Back to Laguna

         I found that the best way to make sure you will wake up at 4 a.m., is to not go to sleep.  That worked.  Cody got up at 4, we got ready and were able to be on the road just before 5 a.m....sorry to bust anyone who was in an office pool betting on what time we'd leave.  I lost.  I bet on the 8 a.m. time slot.  Dammit.
          Autumn was thrilled to see the sunrise.  In fact, all of the bambini commented on its beauty.  It was a nice one...
          We made good time right through to Gila Bend, which sucked the wind out of our sails.  First, we stopped to use the restroom the Shell off of the first exit...we let Bella stretch her legs - first time traveling farther than Wilcox, AZ, so we thought, if we have to go, she must too.  She didn't.  Then, Autumn announced she was hungry, so we took the 'business route' (what an oxymoron in the case of Gila Bend!), slowly winding our way through 'town' to McD's...and Gila Bend continued to suck time from our trip...as McD's got our order wrong...and until I went inside and got it squared away, we had spent a glorious 45 minutes in that little hell hole!
          After that, we made decent time, despite California having an incredible amount of highway patrol out...I can never see 'CHIPS' without smirking...the two little ones in the back chattered incessantly.  Horrifically, we discovered that the adapater for our portable DVD player had gone missing...about an hour into our drive...Cody tried to keep me sane, keeping the Ipod playing good tunes, just loud enough so we could not hear the two in the back...there were also quite a few Border Patrol stops, instead of just the one after crossing into Cali.  "Do you have any produce?"  they asked at our first stop. "is that some kind of code Dad?"  Cody asked.  Our only worry was Bella...at the second stop, she appeared at the window, greeting the BP agent with a Thompson submachine gun...we quickly sped away...laughing.
             Road delirium.  Without Kim to spell me, I only had the McD's coffee from 6:30 that morning to keep me going...Yuma, we discovered, is a four letter word.  Interesting.  We decided to substitute that the rest of the day for other four letter words...which was fun. 
             As we rolled into San Diego, around 11ish, the back seat kids started to say they were hungry.  I quickly decided we should stop downtown and hit Little Italy for lunch!

             India Street - downtown...two blocks north of Seaport Village....

                                       Autumn anxiously waits outside of Filippi's for some food!

                       Autumn got pasta (what a surprise!), Cody a pepperoni calzone and Tonio...just fruit salad...I got fettucine with pesto sauce and fresh tomatoes...completely out of character for me, as I'm not a big fettucine guy...but they had it in display case and it looked so good - and Kimmy would have chosen it...so I did and it was great!

 ..

                        Afterward, we walked the crowded streets in Little Italy - they were having a farmers market, with live bands and other fun stuff.  We finally left around 2 and headed to Laguna Beach, about an hour up the coast.
                      
                         Just as we were getting into Laguna, Puke-a-palooza started!  Bella let loose in the back seat the little ones lost their minds!!  I threw wipes to them, as I slowed down from the 80 MPH I was doing on the 5 to make my exit and pulled into the first gas station as Bella leaned up front and hurled in Cody's lap!!  We cleaned up and made it to our hotel, the bambini all gagging, struggling to hold onto their lunches...
                         We are staying at the Travel Lodge Laguna Beach, just across from the Montage Resort - I can't even describe the amount of beauty and detail they put into that place - but, a room goes for around $500/night...
                       The Travel Lodge is beautiful enough for us and the kids were thrilled to be there.  I ran in to announce our arrival and tell them about Bella...'Oh, we don't accept pets', the desk lady told me.  OK, I'm at the end of my proverbial rope right now...thinking 'should I leap off the cliffs of Laguna or simply swim out to sea...'  and she tells me this...'Uh, I specifically chose this hotel because online, it said you do accept dogs'...'No, we don't'...'Your website must be mistaken', I calmly told her through clenched teeth...'when did you make reservations?'  'February'.  'Oh, you're right.  We used to take pets, now we don't.  Since you made your reservations in February, we will take care of you.'  I was thanful and explained how we had stayed in this very hotel 7 years ago...back then, we were in room 114.  This time, 106.  As we pulled our suitcases into the room, Bella let loose one more time.  Luckily, it was on the sidewalk outside our room!  I quickly ran inside, grabbed the ice bucket, filled it and scoured the sidewalk before anyone would notice...Then, we ran to CVS, next door and bought Kaopectate and gave her a dose - thus pulling out my inner-Kimmy-who-used to be a-vet-tech...and, I grabbed the last bottle they had!  Surely a good omen.
                       But I was spent.  I needed a quick nap and to just decompress.  No. Way.  'Let's go to the beach!' the bambini cried!  It's a nice walk through the Montage to the beach...

                                 Two views from the top - lots of foilage and flowers on a winding walkway to the beach...at the bottom was Kim's favorite cove...

                              The cliffs surrounding the beaches are covered with ice plants and other flowers...

                 The bambini loved playing in the surf...Tonio got his first boogie board today!

Autumn explores the tide pools...This was Kim's favorite thing to do!

                      On the other side of this natural rock arch, is a little cove, Kim's favorite beach at Laguna...

                               Autumn found some great shells to add to her collection...the water was pretty chilly!

Bella absolutely LOVED the water!!  She would charge the waves fearlessly and got pretty wet!!

When we were done at the beach, we headed for dinner downtown...

                            Solerno's was one of Kim's favorites downtown Laguna...but we could not get in tonight, the wait 2 hours and it was about 6:30 when we got there...so we went to a little restaurant on the water that Kimmy liked to go to...and about half way through dinner...Tonio announced "I'm not feeling so well..."  I jumped up, rushed him to the men's room - LOCKED!  I pushed him into the ladies room and just in time - he vomited more than I could ever believe could fit inside of him!!  Just as I got him cleaned up, about 5 ladies came in (I did not get a chance to lock the door!)...I explained our 'emergency' and they graciously let us finish up...
                           We made it back to the hotel and Tonio went right to sleep...Aut and Cody hit the pool, while I tried to make sense of our dirty clothes, toiletries, etc.
                        Long day...and a flood of memories that I am unable to describe right now...and we did have some fun along the way...I guess I will sleep tonight!  I promised to get the bambini up around 5 to hit the tidal pools at their finest...
                       I stepped out into the Laguna night to say goodnight to Kimmy alone tonight, everyone else fast asleep...the Big Dipper followed us out here - thank God - I needed that...
                       Love,
                           Dave

Gluten Free Pasta

     No, seriously.  Gluten free pasta...I thought it would pretty bad - I've had whole wheat pasta, which is as tasty as eating cardboard with red stuff splashed on it...but was pleasantly surprised! 
     We stopped at Viro's today (and had a surprise, drive by visit from Angie!), to have lunch, say our goodbyes before we head to the coast Saturday and have them fill the bambini up with gelato and pastries!  I bought some Divella brand, gluten free pasta, to try out for dinner, as we were having Casey Rudzena, Aut's 5th grade and, thank the good Lord, soon to be 6th grade teacher, over...
      "The trick is to not over cook it..."  Vito wisely told me.  The package does not give you a cooking time, so, based on experience, I let it boil for about 8 minutes and started to taste test the penne pasta I was cooking...9 1/2 minutes seemed to be the magic time...
       Casey arrived and her and Autumn sat down to play Kerplunk and Clue while I prepped the salad and pasta (homemade marinara, Kimmy's recipe!)...they were having a great time, but, alas, it was time to eat...
        I served up the bambini's, and Casey and I exchanged a look...would they notice??  NO!!  They did not!  Good stuff!!

          Casey and Autumn settled in to watch Little Fockers after their meal....What a blessing, for Autumn to have Casey in her life, to help her along her new journey and to teach and mentor her...

           We leave in the morning for California.  What time is anyone's guess - in fact, it might make a good office pool.  Cody asked me, and I told him between 5 and 6.  He said, 'How about 4?'...I am not a morning person, I'd be happier with 9 or 10, but, I told him I'd set the alarm for 4 and see what happens...I'll be counting on him to be my co-pilot.  To keep me awake.  Look for cool things along the way.  Pop the top on my Rock Star so I can navigate that dreaded purgatory between Gila Bend and Yuma...and to put in the address of our hotel into his phone GPS app thingy, too.  And be 'snack boy'...it's a lot of responsibility.
            I haven't had to plan or pack for a vacation in 14 years...Kim handled all of that once we had kids.  I used to be good at it, when we were dating, and then married with no kids...or at least I thought I was...but Kim always had a way of finding the best deals on line for hotel room and events.  She'd always put such thought and care into packing and we'd never run short on anything and rarely had too much of anything.  And she'd make it all fit so nice into the suit cases. 
            My Dad emailed the kids a nice checklist so they could help pack...as soon as they saw his email last Sunday, they raced to the garage, grabbed suitcases and got packing!!!  Autumn nailed it, Cody was close, just a sweatshirt shy of a full suitcase and Tonio did pretty damn good, considering his wiggliness.  I even used it.  I've always been that guy who says "OK, we'll be there 5 days, so, one pair of shorts, couple of t-shirts, and a hoodie should cover it.'
            Of course...I forgot to shop for road snacks...oh well, that's what 'convenience' stores are for...and the people watching at the stops along the way will be entertaining...
           Anyways, we're heading to Laguna for a couple of days...we'll spread some of Kimmy's ashes there on Monday morning, the 13th, 6 months after her passing...all she wanted to do was get back to the beach, that she loved so much...it's going on 4 years now, since we last hit the coast and it will be bitter sweet for us...But, if you think of it, please say a prayer for Kimmy on that morning...
            Thank you,
                      Love,
                          Dave

PS  And I'll leave you with one of Kimmy's favorite songs "Ride to California" by Paper Tongues...again, she had a wide and varied taste in music - she loved to sing this one to me 'cuz it makes sense to go to California', she'd smile as she sang/asked me to take her to the beach...We'd been on beaches from Maine to Miami, Fla, but her all time favorite was Laguna...it's so nice with the high cliffs, coves and tidal pools...I'll be glad to make it to Mission Beach...

Crock Pot Save!

        So, as you know, I try to keep the bambini moving...especially during these days of summer...we try to recover ground that we enjoyed with Kimmy.  To remember the fun times and to create new memories...
        And, I try to keep these guys well fed with home cooked meals, in between the running!  That creates some kind of challenges.  Kim used to be pretty handy with the crock pot, when ever our schedules got busy - but, aside from Janene's recipe of chicken and Rotel, I've only used the crock to make pinto beans...first time a disaster, second time went very well...

         A week a go or so, Andrea presented me with this:

          She knew I've been running hard and loved to cook for the kids and thought this would help!  I carefully went through it - there is a recipe for every day on index sized cards...and thought I'd try the Chicken Cacciatore...
          I made it on Sunday and put everything in the crock pot as we headed out the door for church.  By the time we got back around 3 that afternoon, it was nearly done and the bambini were salivating!  It did smell pretty good.

          Easy to make:
          1 pepper, chopped (I used a yellow one)
          1 onion, chopped
          1 Tbsp. dry Italian seasoning
          1 can diced tomatoes (14-15oz)
          6 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves.
          I added 4 minced garlic cloves, too!

          In a small bowl, mix together the pepper, onion, seasoning and tomatoes.  Place a third on bottom of crock pot.  Layer 3 chicken breasts over top and add a 1/3 of tomato sauce.  Place the remaining breasts on top and cover with the tomato sauce.
          Cover and cook on low 6 hours or until chicken is done, but not dry.

           The bambini absolutely loved it!  Autumn asked if she could put sour cream on it...at first, I said 'NO!  Why would you put sour cream on Chicken Cacciatore??'  Then, as I examined the dish, I realized - it is damn near Chicken Fajitas...isn't it??  So, I told her 'Go ahead!' and she had seconds!!!
          What a time saver - and I've got several hundred more recipes to try!!!

           As I went to put away the first recipe I tried, feeling good that it had worked out, I noticed that the date of the recipe I had chosen was March 1st - Kimmy's birthday...how cool is that?

           Love,
                 Dave

Brendon's Birthday Party

         Any day that begins at Brawley's, is going to be a good day...Here's Breanna, Lexy, Autumn, Tonio, Bryson, Angie and Janene, happy and well fed, after a rousing birthday breakfast, for Janene's son, Brandon, who turned 13 today.  We had a total of 19, nearly filling this restaurant, which was definitely Kimmy's favorite hole in the wall place to eat.
         From there, we all headed to Golf 'N Stuff, for an afternoon of bumer boats, race cars, laser tag, batting cages, golf and video games.  It was 100 degrees, but that did not slow these kids down!! 

                            Breanna takes extra precaution to sun exposure by liberally applying sunscreen!

                                         Cody, David and Andres come back to port soaking wet on the bumper boats, which have a high pressured nozzle attached to the front to soak other riders - a good thing on a day like today!

                         Breanna and Tonio were like a death machine, wielding their water weapon with unbiased fury.  No one came back dry.  No one.

                              Lexy and Autumn did a nice job soaking other riders, too!

                      Cody takes Autumn on the go kart races - Brendon's friend, Cole was nice enough to take Tonio as a passenger in the car behind Cody's and Brendon's in the car to the right, ready to go.  The ride operator turned off the regular timer and these guys raced for what seemed like an eternity...

                                      A fun afternoon, here's the crew ready to get some cool drinks!

                      Once their thirst had been slaked, we headed over to Janene's to swim and eat pizza.  I don't know where these guys get the energy, but they swam non-stop for several hours, before woofing down pizza and birthday cake...and then, most of them had baseball, basketball and dance (Lexy and Breanna) to go to.  Cody went off to ride scooter with Brendon, who got a new one for his birthday and didn't come home until 9:30...I need some of that energy!!
                    Kim and I used to go to Golf 'N Stuff before we had kids, and enjoyed playing a liesurely game, at our own pace...sometimes finishing the course, sometimes not...
                   Golf 'N Stuff was always a place we'd take the bambini for a treat.  Especially following a visit to their dentist, Dr. Alexander.  We've been going to Dr. Alexander for 18 years - he's a great guy and is fantastic with kids.  Kim always said he reminds her of a cross between an older brother of mine and my Dad.  After each visit, Dr. Alexander's wife, Jane (who works as office manager/receptionist/hostess/etc), always presents the kids with Golf 'N Stuff passes...Kim would always take a photo of the kids playing and send it to them - and sure enough, next time we'd go in, there would be the latest picture of them hanging in the office.
                We had a lot of fun afternoons there, Kim liked the water falls and fountains that they have, and the large, shady trees.  She taught the kids a lot of patience there, whether putting, or waiting for the folks in front of us to finish their hole.  Also, sportsmanship...she would gently encourage them to root for each other, and to keep accurate score, and to be sure to take their turn, when it really was their turn and to have courtesy for whoever was trying to putt. And, of course, whenever someone made a good shot, Kim would excitedly cheer and applaud for them!
         When we were done golfing, she liked to go across the street to Tino's pizza for a slice and to let the kids play video games, so we could talk...They have great pizza there - and good sandwhiches, too.  The bambini would always want a pitcher of rootbeer to wash it down.  Occaisonally, we'd get a Peroni to wash ours down...

                 It was good to be there today, remembering the times we shared there - Kim and I, and later, with the bambini...and today, we made some new great memories of Golf 'N Stuff - it was fun watching all of the kids having such a great time together - what a great place to celebrate a birthday, and we were honored to be a part of that!

                    Love,
                           Dave

Sleep?

              We didn't go to sleep yesterday...none of us did.  Tonio came to me around 12:30 and asked if it was ok to go say goodnight to Mama...I said sure, where was Aut?  Cody and I were still watching movies, Bella curled up between us...Aut came out of the bedroom...'what were you up to honey?'  I asked, 'Playing on line with Lexy, but she went to sleep about 1/2 hour ago...'
              We went outside, and the orientation of the Big Dipper was so vastly different at this hour than most of the nights when we step out to say goodnight.  It was turned nearly right side up and appeared somehow bigger than usual tonight...and more beautiful.

              Cody and I watched a sad one tonight...I apologized as it finished, at 1 a.m. "at least we stayed up late together..." I told him.  "yeh", he smiled and staggered off down the hallway.  I tucked the little ones into to bed "Dad, Autumn says it's tomorrow already, is that true?"..."yep, it is Tonio"..."Good" he said as he burrowed his way into the covers in my room, Autumn curled up at the foot of the bed "Told you Tonio!".
              Some days, we don't want the day to end - as if we are waiting for something else, searching for something...I can't quite put my finger on...
            The movie Cody and I watched, was one called 'Hereafter', starring Matt Damon.  Directed by Clint Eastwood.  A great combination, right?  I thought so when I Redboxed it.  Normally, when I rent a dissappointing movie, I usually reason, "hey, it was only a buck" - I love Redbox.  In fact, if it is not very good, I have no problems turning it off and not watching it, for that price!  But, despite the movie being slow...and sad...a reminder...Cody and I were glued.  Neither of us could speak.  Neither of us could move.  Again, it just ended at 1 a.m. and we're wide awake.
             The opening scenes should have tipped me off.  A massive tidal wave wreaking havoc.  A tsunami.  My old nemisis from early childhood right up until 12/13/2010...then gone.  This giant wave rips through a town, sweeping away everything in it's path, including a young lady who had run down to the market while her fiance' waits for her in their hotel room...

            


Three people are touched by death in different ways. George is a blue-collar American who is trying to reject using his psychic ability to connect with those who have died. On the other side of the world, Marie, a French journalist, has a near-death experience that shakes her reality. And when Marcus, a London schoolboy, loses the person closest to him, he desperately needs answers. Each on a path in search of the truth, their lives will intersect, forever changed by what they believe might--or must--exist in the hereafter.

         I don't know why I wanted to see this one so bad...wait a minute, sure I did - the subject of the hereafter, of course, has recently become of interest to me...when I just went to say goodnight to Cody, I apologized again and told him next movie would be another Jason Statham movie...but, and I couldn't help it, I had to ask him - do you ever see Mama in your dreams?  He nodded yes.  I sat on the edge of his bed and asked him how it felt.  'Good'...Cody, a man of so few words.  I told him it had been a long while since I had, but told him about the last one I had a few nights ago, holding back some of the detail...He smiled, gave me a big hug and we told each other how much we loved each other...

          Sometimes things are so quiet, you do begin to wonder, to question...other times, you just know, you have that warm feeling, deep inside...I guess, we sometimes need that affirmation - to make us feel alive...whole...and that we still matter...

'Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side

So tear me open and pour me out
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps'

                    -Metallica

Good night, er, morning...

          

January 1st...2004

            A lifetime ago, literally...here's Kimmy's take on that New Year's Day:

            January 1, 2004

             Happy New Year!  Wow!  Where did 2003 go ?!  Ringing it in with our family of 5.  We went to the Hoffman's and watched Bruce Almighty and enjoyed steak Diane (one of Shawn's amazing dishes).  We all felt very old trying to stay awake until midnight!!  May we all be blessed this year.

           January 15, 2004

            Antonio is wobbly - but now sits up!  He can pull himself up from lying down position - wow!  he's so proud of his accomplishments - as are we.
           We just had his 6 month check up - doing great and weighing in at 16 1/2 lbs. of pure honey : ) .

           It's so nice to look back on what Kimmy wrote - I love her hand writing.  And her enthusiasm.  And optimism...something she taught us all, well.    I wish she had started it earlier and kept going with it - but, we found ourselves too busy...and time went so fast.  So I feel blessed to have what I have...

          Spent the night with my southwest family, Mark, Andrea, Janene, Kim, Rashon and all of the kids at the ballpark tonight, watching Janene's son, Brendon play in the Rincon Little League championships...Brendon's team won game 1, but needed to take two to win and lost the second game.  It was a full night of baseball on a beautiful night...and the kids had so much fun running around together...very relaxing...

Quest' la vita e qui il gioire, un' ora di abbrezzo e poi moire -- This is life and this is joy: an hour of embracing and then to die.

               Love,
                        Dave

La Mariposa

      Kimmy always valued good health.  Eating right, no smoking, occaisonal drink and excercise...Having Cody was no problem.  We still walked regularly and did some running - Kim hated running, but I could talk her into it and we had a nice time...running through the desert, where Cottonwood Elementary currently stands, to get to the wash behind it, which has a nice path along it.
      Even after we had Autumn, I bought Kimmy a double jogging stroller and she bounced back amazingly quick - and I picked up whatever the latest home excercise machine was for her too, but I always liked to run...gave me that sense of freedom...
      Kim never liked the whole excercise club thing.  When LA Fitness was opening, I asked if she'd like a membership, but she said no.  She did not really want to excercise around other people and felt that mostly exhibitionists went to places like these.  She felt places like this were more of a 'meat market'. It was too, well, 'glitzy' for Kim.  And I've always been a garage workout kind of person, so I could understand that.
      But, her friend, Rachel, worked at a private club called La Mariposa, on the northeast side of town.  We'd been there before, for friend's weddings, like Kayla, who Kimmy worked with at Ventana Animal Hospital and I knew it was way out of my price range.  Rachel got us a deal, as a friend of an employee, and I was able to get Kimmy in there...she made the most of her membership.
      At the time, I was working for the soul-sucking company, Kohl's, neary a ethical bone in their corporate structure, and I was putting in 70-80 hours per week.  So, I felt obligated to help Kim out with her small request to join La Mariposa.  Rachel had gotten her a great discount and Kim took all of her classes.  When I could, I would take a lunch hour to join her.
      Once, and I mean once, Rachel and Kim talked me into taking Rachel's spin class.  She kicked my *ss!  Every time she said to tighten up the bike's resistance, I would fake it and Rachel would call me out on it.  I was hurting by the end.  On Friday's, La Mariposa hosts a 'Happy Hour' with a food buffett and open swim.  The bambini loved it.
       Today, we tried to do some swimming.  I took the bambini to Viro's for lunch,

   And then to Clements Center...to find the pool is closed on Friday's and Saturday's.  What kind of anarchy is that??  Two busiest days of the summer week and the pool is closed!  Then, I went back towards home to Purple Heart Park...their pool is just plain closed.  Rita Ranch, the red headed stop child (though named afte brunette Rita Hayworth)...did not merit the money to keep the pool open - why can't our city government balance a budget like our Vail School District does?  So, we continued on to the pool next to the Reid Park Zoo...and found a long line, like I used to encounter pre-internet days, for rock concerts...just then, my phone rang...my friend, Mike was calling to see if we'd join him and his wife, Rachel and their kids, Sarah, Ellie, Luke and Gracie at La Mariposa, where Rachel still teaches fitness classes, for Happy Hour...
   We had absolutely nothing else going on this lovely Friday night and off we went!  It had been many years since we were last there.  For me, fond memories of meeting Kimmy there and working out together...weddings, receptions, swimming and happy hours spent together.  The surprise was, Autumn's reaction.  'The catepillar club...I hated that place', she said as we approached.

             "No one watched us.  No one cared.  Tonio got hurt on the teeter toter and I had to help him.  Mom would stick us in there and leave us there until you'd come to save us!"  I'm sure it was not that bad.  Tonio remembers nothing.  Nothing...he's got that skill like his old man.

         None the less, Tonio and Autumn had a great time swimming and eating a lot of great food!!!  We had a great time catching up with the Franzen family.  It's such a beautiful setting...I told Rachel and Mike that I was so glad to be able to have Kim be a member there for a year...and wished I could have had her there longer...she loved to work out there, where she could remain ambiguous and not be bothered.

       It was a good night...we went home and Aut and Tonio watched a Pooh bear movie, while Cody and I chose another Jason Statham movie, "Lock, Stock and Two Smokin' Barrels"...

Jake Green: There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-f-in rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval"

This one is from "Revolver", starring Jason Statham as Jake Green which Cody and I watched last night...

Anyway, it was nice to revisit one of Kimmy's favorite places...with it's pond, where Great Blue Heron would land at dusk...and the excercise facilities, where she could anonomously work out...and the pool, where we attended happy hours, Cody took swim lessons, and we relaxed...together.

     When we just went to say good night to Mama, Autumn asked me which one I thought was Mama.  I told her, the Big Dipper.  She said 'yeh, that makes sense.  It's always the brightest!'....

                  Love,
                        Dave

     
             

Zona 78

            I know that I've mentioned over and over that Zona 78 was Kimmy's favorite restaurant.  She liked to go there for her birthday.  When company was in town.  For our anniversary.  And to celebrate special occaisons...
          Well, we got Cody's report card in the mail today, and decided that it was a special occaison!  He got straight A's, including in Algebra, a 9th grade level class - he had gotten B's the last three quarters.  Even got an Excellent in Citizenship!!  Autumn and Tonio also got straight A's, so we thought we'd go to Zona 78!!
          The bambini also had Dr. appointments today, and, coincidentally, Dr. Radomsky's office is right behind Zona 78.  Autumn faced 3 shots today, as she prepares to go to 6th grade!  Tonio, has had a lingering cough, after being on antibiotics a month ago when Dr. R heard 'crackling' in one of his lungs...and Cody, it seems, has reinjured the collar bone he broke just over a year ago.  When I made their appointment, I asked "Is there a bundle discount available??"        
           They did great at the Dr's, so we went on to Zona 78.  Cody and I split Kim's and my favorite:  The antipasti platter, complete with salami, proccuitto, peppers, mozz, brie, grilled zucchini and, my favorite, artichoke hearts. And a bianco pizza.  Tonio had a cheese pizza and Autumn got a huge bowl of pasta, that she polished off well before the boys and I were done...Kim always marveled over how she could put away the pasta!

                                                                       Mangia!!
          Then, we walked down the sidewalk to Frost...Autumn got cheesecake gelato, Cody, coffee and Tonio got banana and talked the girl into given him one of the frozen, chocolate dipped, bananas that they have on display in the counter!!  I had a cappuccino.  Grande.

             Flashback to this morning:

                    The monkeys were howling at the zoo this morning!!! Amy, Betsey, Kim and I took the kids to the zoo before the day could heat up.  Alex, Cody, Colton (Alex's buddy), Mitchell, Tonio, Mariah and Micah had a fun time - we even got to see the tigers get fed!  Missing from this photo are Hadley and Autumn, who had gone 'shopping' in the zoo gift store! 

          Random shots:
          In and Out Burger - a Kimmy favorite - I love a girl that loves a good cheeseburger!  And Kim loved a good cheeseburger!!  I took the kids to In and Out a couple of days ago...they all got hats!

         Here's some girls that love a good cheeseburger!!  Hadley, Autumn, Breanna and Lexy anxiously await their burgers.  I'm telling you, Breanna demolished her cheeseburger!!

           
                                  Brendon, Cody, Tonio and Mitchell enjoy their burgers and fries!

              Here's a good one for you;  When I went to pay homage to Hugo Chavez, owner of Valero, I noticed the little sign, above the shocking amount I paid to fill the car, and above the cigarette ad...Whoopie Pies are now sold at Valero!!  Kim would be doing cart wheels!!  Whoopie Pies were another of her secret weaknesses!  We joked about it often, if I wanted her to do something for me, sometimes I'd promise her a Whoopie Pie!!

                 Kimmy enjoys a nice cappuccino (grande) from Frost - we watched the fireworks from Udall park, across the street from Frost...

                 And, it's Autumn, once again telling me it's time...time to say our good nights to Mama...

                   Good night...
                             Dave
          

The Little Things

    It's the little things that hurt the most...those 'insignificant milestones'...the first time I realized I had no more clean wash of Kimmy's to put away (and she'd always razz my folding skills, or lack of, calling me a 'shover'!)...the first time we ate at Kimmy's favorite restaurant, Zona 78...finishing that bottle of Bombay gin that I had gotten her for our anniversary last year...looking under the bathroom cabinet for soap and seeing the roller carefully wrapped in a plastic baggie, that she had used to repaint the bambini's bathroom just before she'd gotten sick, now over 7 months ago...
    Oh, don't get me wrong, the big things are challenging, too - they run you over like a freight train, but at least you see that coming.  I knew so far in advance that our anniversary would be tough, so when it came and I filled it full of good memories, I found myself upright at the end of the day...Cody's birthday and graduation, Autumn's birthday were hard - I know Tonio's will be, too.  Memorial Day - that's an in betweener, as it is not necessarily a Christmas, or Easter, but Kim always made it a fun and special day for us...
    Interesctions sometimes bring me to my knees.  Yes, intersections.  How about saying a little prayer, or possibly a Hail Mary for Kimmy the next time you cross Golf Links and Bonanza?  Perhaps the hardest one for me to pass.  We were heading east on Golf Links in early October, the 5th I believe, to visit with Vi and my Dad at their hotel and to let the kids swim...Kimmy doubled over in pain, in the passenger seat and asked me to pull over.  I asked what was wrong - she said she had bad cramping pain across her lower rib cage and just needed to stand up straight. 
      I quickly made a right onto Bonanza, heading north and pulled over - bolting out of my door and rushing to open hers for her and help her out.  "Kimmy, can I take you to a Dr.?"..."No, just a cramp...I'm OK"...I held her tight, then helped her walk a few steps, Kimmy breathing in and breathing out, trying to work it out...and she did.  And we drove to the hotel and had a nice afternoon...but, now, when I pass that intersection, I do wish I had taken her to the Dr, even though I know it would not have done anything but extend her hospital stay by exactly two weeks...
      The interesection of Tanque Verde and Grant...you know the one with the McDonalds that has the giant T-Rex, dwarfed only by the gigantic traffic light and camera system...When I pass through that, I can still see myself, chatting happily with Kimmy, having just finished an ethics class for real estate.  I was so excited to have finished the class early and to be able to meet Kim for lunch before we had to go get the kids from school.  As I approached that light, it turned yellow - but I was not going to be denied even two minutes of time with Kimmy and I told her "I'm running the yellow light to get to you!"  Laughing, Kimmy giggling...Turned out the light was red and I had to go to traffic school  - but, those extra minutes with Kimmy? Priceless.
      Speedway and Camino Seco, where Kim burst into tears, exclaiming how especially beautiful everything looked today (a few days before she passed) and how much she loved Tucson...intersections...
        I seem to come across the small stuff most frequently around the house.  There is the garter from her sister, Terri's wedding, in the glove compartment of my truck.  The stray earring I find in my suit pocket.  Our travel log from our last California trip, nearly four years ago - and the places we visited, the shops Kimmy liked, the places we ate at...all in her neat handwriting - which I can only describe as 'happy'.  I know I will revisit these places, when we head out there in a few weeks - I know I need to be ready, for the bambini's sake.
        It hits me when a shirt Kim lovingly picked out for me has worn out...replanting in her garden was a happy/sad experience this year, especially since we lost a lot during that freeze we had - I tried to find the same plants and came pretty close.  Coming across her Volunteer Coordinator planning book...complete with notes to create volunteer guidelines handouts...planning volunteer luncheons and staff appreciation events...notes about who is donating what...Wendy Anderson, at Safeway, able to donate a $50 gift card (and Kimmy jots 'woo hoo!' with a smilely next to it...)...organizing the school's snack bar schedule and who to call for what...she was on it...carefully planning each event, for the year...I know the crawl space, above the garage, is going to be ripe with mementos...too.  Another day...
          We cycle through these things...Autumn, running to show me a 'new' pair of Mama's earring she has discovered, and is wearing...Tonio, noticing it was Mama who labeled his lunch box...Cody, choosing Kim's favorite number, 18, in a magic trick Brendon was showing us the other day.  Here's one too...when I'm in the mall, or at the store and see a cute shirt or sandals...and realize there's no Kimmy to buy those for...She is so easy to miss, I mean, so hard not to miss - you get the picture...
          In the bathroom, I just ran out of the Speedstick that got me through Kim's hospital stay.  A few weeks ago, I finished the last tube of toothpaste we shared.  That beat up pair of Nike's she bought me that I just can't seem to part with. These are the little things, the details...put enough of these together and you have a lifetime of memories...wonderful memories.
          Autumn just told me it's time to say goodnight to Mama...she had a fun day hanging with Lexy and Hadley - we took them and Tonio and Mitch to see the Diary of a Wimpy Kid, went to La Salsa and Lexy and Autumn came home and watched movies until just a few minutes ago when Andrea picked up Lexy (Justin Bieber was their favorite!) - good times. We missed Tonio tonight, who is sleeping over at Mitch's house - Betsey called for me to send Hadley home at 8:30 and said he was already out like a light!! Tonight, there were some clouds covering the Big Dipper...so we stood out back talking for a little while.  Autumn looked up and yelled 'The Big Dipper!'...sure enough, a hole in the clouds had formed, just large enough for the Dipper to shine through...I imagined that the hole appeared to be heart shaped...

                         Love,
                                Dave
PS About 11 p.m, Brian called and said Tonio missed us and wanted to come home.  While we walked home, I heard Autumn tell Tonio 'You should say goodnight to Mama on the way.  We went out back and the Big Dipper was covered with clouds, and a hole opened up so we could see it, and guess what?  The hole was heart shaped!'...
          

Same Kind of Different as Me

         I like to read a lot...mostly non-fiction, history, especially Roman history and the Americas back in the 1400 and 1500's...and religious history...some fiction, here and there to keep it light...Chuck Palahniuk "Fight Club", Charlie Huston "Shotgun Rule", are two of my favorites.  At work, people like to leave me 'must read' books...Jaimelyn, one of the managers at Barnes & Noble, has contributed nicely to my collection and always hits the mark.
         Recently, one of the books that made the pile was titled "Same Kind of Different as Me" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.  I was between books and thought it looked interesting (YES you can judge a book by it's cover, I have learned). 
         I thought it was fiction, it read so easily...about a white man who grows up poor,marries a white woman, who also grew up poor,  but finds a way to make money and becomes rich.  And an African American man who grows up poor and is homeless when the couple meets him.
        Soon, I came to realize, it was a real story...Although the white couple becomes rich, the wife, Deb, remembers where they came from and thanks God and wants to be more involved in helping others to show her appreciation.  Her husband, Ron, goes along with her, mainly to make her happy.  But, things change for him when they come across Denver, the homeless man, who he  becomes close friends with.
        About 3/4 of the way through, Deb becomes ill, unexpectedly...guess what?  Cancer.  The parallels were incredible...the diagnosis, the treatments, the pain, the horror...I kept asking myself "do I really want to continue this story?"...but I could not put it down.
       As she gets sicker, we find out the couple knew each other for 31 years...Kim and I knew each other 33...Kim was so dedicated and involved in our community, like Deb in the story, and initially, I got involved for her - why?  I wanted to keep impressing her, even though we were married and Kim always made me feel so secure in our relationship - it was still important to me to impress her.  I guess it was all a part of her continuing to clean me up and prepare me, because, along the way, it became just as important to me to give back and to teach the bambini that in order to keep a great community great, you have to be involved - I whole heartedly believe this...thanks to Kim.
       Of course, the the story, the treatments are not effective in fighting Deb's cancer - one doctor describes how you can be in the middle of  a swarm of hornets and never get bitten...but, stir them up...and look out!!  That's how cancer is.  Once disturbed, it goes wild...and boy did it ever in Kimmy...
       In the story, Deb remains strong and upbeat, right up to the very end.  Kimmy.  How beautiful she looked, eyes sparkling...smile bright...only her eyebrows gave away her concerns...and, if you ever listen to the songs on the playlist on Kimmy's blog - 'I need a Dr.' ...the voice of Skylar Grey resonates in my head - her angelic voice reminding me of Kimmy singing..."I'm about to lose my mind, you've been gone for so long, I'm running out of time.  I need a Dr., send me a Dr. - to bring me back to life..."  Damnation.
        And now, I'm nearing the end of the book...I literally can read one page a time, before breaking down and having to put it down...but it's an amazing story - I nearly feel I lived it.
        And it prompted me to pick up my Bible and look up a paragraph in Proverbs IX The Ideal Wife.  "When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.  Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.  She brings him good, and not evil (in my case, she turned me from evil) all the days of her life.  She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs at the days to come.  She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her toungue is kindly counsel.  Her children rise up and praise her; her husband too, extols her: "Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all".  Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates."  Amazing.  I don't recall ever having read this verse or heard about it before today - but it sure gripped me.  The Ideal Wife describes Kim, perfectly...but doesn't quite capture her glowing essence fully...
          I wrote an article back in March for a website, about our experience and this book prompted me to revisit that article...again, the parallels were eerie...
        
          Tonight, we went out to see Brendon play some playoff baseball (Rangers advanced to the finals after a strong 6-1 victory tonight!!).  As I was talking to Mario and watching the game, a man stopped and asked me when the championships were to be held.  Saturday at 5:30 I told him.  He asked who the match up was with.  Cardinals I told him.  He asked where I went to high school.  Liberty, class of '83, I answered.  He looked perplexed and I told him I moved here 18 years ago from Bethlehem.  He said he went to Santa Rita, class of '82.  I pointed out Mario, Andrea, Janene, Kim and Rashon and told him they all are Santa Rita grads, but that they were much, much younger than him.  He laughed and commented that my hair was much grayer than his...then, he told me he was battling cancer, pointing to scars on his neck. "What do Italians call this type of scar?"  "Smile" I told him..."Yeah, that's it" and he detailed his progression, treatments, surgeries...and how his children, one of whom plays on Brendon's team, were not doing well.  I briefly told him what happened to us, pointed out the bambini and told him we'd include him in our prayers...he thanked me and said he'd see me Saturday for the game...
         Books like Same Kind of Different as Me, and interactions with folks like the man I met tonight, help clarify what I'm left here to do...
        If you get a chance, look that book up...it made my 'must read' pile, and proved to really be a 'must read'!
      
        Tonight, Lexy and Hadley are having a sleep over with Autumn...the girls are going strong - it's 11:30 p.m. and they are playing Mario Kart on Wii.  Tonio and I are going to watch a movie together...And Cody, he's sleeping at his buddy, Wyatt's house tonight...I just texted him to see if he was settled in for the night and told him I loved him and he hit me right back saying 'Love you to Dad, Night!'...I am blessed...

         Love,
             Dave

Memorial Day

          We made sure to have our flag flying high today!!!  And, doing the American thing, made plans to have a picnic...Kim always had one planned...
           We bought a new Slip 'N Slide for the event - we always set it up in the park across the street, drag the hose across and let the kids have fun!  We have a shade tent to set up for the adults.  And make sure to have plenty of good friends and family there...
           So today, I channeled my inner-Kim...I knew I needed to make a fun day for the bambini - we picked out the Slip 'N Slide at Target the other day...a 20', curved slide that ends in a pool.  How do these people keep coming up with new designs every year???  This one worked beautifully, they have my admiration!

              Bryson, Micah, Tonio, Breanna, Lexy, Autumn, Hadley and Mariah stay cool on the Slip 'N Slide

                                                   The kids prepare to hit the slide!!!

                                         Cody, careems around the corner!! Wait, is 'careem' a word?

                                         Autumn does the same, if it is, indeed a word...

                                         And, Janene's son Brendon - playoff game tommorow! 

                                           Tonio, successfully traverses the corner!! 

                Well, let's see, ala Kimmy, I made her pasta salad, baked potatoes on the grill, grilled chicken, burgers and dogs, made homemade salsa, a relish tray, cut up watermelon and nearly held it together, but lost it a bit due to plumbing problems, a errant text and a stand off between boys and girls...but, we pulled it all back together, and like Kim would love to do, here is who helped:
           Andrea, Lexy and Breanna - thanks for some great mac-n-cheese! Janene, Brendon and Bryson - thanks for all of the chips and dip!!  Kim, Rashon, Mariah and Micah - thanks for the decadent cupcakes!!  Rashon just got an incredible tattoo on his arm to eclipse my latest!!

                            My boy, Cody, photographically journals my experience...I am not dropping the F-bomb in this photo, merely engaging in intelligent conversation with my friend, Dave...

                                My tribal tattoo...a little sore, here, but much better now - got it done on Kim's and my wedding anniversary last Saturday, May 21st...something we talked about for years...

                   

Dave did a great job on this tat, as well as, my last one - he does a fantastic job at his shop, Tattoo Artistry on Country Club and Pima - I've known Dave for over 16 years - he is a great guy and a wonderful artist!! And Autumn, sweet Autumn, has become my little RN...carefully scrubbing my tattoo each night and applying Aquafor to prevent infection...

But I digress...Also, helping us celebrate Memorial Day were Amy, Tom and Alex - making rice krispie treats, my kryptonite!! And Betsey, Brian, Hadley and Mitch - Brian swooping in to diagnose and help me fix broken kitchen cabinets and weight sets!!

Got the celebration food all cooked and displayed in my best Kimmy fashion...we did have a good time...

And Alex and Brendon decided to spend the night, as the boys chose to watch the classic vigilante film, Boondock Saints....Autumn, Tonio and I chose one of Kimmy's favorites, Finding Neverland, starring Johnny Depp, about the guy who wrote Peter Pan...if only Kim and I had been a part of the Lost Boys...

I don't have any fancy ending, or inspirational quote tonight, sorry...but, I can tell you, this Memorial Day, marks another milestone for me and the bambini and the friends and family that joined us, helped us through...and helped us to make a great memory...another 'greatest time'....

Love,

 Dave

The Journal

         Here we are with a Christmas journal entry!  Only 7 more months until Christmas!!  As I go about, cleaning, organizing, searching...I keep hoping, maybe, maybe I'll find a secret letter from Kimmy...but, I suspect, even Kim did not think it would go as fast as it did - 55 days from diagnosed to going to Heaven...

     December 25th 2003

            Merry Christmas!  Santa surprised us again - there were footprints by the fireplace from him and his reindeer!  The kids enjoyed opening their Kett car (Cody), a new princess bike (Autie) and baby toys galore (Antonio)!
           Grandma surprised us with a holiday visit this year so the children enjoyed her surprises as well.   We later walked to the park in our jammies (weather was 70 degrees) and watched the kids enjoy their new "rides".
           Then we went to the William's home to celebrate with them and their families (Angie, Mark, Andrea, Mario, Janene, Brad, Kristie, Ross, Kim and Rashon and kids!).  In the evening, we stopped by our friends, Vito and Rose's home to enjoy some holiday desserts and coffee.  A very special first Christmas or our little Antonio.

          These families have meant so much to us over the years, after we came her from Pennsylvania, knowing no one...Kim enjoyed our precious time with them and appreciated them all!

            And today, we spent our time enjoying their company again - having breakfast with Rose and Vito and Vito Jr, then over to Janene and Brad's for a BBQ with Andrea, Kim and Rashon and all of their kids - helping to keep us feeling a part of something special...

                                Janene gives Tonio pointers on the fine art of diving!  Who would have thought?  Just a couple months ago, Tonio couldn't even swim and now he's going off a diving board!!

                Janene and Brad got a new puppy!  A golden retriever named "Macie" - Brendon help her to the stairs as Autumn enjoys the show!

                                          Autumn, Lexy and Breanna perform water ballet!

             A great start to summer!!!  We are blessed!
                        Love,
                                Dave