they sent me this:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths.
I read it day after day after day. It's one of those verses that provides you comfort. Unless your prayers are not being answered the way you want them to be answered. Maybe I was asking for the wrong thing...? None the less, it made me stop wasting time on trying to understand, and be able to give that energy to Kim and the time that we had left together...
"OK - the good news is, Kimmy had a much better day today than yesterday, in terms of the pain she is in and her breathing improving. She is still in ICU and will be there until they can rid her lungs of blood clots and get her breathing on her own again. I was there from 9-10 today, by her side, enjoying her company - she is a remarkable woman and I believe it is her positive attitude that is her best chance of beating this. If all goes well, she will be stable and moved out of ICU back into a regular room by tomorrow evening. Then, they can get a PTscan ordered and figure out all of the organs affected and establish a plan. Her oncologist said the large mass in her left lung has 'cavitized' and spread out in her lung and who knows where else - so it will be a long road to recovery. She was able to eat jello, broth and have cranberry juice today.
Kids are good - I dropped them at school and Betsey picked up Tonio and Cody for us. Autumn stayed after with her teacher, Mrs. Rudzena, who helped her work on writing a resume, as I've been unable to help her. She then dropped Autumn off at Betsey's who brought them down to see Kim. Tomorrow, I'll take them all down in the morning and see what the day brings us.
Thanks for all of your prayers, support, etc!! Love, Dave
PS Vito, thanks again for all of the food, we still had enough left over for today, so I did not call tonight for more - the kids LOVED it!"
"Cavitized" is a term that you do not want to hear. Dr. Taetle explained that the tumor in Kim's lung was very old, he could tell by the size and the cavity. It's like these little, brown puff balls we used to find in the grass as kids. They almost looked like a brown blueberry. You could squeeze them, and thousands of spores, like so many pieces of dust, would ride the winds to who knows where. I'm sure that they would land and grow a new puff ball. That's what happened in Kim's lung. The puff ball had been squeezed, sending the cancer wafting through the wind to land, well, everywhere. And to grow. New puff balls.
I don't have a lot for this day. I'm writing this early...the bambini next door - a rare moment alone (yes, I did get the wash done, all the lunches packed, committee work completed, dinner results wrapped up, etc, etc) so, I thought I'd knock this out...as the shadows grow longer, the quiet stretching out, it all comes back...just part of the whole thing. It's only been an hour, but, I miss the bambini and believe I'll go get them now...