Eight

               Eight.  I always like to equate how old you are, to famous athletes who wear that number.  Kim always got a kick out of that.  Not too many I can think of that wear # 46, but #8...that's a fine number!  And we are blessed to have Tonio turn 8 today!!
             Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitols (shout out to my niece, Natalie, a huge Caps fan!), Steve Young, 49er's, Yogi Berra, New York Yankees (tipping my cap to Mario, a Yanks fan), Dale Earnhart, Jr (and one for Brad), Gennaro Gatutso (Italian soccer player tragically head butted by Zidane silly frenchman), and my all time favorite baseball player...Cal Ripken Jr!  Should be a good year for Tonio!!

                                                       Yes!  A Juventus soccer ball!!

              It has been a blessed 8 years...I thank God everyday for little Antonio.  And how sweet he is, and caring and big hearted.  Even this morning, as I was in a full sweat, baking my 2nd cake (and first ever carrot cake) - he stopped playing with his toys to come in and ask me if I could use any help.  He's always looking to help others.  Just like his Mama...By around 11:00 a.m., I had things under control (cake done, couscous made, veggie tray and salad ready to go)...so we went up to Brueggers for breakfast.  Tonio enjoys the sausage and egg bagel there.

          We took all of Tonio's friends to Skate Country!  He's getting pretty good and had a fantastic time!

                                                 Mitchell negotiates the corner like a champ!
              While we were skating, I was reviewing what I had prepped at our house for dinner and activities...and realized, I'd forgotten Tonio's pinata!!  He's had one every year.  Usually, I'd go over to the south side on 12th or 6th avenue, where they have the largest pinatas and the best design selection, not to mention prices!  I couldn't believe I'd forgotten this piece of Tonio's birthday tradition...
              So, we went back to our house and Papa John's delivered pizzas, that I was able to pre-order online at 8 this morning - how convenient is that??  And I broke out the salad, veggies, sliced water melon, couscous, chips, pretzels, etc...and in walked Andrea, carrying a pinata full of candy!!

              Talk about saving the day!  I never had to let Antonio know that there was no pinata this year!! Whew.  Bullet dodged.  She swung by Party City on her way our to our house and found this awesome Buzz Lightyear pinata with retractable wings!

                         Tonio gets in some good swings as Bella shouts advice and encouragement!  Brian perches on the ladder to hold one side of the rope.

Breanna and Tonio give direction to Tanner, who burst the pinata!

                                                The resulting mayhem was wonderful to watch!  I cannot imagine Tonio's bday without a pinata...he had so much fun, as did all of the kids who got a swing at it!

                     Everyone was so thoughtful and generous to Tonio.  He got at least 10 Lego sets!!  And no duplicates!  Amy and Tom went to the Lego store and picked out a set you cannot find at Target or Toys R Us.  He set to work building as soon as he was done with his cake.  He loved the Sponge Bob Lego sets that Andrea gave him - the pineapple house and the Krusty Krab!  I didn't even know they made Sponge Bob Legos!  His favorite was the cobra given to him by his buddy, Monsi and Lupe and Manny. 

                                           Here's Tonio, making a wish!  Everyone was kind and said the cake tasted good (but it sure was ugly!!).  I told them it was a boxed mix.  For years, I'd tell Kim to use a boxed mix, that nobody would know..."I'd know."  she'd tell me.  End of discussion. 

                Janene had the honors of cutting the cake!  Here she is with Kim containing the kids after we pumped them full of sugar!

               Tonio did have a special day.  So many people joined in to help me make it a great one for him.  It was one of those last 'big holidays' that I was facing - and, as it seems happens with 'big ones', I am able to immerse myself in the preparation and details of the event and those who attend help me out and it goes smooth...I've found it's actually the smaller holidays/events that turn out to sneak up on you and kick the legs out from under you (like my birthday and Father's Day - by far the hardest days of the year for me so far) - the big holidays, you see them coming from so far away, that you have plenty of time to prepare and surround yourself with postive people.  That was my goal for Tonio today - and it worked out. You know, I worked hard on the detail for Tonio today, but, mostly did it for Kim - having watched her, over so many years, put special, personal touches on every birthday 'because it's your special day!'  she'd say, from the heart. 
         Cody made out good today, too, having Andrea's oldest, David and Janene's son, Brendon sleep over....the boys built a fort and are watching classic movies - first Scream 2 and now Crank 2...good times.
              I'm surprised he's actually tired and wanting to go to bed right now, asking me to stop writing to go out back to say goodnight to Mama.  He told me she sent him two happy birthday signs today - he found dove feathers in our back yard this morning and we had a light rain this afternoon, and he likes this time of year when the monsoon brings us some beautiful rain.  The weather left an incredible array of swirling clouds above our heads, illuminated by the moon...I strained to make sense of them, looking for meaning, but could not...the rain smells so beautiful, though and the bambini commented on it.

                   Happy 8th Birthday Antonio!  We love you!!

                        Love,
                             Dave

           PS Oh, yeh, I'm Andy Pettitte - #46.
    

More Little Things...

       As we head out of the weekend, and into the bambini's final week of summer, I'd like to reflect on some rememberances that surfaced over the last few days...

       Autumn has discovered Alphaville.  The group from Berlin, Germany, who had the hit single 'Forever Young' back in 1984.  It was a song that Kim loved, and that we slow danced to.  It held a special place in our hearts.  I won't go as far as to say it was 'our song' - you know, when you know someone for 33 years - one song just does not cut it.  We had many 'our songs'.  Forever Young will forever capture who we were back in the 80's, back when we really did not have a care in the world, except when we'd both be off of work and free to be together again.
      How Autumn came across Alphalville, is, that Cody found a remix of Forever Young by Jay Z.  I commented that it was a decent cover and her curiosity was piqued.  I dusted off the original CD, downloaded it for her, and she was hooked.  She loved the passion with which the songs are sung.  She loved the harmonizing...and then, I began to point out the lyrics, and how a lot of the songs reminded me of her Mama...
       A Victory of Love, was one of our favorites:
         

Hello
Is this heaven calling
Hello, hello, is somebody there, she must be somewhere
And then she says hello, hello, hello
She's really an angel
She stands in the sunshine
She's closing her eyes, she starting to dream
 

      I always told Kim, that, she was really an angel...for so many reasons, that I think I have clearly explained over the last 100 blogs or so.
     And then there was Sounds Like a Melody;
She's so soft and warm in my arms
I tune it into the scene
My hands are resting on her shoulders
When we're dancing away for a while
Oh we're moving, we're falling,
We step into the fire
By the hour of the wolf in a midnight dream
There's no reason to hurry
Just start that brand new story
Set it alight, we're head over heels in love,
Head over heels...

The ringing of your laughter
It sounds like a melody
To once forbidden places
We'll go for a while

It's the definite show
Our shadows resting in the moonlight
It's so clear and bright in your eyes
It's the touch of your sighs

    The song Fallen Angel had a lot of meaning to us...as did, of course, Forever Young.

Lets dance in style, lets dance for a while.
Heaven can wait were only watching the skies.
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young or let us live forever.
We dont have the power but we never say never.
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip.
The music's for the sad men.

Can you imagine when this race is won.
Turn our golden faces into the sun.
Praising our leaders were getting in tune.
The musics played by the madmen.

Forever young, I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever? forever and ever.

Forever young, I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever? for ever young.

Some are like water, some are like the heat.
Some are a melody and some are the beat.
Sooner or later they all will be gone.
Why dont they stay young?

Its so hard to get old without a cause.
I dont want to perish like a fading horse.
Youth is like diamonds in the sun.
And diamonds are forever.

So many adventures couldnt happen today.
So many songs we forgot to play.
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue.
We let them come true.

Forever young, I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever? forever and ever.

Forever young, I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever? forever and ever.

Forever young, I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever? forever.

     

        Back in the day, we did think we'd live forever. And we had so much to live for.  We always believed we would just be together, forever and that when it was our time to go, we'd go together.  Kim would get pretty intense whenever I had to fly somewhere for a meeting...I'd try to ask her questions, to see what was bothering her, and she once told me 'I'm afraid that something will happen to you.  That you'll leave without me.'.  She never wanted to fly separately, in case of plane crash.  She just wanted to be sure that we went together.  Kim would pack my suitcases full of talimans and good luck charms to bring me back safely.  She would even go so far as to give me one of her favorite earrings and tell me 'see, now you have to come back so that I can wear this pair of earrings again.'.  I don't know if it is exactly irony when I think of how things have actually turned out.  I just always thought it would go the way Kim said - she had such conviction and confidence that there could really be no other way.  Well, she did tell me, in such an apologetic way, that 'this isn't what we had planned', before she left...

      So, as I ran the bambini ragged over the weekend, it was to growing requests for different Alphaville songs...and each child had their questions as the songs wound down:  'Did you ever dance to this one?'...'Was this one of your favorites?'...'Do you remember the first time you and Mama heard this one?'...'What were you doing/where were you when you listened to this song?'...'What part of this song reminds you of Mama?'...it was a little more than I could bear...but what choice do I have?  So, I did my best to enjoy the music and remember...sweet Kimmy...

                  Another weekend happening...Mass at San Xavier...these two will not leave my side and seem to really enjoy going to the mission.  I introduced them to several regulars that I have seen at Mass each week that I go over the last 7 months...We bought candles..."It's my turn to light my candle in the church!", Antonio said.  "OK, I'll light mine next to Mama's picture in Mary's chapel", Autumn replied.  The young man who does such a nice job keeping the chapel clean was just finishing up...he gave us a hearty greeting and asked how we were today.  "Good", the little ones told him. "We're lighting candle for our Mama", Tonio explained.  And, while I thanked him for keeping Kimmy's photo dusted for me, Aut and Tonio set about selecting the perfect location for their candles, lit them, and said a prayer...

                 The kids were thankful for the man who helped keep the Mission clean, and took care of Mama's picture.  They wanted to walk up the mountain today, and we did so under some growing cloud cover, as our monsoon is in full swing.  Kim loved this time of year for the smells, the dramatic storms, and how everything grew with the quenching rains.  We passed closely by the still damp creosete bushes and they smelled incredible.

The large, white cross on the top of this mountain is obscured by clouds...

                   It was a good morning to be at Viro's, as we met Janene, Brad and their family, Autumn's teacher, Casey and her husband, Jack and Tammy, who works at Cottonwood, and her children.  We literally ate and talked for two hours...!  I was able to lament to Vito, Vito Jr and one of the employees, Nick, about Fabio Cannavaro retiring.  He was the captain of Italia's 2006 World Cup team and a long time star for Juventus in the Italian Serie A (USA equivalent of NFL), my favorite team. 
                   Kim and I had watched the championship match of the '06 World Cup at Viro's.  Vito brought in a large screen t.v., had Nike shirts emblazoned with the Italian soccer team's insignia on the front and Viro's logo on the back, which he handed out to all of us.  We got pretty loud and it was a great time!
                   This morning, I just remembered how much Kim looked forward to going to Viro's after church.  Visiting with Rosa and Vito and eating and relaxing.  Now, it is nice to go there to meet up with friends and family.  I've told you how good the food is, but, also, when you walk through their door...it just feels like you are home...
                   We ate well, and then I took the bambini over to visit Angie and to see how her bionic knee was healing.  She's getting around very well with her walker and was in great spirits (no surprised there!).  We brought her some cannolis to help along the healing process!
                
                  Tomorrow is Tonio's birthday...the big 8.  And it will be a particularly challenging one for him...he told me several times this weekend, that he just wants to see Mama in person.  Today, he said 'My birthday is on a Monday this year.  Isn't that the day Mama died?'  And: "It will be on a different day next year?  Good."  We let him open a gift tonight, as is our tradition. Cody gave him a big City Lego set!  He quickly got to work building that, despite it being 10:00 p.m. and having had a looonnnngggg day running...
                I keep telling him he's got to get to bed, so that his birthday can start...we went out to say goodnight and Tonio blew so many kissed skyward, I nearly had to go back inside...the bambini loved the cool temps tonight, but were sad they could not see the Big Dipper...and now, Cody and Autumn are helping me decorate for Antonio's big day...

                   Love,
                        Dave

Rattlesnakes and Lazer Tag!

              The rain affects many things in our lives...our backyard is lusher.  Spent a little more time grooming and getting Kimmy's garden closer to how beautiful she kept it...The animals are more active.  Tonio and I took Bella for a walk early this morning and counted 11 chipmunks, 3 rabbits, lots of quail and too many lizards to count.  There was still a lot of standing water in the wash, too.
              Andrea's van.  Well, maybe it wasn't the rain that made her need new tires, but, none the less, we went to pick up Breanna and Lexy while she went to take care of the van!  Autumn and Antonio were so excited to get to spend another day with these two!
             Rain does make the grass grow.  And when we all pulled up at Angie's home, to check on her new bionic knee, Mark was busy cutting the grass out front.  He has their front yard looking like one out of a magazine.  Two tiered, framed with railroad ties, the grass golf course perfect.  But, the rain also brings the humidity, making cutting grass a perspiring proposition.  Angie is doing remarkably well and she was excited to see her grandchildren and feed us eclairs (anybody find Tastyklairs anywhere??), chocolate covered strawberries and blueberry muffins!!!   Tonio made Angie get well cards, and took a picture of one.  He used various sized lines to fill in his happy guy and proudly told me that 'Mama taught me how to do this'.

             Rain makes us hungry.  Despite the treats, we needed food and went to Viro's for the Italian Wedding Soup.  Rosa and Vito just returned from the east coast (how ironic, going from that humidity and coming back to our monsoon humidity), where they got to check out Niagra Falls (Kimmy and I enjoyed the falls in 1989), the Statue of Liberty and all of the NYC sights (we made it to the city multiple times).  And they were excited to see all of the bambini.

            Rain makes the bambini grow.  And Tonio turns 8 on Monday, so we all went from Viro's to the dollar store and stocked up on party favors for his bash (thanks for the tip, Kim!).  But, we hadn't any rain yet, so the kids were thirsty - Eegee's!!  The flavor of the month is watermelon and Breanna talked Tonio and Autumn into trying it today - they loved it!
           And, rain brings out the snakes!

              I went out to my truck, barefoot, passing this guy by no more than a foot and never saw it...until I was heading back inside!  I am not a snake killer ('A man's got to know his limitations' Clint Eastwood), so, I quickly called my neighbor Brian, a direct descendant of St. Patrick, the most feared snake killer in history.  He came over with his long shovel and took the snake's head off with one blow!!

                                                             Snake nuggets anyone?

                  And, the rain shuts down amusement parks.  We went to Funtastics tonight.  I had 7 in my car, we met Brad and he had 3 of his kids, and Bianca and her husband David, there.  The kids were looking forward to race cars, bumper boats, etc.  As we approached, a hellacious monsoon eclipsed us.  Funtastics closed it's outdoor operation for the night, so we could only play video games and play lazer tag.  We played two rounds of lazer tag and had a blast, running through their 3 level game field.  Breanna and Tonio were so cute, protecting each other. And Brad's son, Tanner, was a terror - he killed me four times in a row before I finally got him once and ran in the opposite direction!  David was the highest scorer among us and seemed to materialize out of no where and blast you.  It was a good workout and the kids all had a great time.

                 The rain cools things off...and it was beautiful, stepping out back tonight - everyone stayed awake - and it smelled so good.  The clouds were beautiful, but we could not see the stars.  The rain made Tonio feel sad - 'I miss Mama', he told us and we hugged him as we looked to the sky to tell Kim goodnight...

              Love,
                      Dave

Field Trips

             Today was a day of field trips...I started off with Bella, running her through a soaked desert - listening to the bleating of the frogs, brought back to life by the monsoon. They are a little eerie...almost goat-like in sound.  The wash behind our neighborhood still had plenty of water in it, something we see twice a year if we are lucky. 
            When I got home, Tonio and Autumn were awake - I told them I had a special gardening project for them.  I had finally gotten around to reviving Kim's succulent garden, buying each of them a succulent to plant.  They chose a pot and got busy!

                            Bella just wants to play ball...she wishes she could plant a succulent, but, alas...no thumbs!

                           I have another one for Cody to do, too, which will fill in this plant holder nicely.  Kim used it to beautify our back porch...it's been empty for too long...the little ones sure had a nice time planting these!

                         In the afternoon, our next field trip was to...Viro's!  For this trip, we took the neighborhood - Mario dropped us Lexy and Breanna in the morning and Betsey, Amy and their kids met us out front around 1 to caravan down to Viro's for lunch.  There were 11 of us.  Robert, at Viro's, immediatly set the kids up with drinks and helped us figure out what they wanted to eat.  We had an incredible amount of food, but the kids all found room for gelato!!  We hung out until nearly 3....

                        Much later, we took a field trip to Kino Veteran's Memorial Stadium (formerly known as TEP).  A nice field.  We watched our Tucson Padres defeat the Reno Aces - they used to be the Tucson Sidewinders, until our city let them leave town.  The Padres won 6-3!  It was dollar hot dog night!!

                                                           First, we sat in the bleachers...

                                            Then the kids rolled down the grass hill by 3rd base for awhile...

         

  We decided that grown men should NOT bring baseball gloves to baseball games!!

                        After the game, our final field trip...Circle K!  The kids are always up for that!!  We got home around 11.  Autumn and I just stepped out to say goodnight to Mama - well, I guess that is our final field trip for the day, but, actually, it is after midnight, so I suppose it counts for Thursday...
                     The air was cool and the fresh smell of rain hung in the air...we could not see the Big Dipper tonight, but nearly said at the same time how beautiful the clouds looked tonight...

                          Love,
                               Dave

Monsoon Madness!

          The monsoon is here!  It makes the bambini go aboriginal, or something.  The first day, I called them out to see the rain, the boys ripped off their shirts and went tearing off into the blinding down pour, hooting and hollering like savages...
          
         Today, was not much different.  The winds picked up.  The Rincon Mountains were obscured by dark, ominous clouds.  And then, it hit!  The monsoon of the season!  Blowing Antonio's lid off of his turtle sandbox.  Sending Bella into a panic, as she realized she had stayed outside a moment too long.  The rain coming down sideways.  Loud, thunderous cracks, as our neighbors, Amy and Tom, saw the tree behind their home struck by lightning and obliberating their block wall.

         As it subsided, our doorbell rang...Kim's relatives arriving.  Her Aunt Beverly, who moved from California to Texas nearly 6 years ago...has a son, Kyle, Kim's cousin.  His wife, Jodi, who has been such an inspiration to our family, constantly sending supportive messages, well, her mom and dad are traveling from California to Texas to visit and have Kyle and Jodi's daughters, Sarah and Lucy with them, stopped by.  I whipped up some marinara sauce and angel hair pasta, with bread and salad to greet them with.
        A few months ago, Jody told me, her mom could make the bambini some bears.  Have them choose their favorite shirt Kim used to wear and her mom, Andi, would make it into a teddy bear!
        So, one day, about a month ago, I finally was able to do this.  And Cody picked Kim's pink, leopard skin print, pj's.  Autumn chose her Motown t-shirt and Tonio, a beach print t-shirt Kim had bought at Laguna beach.  I did not tell them why we were sending these shirts off...Today, Andi arrived with their surprise!

             Andi surprised me by taking what was left of Kim's pj's and combined them with what was left of Kim's Motown t-shirt to make me a beautiful bear, too...What heartfelt, wonderful keepsakes the bambini have!! Tonio proclaimed that his was named 'Ocean', "because Mama loved the ocean".  They each carried theirs off to bed tonight, to hold close and to remember...
            Meanwhile, the rains had left water...a lot...in our 'hood.  The bambini doned their boots and headed out...splasing in the wash area next to Betsey and Brian's house.

                      Tonio looked as lost as I feel tonight when I snapped this photo...big boots...striped shirt...checked pants...wtf?  I couldn't help him.  They all had fun finding snails, dead snakes and splashing throught the waters....
                   The temperature was incredible after the storm...from 106 down to 70 degrees in minutes.  The rain so good for Kimmy's garden...I can't wait to wake up and work on her flowers.

                   Music.  Brings memories back.  Alphaville, a group from Berlin, Germany, who had a hit single back in 1984 called 'Forever Young' seems to be plaguing me lately.  I originally bought this ALBUM for Kim back in 1984 and bought her the CD in 1987 or so.  It was one of her favorites, and, because of this, one of mine.  Recently, I've come across numberous covers of 'Forever Young'...and I'm finally downloading this CD to our Ipod and listening to it and remembering, as I go...

                    One of the things I miss most, right now, is just the casual conversation Kim and I enjoyed.  Talking about nothing, but loving it.  And the almost absent minded way that her hand would search out my hand - reassuring that we were really there, together...and the scent of her vanilla spray...Some days, in a crowd, I catch a whiff of her and I just close my eyes, knowing she is close, feeling her presence...and when I open my eyes...she is gone...

                       Love,
                              Dave
          

Academia De Baile

            I think the thing I love most about Tucson, is how it has held on to culture.  There is so much of it throughout this city, deep and rich...
            Perhaps this is what drew Kim and I to Tucson, and kept us here, making it our home all of these years. 
           We were blessed to get to see Lexy and Breanna dance in the 10th Annual Academia De Baile Recital.  This organization, teaches traditional dance to children and young adults - they've put on performances around the community, at half-time for the Phoenix Suns, pre-shows for the Diamondbacks, church fiestas and at nursing homes.  They learn how to dance traditional Hispanic dances, as well as, classical and contemporary styles.
           Lexy and Breanna worked hard leading up to their recital.  Beginning in September and then having extra classes leading up to the July performance.  They were excited to be in this performance.  Before the show, Lexy told me she was a little bit nervous, but knew she would have fun.
          The recital was held at the Music Hall, part of the Tucson Convention Center.  There must have been two thousand people there.  We got there early and Andrea helped us to get in the 6th row!  So we had great seats. There were at least 15 of us there to see the girls perform tonight.
         A mariachi band started the show off.  One of the trumpet players looked to be about 6 or 7 years old and played beautifully.  All of the kids were lined up in there seats, bopping up and down to the music. 
        After some traditional dances from Spain, Breanna came on for a 'It's a Small World' dance number.  She looked so cute, dressed as the U.S.A. representative (center) - Andrea's cousin, Jack, did a fantastic job decorating it (even including a peach sunset, in memory of Kim) and Andrea jazzed it up, so that it was the neatest display on stage!
        You could tell Breanna enjoyed the number and did not miss a beat during the show!

Throughout the performances, it was as if Kim was smiling and winking at us the whole time.  Small World was her favorite ride at Disneyland.  And the girls performed Mamma Mia! and Moulin Rouge, two of her favorite movies.  There was also a song from Phantom of the Opera, another of her favorites.  During one of the scene changes, the intermission song was 'What a Wonderful World', by Louis Armstrong and I was sure Kim was there...and it was nice, especially being surrounded by my southwest family...

Lexy performed wonderfully, as well.  Here she is doing a Michael Jackson number (1st on left).

I really enjoyed the Viva Mexico portion, featuring traditional music and dances from Mexico.  The costumes were very colorful and elaborate - so much work went into making them.  The back drop was a beautiful little village in Mexico...it made you want to be there.  Even Lexy and Breanna's cousing, Trinity, got to join them onstage for special dances.

                  The chance to be a part of this was a nice honor.  The bambini all enjoyed it, they like to learn more about the history here and the culture...I wish I could get Autumn to sign up (she used to dance with Lexy when they were 4-5 years old)...but she told me 'One problem Dad...stage fright!'.  

                Thanks Lexy and Breanna!  Great job!!

                  Love,
                      Dave

July 3rd...

              The circus is in town.  Kimmy loved a circus.  We'd go every year.  And, like Easter, it is hard to predict exactly when the circus will be here.  We've seen in in June, for Father's Day...and for my birthday.  We've gone there on Tonio's birthday, on July 11th...today, it was today. July 3rd.  And it was fun!
               I told Tonio, this was an early birthday present for him...he was so excited - and to go with his buddy Bryson and Janene, Brad and their family, was a huge bonus!  We got there early, to see the circus animals close up.

                                Antonio and Autumn were excited to be this close to the elephants!

                                    The tigers were having a good time rolling around!

                                  This was a cool horse/zebra looking thing called a 'fjord'.  I can't even pronounce that!

                     After we all previewed the animals, we headed over to the main hall to see the peformers close up in the 'pre-circus'.

                         Tanner, Brendon, Cody, Tonio, Bryson, Autumn and Taylor sit front row to watch the clowns perform!

                                                          The elephants were awesome!!
               As I said, Kim loved the circus, and we tried to go every year.  She particularly loved the clowns.  So much so, that she once considered going to clown school and joining the circus!  She did her research and found the Barnum and Bailey Clown School in New York and actually requested literature about the school!  She considered going to it...her favorite part of the circus was always the clowns - their carefree ways and she loved how they made others smile, just like she did...

                   Autumn took both of these shots, she remembered that her Mama was a big clown fan!

               Kim would have loved Brendon and Cody as clowns!  They had their clown noses on for most of the show, enjoying the circus!!

               Last year, on July 3rd, Kim wanted to go to the Tucson Museum of Art.  It is open free, to the public, every first Sunday of the month.  She had done her research.  July 3rd was a Sunday last year, too.  And the final day to go see the Andy Warhol exhibit.  They would also have Keith Haring, a Kutztown Univeristy grad (where Kim had studied art), on exhibit.  She was excited.  

              
              The bambini ended up loving the Warhol exhibit, especially Cody.  These little ones have Kim's art talent...so they enjoy seeing art and making art...it was a nice exhibit - I'm glad we had a chance to go - we had been meaning to see our Tucson Museum of Art for years, but, never seemed to make it downtown to do that.  Kim had done her research on this one and we were able to enjoy the final day of the Warhol show for free.  She had that magic. 

                 When we left the circus today, I asked the bambini if they had enjoyed themselves.  They thanked me for taking them to the circus and said that they had fun. What did you like best about the circus, I asked them 'the tiger show', Antonio told me - me too!, I let him know.  Cody was dissappointed that they did not have the motorcycles this year and that they sang more - seemed more Broadway musical than circus acts.  But, he said, he still had fun.
                  We all headed out to go to a little diner that Kim had found years ago up Broadway called Chaffin's...only to find that it had gone out of business!  We ended up at a great sandwhich place called Kenny D's...and it worked out fine.

                 Later on, I sat out back and watched one of our early monsoons whipping through Tucson.  The lightning was incredible, spreading out across the sky and shooting bolts down to earth.  The thunder ripped its way throught the night sky, the sound booming from the east and rolling to the west.  The rain made the creosote bushes in the desert emit a wonderful, clean fragrance.  It was so nice...
               When we went to say goodnight, around 11:30, the bambini commented on the beautiful smell of the moist air...and the beauty of the clouds moving overhead...and thanked me for their day, as they said sweet dreams to their Mama...
                 Love,
                    Dave

Shoes!

                  This morning...more flowers, more yardwork...Kimmy's garden is making progress!!  I put in some more portulacas on our front porch, in the St. Francis bird bath and added a pot of them beneath the olive tree...'deadheading'...Kim hated to dead head flowers and now I know why - I began this process, this morning and it takes time...but, she swore by it, to make the garden look pretty and to make more flowers grow.

                  But, no dirty feet in the shower (thank you God for these cleansing waters...)!!!

                  Here we are, at the bottom of the 5 flights of stairs we will race up to see Angie...wearing sneakers!!  Much easier to run the stairs in sneakers...but, despite my improved foot gear, Autumn won the race...

                 In the hallway, I spotted one of the RN's, Will, who had inpsired Kim and who had worked very hard to keep Kim comfortable during her stay.  I found out he was Angie's nurse that day and he said she was doing great and should be able to go home Saturday.  Will likes to ride through Fantasy Island,  the rugged desert bike trail near our house, and we exchanged numbers to see if he, Cody and I could go out there and tear it up one day! 

               It was nice to know Will was taking care of Angie...Autumn and Tonio accompanied me to come and say hi...Autumn noticed right away that Angie's room was right across the hall from where Mama stayed - she thought that was nice.  Angie had a gallery of nice artwork from her Grandkids and we ran into Kristie, Kim, Mario and their little ones while we were there.  It was a good visit, good to see Angie healing.  Good to put behind more ghosts...

             When we left, we raced down the stairs, heading for the basement.  Autumn was interested in getting something to eat from their cafeteria...!  She's so funny.  Anyway, on the way down, the bambini hootin' and hollerin' (great acoustics in the stairways!), they passed Dr. Atkinson, who had taken out Kim's gallbladder and discovered the cancer in her liver.  I stopped and talked to him - he said people still talk about Kim nearly every day and the impact she had on their lives.  I let him know that we think of him, and the other Dr's, nurses, techs, etc, who made a difference for Kim and us - you know, you want to visit these good people - only, the hospital isn't one of those places that is conducive for visiting those who not only aren't sick, but who are working hard to help the sick!  We talked about cheesesteaks.  Remember, he is from Bristol, Pa, north Philadelphia, where my Dad grew up...

            Down in the basement, Autumn loaded up on potatoes and then we headed back out into the sunshine...the bambini smiling, joking, saying it was good to see Angie and they were glad she was doing well...

           Prayers work kids - I told them.  Sometimes they may not seem to, but they do...and they nodded their sweet little heads in agreement, their eyes never leaving mine, searching my eyes for smiles...

            Love,

                      Dave

          

5th Floor St. Joseph's

          I woke early today...and worked in Kimmy's garden...adding a bougevalia and a 'monkey bush' or yellow trumpet bush...
          As I showered (thank you Lord for these refreshing waters running over me....), I realized how dirty my feet were...how'd they get so dirty?? 
         Stairs.  I went back to St. Joseph's yesterday, slipping in a little used side door that I had found when Kim was being taken care of on the 5th floor - able to avoid the main entrance, where I had left her parked in her wheel chair one morning, while I went to park the car, coming back to find her praying with Monsignor Tom - beamining, revitalized...with hope.
         I prepared to run up the 5 flights of stairs, glanced down....damn.  Flip flops.  Two days in a row...what was I thinking?  I ran one flight in them before kicking them off and doing the final four bare foot.
       A little winded at the top, I opened the door and entered the 5th floor waiting room...and time stopped...I couldn't remember the day or immediately why I was there or what room I was going to as I glided down the hallway...remembering...
       I came across Jesse, one of the wonderful techs who was incredibly helpful to Kim and our family - always doing extra, without being asked - making the bambini laugh, bringing them ice cream and drinks...he embraced me, asked me how I was doing...and I asked 'how is she?'...'how is who?' perplexed...
       And I was back.  I explained that I was here to see Angie and that she had her knee replaced.  He told me she was doing great!  And walked me to her room.
       I noticed it was directly across the hallway from Kim's room...
      
      Angie is doing great.  She's one of those hardworking, optimistic, non-complaining types...and it was a relief to see her.  They had strapped her knee into this boot looking apparatus that auto excercised her knee.  As it came towards her body, she would grimace, ever so slightly....'OK?'...she would smile and nod.  Her daughter Kristie was there with her little ones, Trinity and Richie and they were wonderful to watch, making me realized that I missed the bambini.
       It was the first time in several weeks that I was without them and I missed them.  As I sat there visiting with Angie, I remembered the days visiting with Kim.  I would miss the kids so badly while I visited with her, losing all track of day, time, missing meals...until Angie or one of her daughters would walk in with a meal for me...
      So it was nice that Kristie's little ones were there today.  The bambini were being taken care of by our friends Monique and Joe, who kept them fed and had them swimming all day...

      It was nice to sit there visiting with Angie and Kristie, knowing that Angie was healthy and her doctors feeling that she was doing great.  And she may get to come home today. Thank God. I vowed that when I visited her, I would make sure to be wearing sneakers, to better run the stairs.  And by the end of my visit, I felt comfortable with the 5th floor.  At peace... Those wonderful nurses and techs comforting so many....
      
          Love,
                  Dave

    

The Third Floor...St. Joseph's...

          "We taking the stairs Dad?"  Is there any other way?  We looked at our feet...flip flops.  What the hell were we thinking?  Flip flops are not exactly great stair running shoes, yet, we knew we had to make the best of things...it's become our way, along our new journey...and up we went...only three flights, but, I was winded - it's been awhile...

           Today, Angie had knee surgery.  I told her I'd be in that 3rd floor waiting room, where I had been so many times while Kimmy was in surgery, praying for her.  Autumn insisted that she wanted to come, too.  "Wake me up, Daddy, I will pray with you for Angie." she told me as she got ready for bed near midnight last night.  The only thing I couldn't decide, as I tucked her in, was which rosary to bring...and the thought entered my mind, before I could stop it "especially since, none of them seemed to work, for Kim"...I work hard each day to block out thoughts like that.  Unproductive thoughts...they aren't 'functional' as Kim would have joked.  They just bring the darkness... And besides, I knew that the prayers would help - I've come to believe that God does answer all of our prayers...it's just that, sometimes the answer is 'no'.

           I woke Aut at 6:30 and we snuck out...driving the same route we did 100 years ago when we would be racing to see Kim.  As we looked for parking, in the garage, "I Need a Dr" came on the Ipod...Kimmy's sweet voice, haunting me...The security guard in the garage, had to steer me towards the stairs...I told him I hadn't had any coffee yet..
          We hit the top of the stairs, entering the 3rd floor waiting room...across the room, my eyes saw Mark, already sitting there, but, my mind was looking over his shoulder, to that spot where Dr. Atkinson had met me following Kim's gall bladder surgery and explained to me that he had found cancer...sending me spiralling, as the room swirled and turned...
          ...and then I was back.  We sat with Mark, Janene and Kristie - and the mood was much lighter than when they all had been there to sit with me and support me and pray for Kim when she was having her sugeries - we were able to talk, laugh and drink coffee (and have Breakfast Jacks - thanks Kristie!).  It was good to be in the presence of such positive people, and although I cringed each time the phone rang, jarring another memory, I felt that I was putting to rest the waiting room demons that sometimes plague me. It took about two hours, but, sure enough, Dr. Dixon came out smiling.  He told us that Angie had absolutely no cartiledge left in her knee!  But that he felt the surgery went well.  We all smiled, too.  The prayers had worked.  I had chosen a rosary made from rose petals, that our friends, Ursula and Sam had brought back from the Vatican, today...and the answer was 'yes'.

           Autumn insisted that we go into ICU to say hi to Dr. McCarten, the Dr. in charge of ICU who was so inspirational to our family and worked tirelessly to save Kimmy, and Deborah and Vivian, who work on that ward, too.  We found Dr. McCarten, who warmly welcomed us and found that it was Deb's day off and that Vivian was covering up on the 4th floor of the Women's Center, where Kim had convalesced following her gall bladder surgery.  As we made our way up there, we ran into Wendy, the hospital chaplain, who took us on a quicker, back route to find Vivian.  She was happy to see us...
           Wendy led us back to the elevator, where we said our goodbyes...as the elevator door opened, a lady asked us 'are you coming on board?'...Autumn and I looked at each other and both said at the same time "no thank you, we're taking the stairs!"  and bolted.

           We sat out front, on a stone bench near the statue of St Joseph's for awhile, talking, reflecting. We were both a little emotionally spent, after our 3 hour visit. The stairs hadn't changed.  The waiting room still held it's memories of those desparate days.  But, today, we were able to leave feeling relieved.  Happy.  Wishing Angie a speedy recovery!

               Love,
                    Dave

Breakers Water Park

              We've always loved a good water park - Dorney Park built a great one.  Wild Water Kingdom.  Disney World had River Country, back in the day.  When we moved to Tucson, we liked to go to Breakers.
                There was one summer, where, we would go out to Breakers once a week.  We only had Cody and Autumn.  And Autumn was so little, we had to keep her in the little kiddee section...Kim would pack a nice lunch, like a big sandwhich, snacks and drinks for us all and we would spend the whole day there soaking up the sun and letting the bambini enjoy splashing in the water.
                Some times, Kim and I would get to go down the raft ride together - her laughing the whole way down and me just enjoying the sound of her laughter.  And, other times, we'd sit together at the edge of the wave pool, letting the wave rush over us, keeping us cool and watching Cody and Autumn play.
                The times we went, the bambini were so little, or could not swim, so we spent a great deal of time in the kiddee zone...taking turns with Cody on the bigger slides and tube rides.  And holding onto the kids as we ventured into the wave pool.
                 I remembered it all today, as we took the bambini out to Breakers with us.  Brendon slept over at our house last night.  He and Cody played Guitar Hero until the wee hours of the morning.  I went to bed after 1 and they were still going strong!  We met Janene and her kids, Bryson and Brad's kids,  Taylor and Tanner there around 10 and Karen, Kallie and Matt met us there soon after.
                Janene smuggled in many snacks and drinks for the kids, to keep them going...and the kids had so much fun riding all of the different slides and tube rides.  Janene, Karen and I sat in the surf, keeping cool and relaxing.

                   The wave pool, so cool and relaxing letting the waves run your over...

                       Cody enters the pool at the bottom of the tube ride.

                   Here comes Tonio!  His first ride down the slides!!  He was hooked!

             
                I was so proud of him.  He quickly oriented himself, gathered up his mat and raced for the top to do it all over again!!.

                               Bryson and Tonio enjoy the double tube, as Janene and Karen pull them through the wave pool.

                   Tonio's the tiny speck at the bottom of this killer slide...

                  Here comes Janene's step -daughter, Taylor, racing down the slide!

   Check out this video of Cody cruising down this slide!  He actually gets air for a brief moment, before reconnecting with  the water and having a great slide!

             And Autumn!  Oh my gosh, last July, when Kim and I took the bambini, we had to literally be with Autumn and Tonio the entire time...this year, they can swim and had so much fun exploring the freedom being able to swim brings...I still can't believe they both went down this slide, and here is Aut cruising down!!   I almost had to hide my eyes, fearing she would fly off of this thing...but who would have taped her then?

              Thanks so much Janene, for setting up this fun filled day for us....!

                             Love,
                                    Dave
PS, and right now, only Autumn and I are awake to say goodnight to Mama...but, Autumn points out, there are clouds covering the Big Dipper...'but they sure are pretty', she told me...

Reid Park Zoo

          The elephant habitat is the focal point as you approach the zoo via 22nd st...you cannot miss it.  They've erected a large, metal piece of elephant-like art work on the corner, marking the edge of the project.  Each week, you can see the progress being made and the bambini are anxious to see the completed work.  They remember that their Mama was a part of the petitions and drive to keep our elephants.  Kim thought they were an integral addition to our zoo and did not want to see them go.  And, she was able to help this project grow legs - she was so excited when the effort won passage and the funds had been secured to build the elephant's a new home that would satisfy the latest requirements for elephants in capacity.  The Philadelphia Zoo couldn't even keep their elephants - Kim was ecstatic to have been a part of the winning effort to keep ours in Tucson!
            This morning, we said we'd meet everyone around 9ish at the zoo entrance...Karen joked 'does that mean I leave my hotel at 9?'  Exactly.  However, the morning was tricky and soon, it was 9:30 and I was just leaving to pick up Lexy and Breanna from Mario...we detoured, briefly, for breakfast jack's at Jack in the Box...and coffee for me, and made it to the zoo by 10:00 - but, we pulled in just as Janene and Kristie were unloading...Karen and Betsey were already camped out in front of the zoo.
          Between us, we had 14 kids, ready to get into that zoo and to see some animals...the tiger exhibit was empty, with a crew working on the fencing...it looked as though a tiger or two had broken free...The girls always move quickly to get to the giraffes, one of Kim's favorite stopping points.  We made it in time to feed the giraffes.  Each child got a handful of carrots from a long time zoo employee, Jed.  After they made their way in, I introduced myself to Jed - reminding him of a time, at least five years ago, where my family came to feed the giraffes, Kimmy leading the way and getting there moments late.  Jed saw the dissappointment on Kimmy's face and the bambini and told us, 'follow me'.  He proceeded to take us behind the scenes to the polar bear home, and we were able to pet the polar bear through the chain link fence.  Next, we went to the backdoor of the rhino habitat, where he had the kids feed the rhinos and showed them how to pet them on their horns.  It was an incredible experience we've never forgotten.  Jed was thankful that I took the time to remind him of that day...    

                         The giraffe nips at Tonio's head...Breanna Autumn and Lexy enjoyed feeding the giraffes!
                       The kids lingered at the polar bear exhibit, as the huge bear put on quite a show for us today, stomping around the rock area of his home and then plunging into the waters right in front of the protective glass that the kids stood behind. 
                       As it got hotter, we sought shelter in the zoo's little water park.  I think the kids would have stayed there all day if we had let them!

                     There are fountains and sprinklers in this area and it sure helped to cool the kids off and keep them going for the second half of the zoo.  The otters sure were frisky today!

             Trinity, Taylor and Lexy got their faces painted like giraffes at the zoo school!
             It's such a great zoo, just the right size, nice exhibits with good variety of animals, plenty of shade for these hot days...and they had each other, to enjoy and to laugh and to make a great memory...the kids had a super time today...
            Love,
                    Dave