"What would we be without these three?"...

        April 21st 2004

                         "It's been awhile since we've jotted "news" down.

                          Where to begin...
                          Antonio is now 9 months old and has 2 bottom front teeth!  He eats anything you let him!!  Hi favorites so far...Italian Wedding soup, any type of pasta, gelato, pancakes, skittles, chocolate chip cookies and all the good stuff he shouldn't have until he turns 1!!  What can ya do with 2 older siblings 'helping' out!?!
                         Last week, he was still happy being a buddha.  This week, he's crawling EVERYWHERE!!  Yikes!  He pulls himself up to a standing position as well.  Now the fun begins.
                       He still remains easy going, happy Tonio though - in spite of all of Autumn's 'in your face' lovin'. 
                      What would we be without these 3..."

                      I ask myself that every day!!

                     I think of Kim a lot, of course, but especially on Friday's when I go to San Xavier.  And clean off her picture on Mary's altar.  And light candles there and in the main church.  And try to relate the scripture to my daily life.  And soak in the absolute beauty, peace and tranquility of the church and it's surroundings.  It is incredible.  I snapped a shot of the Mission school children filing in for this morning's Mass.

                   Every step up the hill next to the Mission hurts...but it is nothing compared to what He suffered for me.  And to feel sorry for myself, would be to lose.  One day I will run up this hill...but not today, not yet...
                  Love,

                           Dave

No text needed!

                   Nine months.  Still seems like yesterday...those memories of the final night seared into my brain and my heart.  The hope in Kimmy's eyes...the last kiss, our eyes locked, our hands entwined, pulling back until our fingertips touched...and then released for the last time...
                  I remember.  Believe me, I do not need a text to remind me!  And, with the NFL back in full swing, it brings back the memory of that game where the Eagles beat up on the Cowboys on 12/12, Kim cheering all the way!  This weekend, the Eagles beat up on the Rams.  Lesean McCoy the hero of that game.  Kim's favorite. I saw an ambulance in the wee hours of the morning and it brought it all flooding back...

                   Here is the view that greeted me this morning around 6:30 a.m., after I exited the 10 (how west coast I've become!  no one calls it 'the 95' back east, it is I-95.  Out here, instead of I-10, as the signs indicate, the LA folk have us all saying 'the 10') and was blessed with this view of the sunrise at Orange Grove and Thornydale.  Thank you Lord for the sunrise, for beating back the darkness and bringing us into the light.  Waiting for the sun.  Tonio sees Kim in almost all the beautiful things that he sees each day.  It is amazing his total recall, as he tells me 'Mama said hello to me today' and recounts exactly what he saw and why he felt it was Mama speaking to him.  And why not?  This shot of the clouds, with the sun peeking through?  Classic Kimmy.  But really, I don't need reminders about the anniversary of her passing, and I'm sure that is no surprise, given our relationship ( and I only received one text about it, but it got me thinking, satirically, about what response to such a text would be appropriate..."WTF?  Did you think I'd forgotten?  Or wanted to celebrate?", of course, I refrained...The fact is, I have ways to remember Kimmy, and the way things went down...in a positive light.  I've gotten my arms around it.

                I found this man, when I went upstairs today at Barnes & Noble.  I thought "if I were to fall asleep, in public, I would want someone to photograph me to commemorate the occasion.".  So I did.  I asked my team; "What would you say about this?"  "Sleep America?  No, Barnes & Noble!", answered Eric, who works in receiving.  "Can I draw on him?" asked Lisa.  "Sure."  I told her.  My neighbor, Amy, said she would take those mini marshmallows, soften them up in her mouth and adhere them to his exposed back.  This way, it would give maximum visual effect, but not wake him up.  I liked this plan.

The sunset, and evening have been incredible.  Beautiful, as the sun kissed the clouds, creating all sorts of pinks and peaches - as Father Harry promised us, would be Kimmy in our midst.  And then the rain hit.  Like it has over the last few days, fast and furious, with wicked lightning strikes and high winds. 

The aftermath is almost as good as the fury of the storm, too.  The night so cool.  The moon so bright.  The remaining clouds, wafting slowly across the jet black sky, illuminated by the moon.  The smells, so incredibly acute and wonderful...And the bambini, raising their sweet, little faces nightward, and wishing their Mama good night.  And sweet dreams.  And telling her how much they miss her...

Love,

Dave

PS Emilio sent me a picture of his girl, Brinley, decked out in Bengals garb...his good luck charm!!  Mary, she is beautiful!

                                 Sweet, little blessing!!  And, hey, if she helps the Bengals win, too?? BONUS!!

Cody in the Kitchen

              
              After a challenging day, we all found comfort in the kitchen.  Cody and I set out to make dinner - I told him how we used to make a nice, chunky salsa back in the day...and he went to town!

              2 large, ripe tomatoes
              1 14 oz can petite diced tomatoes with juice
              1 lime
              A ton of cilantro, chopped
              1/4 cup of green onion, chopped
              garlic powder to taste
              salt and ground pepper to taste
              1 4 oz can of diced jalapenos
          
              Dice those tomatoes up in a big bowl and add the can of tomatoes, squeeze the juice of the lime into it, add the cilantro, green onion and stir.  Add in the garlic powder, salt and pepper, stirring and taste testing until you find the right mix.  Stir in the jalapenos, if you want a little kick!  Cody nailed this recipe!!
              It was nice working with him in the kitchen.  Another area where he is a lot like Kim.  He is comfortable and a natural around food and cooking!  We also were able to get some much needed yard work done together!
             I made enchiladas to go along with Cody's chips and salsa and corn on the cob.  Autumn was very helpful, setting the table, getting the drinks and bringing the food to the table for us.  Antonio, from his sick bed, sensed the energy in the kitchen calling out "Dad?  Is there anything I can do to help?".

            He still had his low grade fever this morning when we got to school and was feeling crummy.  Our friend Monique took him home, so I could make it to work for a couple of hours and made him chicken and rice soup!  And actually got him to eat something today!!
             I had to cancel, skip and reschedule a few things to get home to him by 2, grab Autumn, then Cody from school and get them home, so Antonio could rest...Autumn reminded me "Mama always like to wash the sheets alot when we were sick!"...so, she helped me do the sheets and blankets.

             It was a tricky day, but could have been a lot worse - thanks to those who texted me during the day and called to ask how Cody was doing and give me the strength I needed, so when I was close to blowing a circuit, you pulled me back and reminded me of what was important!

             And the rains today were so beautiful.  Starting with that wicked storm that blew through this morning, raining buckets literally the moment I got the bambini safely into school and following me up north to work...and ending with the storm turned gentle rain this evening, cooling everything down - we threw open the doors, as Kim used to love to do, to get that fresh smell and cool breeze flowing through the entire house...so soothing.




           

C.C.D. Fantasy Draft

               Today, the little ones started CCD classes at Our Mother of Sorrows, or Religious Education classes, as they call it these days.  I had no idea where to go...the gate to the classrooms was locked down tight when we arrived, bleary eyed after a late night.  I saw Mario's friend, Rick, bleary eyed as well, approaching and I asked him 'Rick!  Where are we supposed to be?'...'You are asking the wrong guy!'  He told me (and we proceeded to talk about that days NFL match up between his and Mario's Rams and my Eagles)...we found everyone, and I mean everyone, in the church hall. 
               They had assembled all the kids from kindergarten through 6th grade and their parents into the hall.  It was standing room only.  The education director, Laura, who is awesome and has a lot of enthusiasm about what she does, read a random, somewhat disturbing bible quote to start our day...and then failed to give it any meaning that we could apply to our daily lives...I literally sat on the edge of my seat waiting for her to explain what she just said and why, but she never did...then, she said that each teacher, for each grade, would call roll and when the child's name was called, that child should proceed to the front of the hall...seriously.
              It had the feel of a draft.  We sat in a row with Andrea, Lupe, Manny and kids.  Manny felt it was like a draft, too.  Breanna was selected first.  We clapped politely.  Then Monsi.  Then Tonio. Class after class.  I congratulated Lexy when she was chosen.  Autumn was last.  "Autumn went in the 6th round" Manny joked.  Horrible.  After each class had completed it's 'draft', Laura yelled a hearty "Let's all say goodbye to Mrs. McKenzie's (or insert teacher's name here) 2nd grade class!" and the class paraded out of the hall.  When it was over, we sat there, not sure what to do next...But, I have to say, it was fun in a way and we had good company!  The church does do a fantastic job with the content of their classes - I feel the kids have learned a great deal since we transferred to OMOS last February!  The kids enjoyed being back in class, came out smiling as we gathered them up and prepared to head to Viro's (where they have hung a beautiful photo of Kim!!)...Rick mentioned that the Rams had taken a 7-0 lead over the Eagles...damn!

             Today, I also needed to get to work.  Janene 'volunteered' last month, to help out with the bambini today.  She took her boys Brendon and Bryson, Andrea's girls, Lexy and Breanna and Cody, Autumn and Tonio to Skate Country.  Then back to her house to swim.  Brad cooked out hamburgers and hotdogs for the kids.  She brought them back to my house around 9:00, where Andrea met her to get the girls and got the bambini showered up and in bed (with a little ibuprofen for Tonio who had a mishap at the skating rink and was running a slight fever)...When I made it home around 10:00, Tonio was sound asleep.  Autumn woke when I came in to say goodnight to me and then we went out to say goodnight to Mama and babbled on about what a great day they had!...Cody actually fell asleep shortly there after, exhausted from a fun day!  Janene took such good care of all...EIGHT of these kids today!!
 
                We are blessed!!

                        Love,
                             Dave

PS And I still cannot believe that Cody saw a coati and got that great picture of it yesterday!!!

Tonio's Day Out

                    It was a busy day...Tonio told me so.  "Dad, we did a ton of stuff today!"...And we did most of it alone, just he and I.  I tried to remember the last time I only had one of the bambini with me...and couldn't.

                   Cody left first.  Lured by the excitement of a picnic, hiking, etc at Colossal Cave Mountain Park, with Jesus and his family.  They packed a lunch and hit the desert.  It never went over 92 degrees today, making it down right chilly.  Later in the afternoon, he excitedly texted me that they had spotted a coati, known as a tejon in Mexico.  It is a member of the racoon family, but we've never seen one in Tucson.  Kim and I once saw one while camping at lake Patagonia, but not up here.

                   We dropped Autumn off at Angie's house.  Angie gave her a ride to Kim's baby shower, held at the Chuy's on 22nd and Kolb...the very first place Kim and I ate at when we arrived in Tucson...Autumn was so excited to be going and got herself dressed up and did her nails!  She made sure to find out what Lexy, Breanna and Andrea were wearing, so she would choose the right outfit - it was pretty cute!

                 That left Tonio and I.  "What will we do Dad?"  he asked, a little sad, realizing he did not receive an invite with anyone...I asked him what he wanted to do, and told him it was our special day to have fun!  "Really?...Can we see a movie?"...He ended up selecting the Green Lantern as the movie he wanted to see (at the cheap theaters on Kolb and Speedway)..."Can we get a huge bucket of popcorn?  Do they give free refills?  Can I get a bag of candy, too?"...we settled on the large popcorn and did manage to finish it!

                      
                    We both enjoyed the movie, it was good!  As we walked out, I asked Tonio what he wanted to do next..."Can we go to Toys R Us?"  Sure!!  He spent a half hour in the Lego aisle and I let him pick out a small set, telling him it will remind him of our day together.  He was beaming.  We stopped into the Park Mall for a quick look around...then Home Depot for some more portulacas and some other stuff we needed...then Sunflower Market for fruit, which I let Tonio pick out (plums, peaches, cantaloupe and raspberries!).  These kids eat a ton of fruit...I'm not complaining.

                   Finally, it was time to head up to Chuy's to get Autumn from Kim's shower.  As we approached, it began to rain.  There were some incredible strikes of lightning over the Catalina mountains.  We parked and ran into the restaurant, Tonio giggling over how cold the rain was.  And he was just in time for cake!  How convenient...
                  The rain began to get harder.  And harder.  Until it was coming down in biblical proportions!  It beat down on the tin roof at Chuy's, so loud, it made conversation difficult.  We were trapped there for over an hour as the wind blew and the rain crashed down, turning to hail for a time.

              

                 Breanna and Tonio were fascinated by the hail and the 'cats and dogs' that the rain produced.  Kolb was transformed into a river.  I love this picture!

                 Now, to be 'trapped' at Chuy's...well, for me, it was akin to Tonio being 'trapped' at Toys R Us!!  I was enjoying every minute of it!  Especially remembering all of the good times Kim and I had going to this particular location...I love the chips and salsa there!  And the kids were all having a good time, eating cake, watching the rain, etc.  We all got a little wet as we loaded up all of Kim's gifts into several cars.  I pulled Angie's around and came in feeling like someone had doused me with a hose!

                On the way home, I lectured the kids about water safety during monsoon.  Every year, motorists get trapped, and usually, at least once a year, someone drowns.  Two motorists had to be rescued yesterday.  I cut across Irvington, to avoid the lake that appears at Valencia and Kolb and whoosh!!  I hit a huge puddle of water, the kids screamed as our truck was engulfed in a wave!!

              When we got home, we opened up all of the doors...the creosote smelled so good tonight!

              We ended the night with yet another Kimmy favorite - the Wedding Singer.  She loved Drew Barrymore in this one and was an Adam Sandler fan...Tonio, muttered some gibberish, thank you for a great day Dad, before crashing out on the couch...

Love you little buddy...sweet dreams....

Death Becomes Her

          Not Kimmy, no.  'Death Becomes Her' was one of Kim's favorite movies.  Starring Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn, her two favorite actresses.  A dark comedy, they discover a way to live forever - it's a 'careful what you wish for' lesson...
          Tonight, the bambini and I watched it.  They liked it quite a bit!  I told them, that when this film was made back in 1992, the studios did not just automatically put every movie out for sale on DVD.  Kim and I saw this in the theaters, she loved it and I watched for it to come out on DVD.  It took me five years to find!  I ended up at Sun Coast Video and spent about three times what it was worth...but, for Kim?  It was worth every penny!!  She would belly laugh at parts in this movie!!

   

           I believe we saw nearly every movie that these ladies ever did.  She especially loved 'Overboard', with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell and 'Bridges of Madison County' with Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood.  And some more randomness:

 

            There were new hats waiting for the girls after I picked them up at school!  'Fall' hats...fedoras that have little skeletons around their bands!  Lexy, Autumn and Breanna were delighted with this surprise!!  Andrea recalled, how cute and excited Kim was the day she presented the girls with their pin striped fedoras that they favor.  She called them all over 'Come here girls!', giggling and grinning, pulling them up from the side of her red, Lazy Boy recliner, where she had been hiding them.  We talked about how much fun she had shopping those last couple of days, picking things out for people, like the girls...a blessing...

             These guys have such fun together - we checked out the new Subway and the girls devoured their sandwiches, before we headed home for them to play together, made a little of Kimmy's banana bread, too..They had a great night together.

            Kim, 14 years after working at Ventana Animal Hospital, still so fondly remembered...surprised?  I called this morning on my way into Barnes & Noble...'Hello, I've run out of heart guard for my pup (heart guard is to prevent animals from getting heart worms carried by mosquitoes).  Does Dr. Burrows need to see her for me to get new meds?'  'Well, of course!  What is your last name?'  "Conca.  C. O. N. C. A."  "Wait a minute, I know you.  For you, no appointment necessary, just stop in.  You can do as you please."  Kimmy paving the way.  Thank you Ventana, and a discount to boot.  She just keeps giving...

          And James Blunt sings Tears and Rain...what I am feeling now.

           Well, the bambini want to watch '50 First Dates', another Kimmy favorite, with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler.  Kim and Autumn would watch this over and over.  Kim thought Sandler's determination to woo Barrymore reminded her of mine for her...except, I don't suppose I was as amusing...

            The monsoon that blew throughout tonight was fabulous.  The cooling winds and rains reminded us of a beach day...and the smells of the creosote were great.  It only got up to about 99 today.  Break out your hoodies!  We sure got a lot of rain, too, which was so nice...soothing...

           Today, the bambini are all happy...smiling...content...it does my heart good...

             “For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away [life is short].” – James 4:14 NKJV

              Love,

                       Dave

PS Irony...I'm reading 'Sleepless' by Charlie Huston...

          

Our Mother of Sorrows

           It's not Friday...but, things come up.  I will not be able to go to the Mission tomorrow, but felt compelled to get to church.  To pray.  And to light a candle for Kim.  I was late.  For everything, but the good Lord was smiling on me today...
          First, I went into the parish office at Our Mother of Sorrows, where we transferred to after Kimmy passed, so that Angie and her family could help on Sundays if I have to work. I needed to register the bambini for religious education classes, which start Sunday.  The deadline was last Friday, Andrea had warned me, but sometimes it's like I'm walking through waste deep wet concrete...The lady at the desk fixed me with an icy stare when I told her what I needed help with (anybody who grew up Catholic understands the instant guilt trip that we send ourselves on in these situations - this lady sent me speeding first class!).  "I'll get Cindy" she said ominously...Cindy took a look at my paperwork and said "Oh.  You must know my daughter, Chrissy DeBono, who teaches at Cottonwood."  YES!  We love her!  I told her mom.  Everything went well from there!!
          I explained that I wanted to try to get Tonio's little buddy, Monsi in the same class and that she could expect to see Lupe, Monsi's mom, in later today.  Cindy said she would take care of it for us!!
           But, I missed Mass.  I went in anyway, in search of candles and to pray.  The candles are very high tech.  It took me quite awhile to figure out that you just press a button to 'light' one.  They have a nice kneeling bench right there at the base of a statue of Mary holding Jesus and some prayer sheets, which I used.  Then, I made my way over to a group of ladies praying the rosary and 'eaves dropped' praying along with them, for Kimmy.

           On my way back out to Cottonwood, to help Casey in Autumn's class, Lupe called.  We had just passed each other (which means I beat her registering Tonio by at least a 1/2 hour!).  I warned her about the desk lady "Avert your eyes!"  But, also let her know about the blessing of having Cindy there to help!!
           I was able to volunteer in Aut's class until around noon and then over to Desert Sky Middle school to meet with principal, Micah Mortensen and office manager, Cindy Petersen (commish of our fantasy league, who refuses to trade me LeSean McCoy!) to discuss plans for Kimmy's dinner next month...thanks for the suggestions to hit Starbucks, Ace, etc - still looking for that $$ sponsor, if anyone has any ideas/contacts!!  But, it is coming along well and should be a nice, family event!

        I picked up the little ones, Cody was staying after to watch the freshman football game (they won!) to see his friend, Jesus play.  Autumn, always starving after school, alerted me that it was Thursday.  Which means Italian Wedding soup at Viro's!!  Vito gave us a behind the scenes tour to show us how he expanded his kitchen and added more ovens.  Autumn and Tonio enjoyed that, especially seeing Rosa making the pastries!  They both devoured their bowls of soup and gelato (watermelon for Aut and straccitella for Tonio).  I stuck to the manicotti.

"fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Love,

 Dave

Buddy's Grill

                    When I got to Buddy's Grill, around 5, there were Autumn and Tonio, seated quietly, playing games on Casey Ruzena's (Aut's teacher) phone and Ipad...blending in with the other teachers, administrators and district office personnel assembled there for a meeting...Casey is so involved on committees for leadership, meeting planning, etc., not to mention singing in the Vail Choir, taking classes towards her second masters degree AND being about 8 months pregnant!!  And yet, she finds time to help me out and take such good care of the bambini for me!!
                   Thanks to her, I could work my 9 hours at Barnes & Noble - and then I visited 17 business here in Rita Ranch, asking for their help with Kimmy's dinner next month...I pointed out to the owner of Buddy's, that there was a table full of Vail School District employees in his restaurant and that Kim had often asked for his help for various school functions...he came through with a lunch for two gift certificate to be raffled off at her dinner!  I hope to hit another 10 or so tomorrow - do the three of you who still read the blog have any ideas of who might give generously (and thank you for continuing to read!!)... (after helping in Tonio's and Autumn's class - you see why I feel the need to give back???).


                 Meanwhile, Bella has gone off the deep end...

              

She is a gun nut and loves to threaten us all with annihilation! 

And the bambini, well, their cultural evolution continued tonight...

A classic that I picked up today from Barnes & Noble (great half price sale on many DVD's and 40% off Blu Ray!!)

You know, as I've said many times since starting to write Kimmy's blog, we are all faced with tragedy, loss, suffering...and today was no different as we lost a wonderful co-worker at Barnes & Noble to cancer. 

Lynne Moser was a joy to work with.  She had an incredible work ethic.  Always had a smile for everyone.  Worked in our faced paced cafe (we rank in the top 5 busiest Barnes & Noble cafe's in the country!!), and had a kind word for everyone.  She was always busy and positive.  When Kimmy got sick, she was right there with encouraging words. 

    Her daughter, Tiffany, worked with us there in the cafe' for a time, too.  And she had a son.  She was a great mom and loved her family.  She was diagnosed with cancer in November, while Kim was in the hospital fighting (and continuing to make us all smile!).  She was upbeat and positive and had deep faith. I would have liked to tell her, one last time, how special she was to us.  And to ask her to say hi to Kim for me, when she saw her in Heaven...I'm glad she is now cancer free and no longer suffering.

       This morning, in the chaos that ensues when I must get out of the door by 6:00, yet need to wake the bambini...I neglected to pack a lunch.  I nearly skipped it, but, had the fire inspector from hell in my building so decided to walk down to the food court to grab a bite.  I chose Panda Express.  I almost tossed the fortune cookie...almost...

        "You will overcome difficult times"

        With the good folks that I am blessed to have surrounding the bambini and I?  I know I can!

           Love,

               Dave

PS  As if to confirm this, I opened up email just now and Vito sent me this:

 Layman's language 10 commandments! Great reading and very
> thought provoking......
>
>
>
>
>
> Someone has written these beautiful words. Must read and try to understand
> the deep meaning of it. They are like the ten commandments to follow in
> life all the time.
>
> 1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but
> it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout.
>
> 2] So why is a car's WINDSHIELD so large and the rear view mirror so
> small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and

> Move on.
>
> 3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes
> years to write.
>
> 4] All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will
> not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.
>
> 5] Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a
> Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a
Base
> of Gold!
>
> 6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from
> above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!
>
> 7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when
> GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.
>
> 8] A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than
> losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"
>
> 9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and
> sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for

> you.
>
> 10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today
> ’s PEACE. If you really enjoy this, please pass to others. It may brighten
> someones day... 

Waiting for the Sun

          February, 25, 2004

                     " Today is my Dad's Birthday.  We are all remembering the wonderful Dad, friend and person he was to everyone.  We went to the Mission this evening to light candles in Mary's Chapel and to say a prayer (thank you Dave for your loving words) for him.  Cody had 'Rodeo Day" at school and Autumn, Tonio and I saw the white bird overhead as we watched the festivities.  Autumn said a prayer to 'Granpop' and blew a kiss to the sky...She's a sweet little honey.  Tonio lightened the mood of the day by waving for the first time : )  Dave ended the day by getting me a special Italian dove charm for my bracelet.  We are planning to go to the rodeo parade this weekend with Andrea and her kids.  Dad will forever remain in our hearts..."  Ripped from Kimmy's journal...

                     This photo does not do the majesticness of this sunset justice...it was an incredible visage of light splitting the darkness...reminding me of Kim, keeping me in the light...and away from the dark...sometimes we stumble...sometimes the darkness covers us like a blanket...and we wait, for the dawn and the sun to rise, and kiss the day, with warmth and light...and hope.
                     We were blessed to share a meal with Lupe and Manny tonight...Autumn and Antonio are so comfortable with them (Cody was picked up and taken care of by Monique and Joe and he got all of his homework done with Jesus!!)...Lupe made a special meal, using black chili, indigenous to the region in Mexico where her family is from...it was incredible...we talked about humanity...and the struggles in Mexico...and cancer...that it is bullshit, and how many more loved ones it is currently affecting...and, in that moment, I slipped from the edge that Kim had protected me from...

                     Have you ever looked inside  the dying eyes of someone you loved?  And realized that that there is no denying the existence of God??

                     

Mother Teresa

          Today, back in 1997, Mother Teresa passed away, having lived a fulfilling life helping others...

           For me, it was a day of reflection...I thought (and thanked God) for all of the lives Kim touched during her journey...at church - the blood drives, the pancake breakfasts, delivering the gifts to the altar, singing in the choir...at school - one of the things I heard most often when helping Kim at school in her position of Volunteer Coordinator, was that she was her own best volunteer...tirelessly working on school projects, fundraisers, helping stabilize PTA, sporting events, supporting teachers, book fairs - I can't name them all.  And somehow, still finding time to volunteer at Cottonwood. Delivering meals to the needy at Thanksgiving and Christmas, helping with carnivals and musicals. I loved her work with Head Sprout, the federal reading program designed to help kids not only learn to read better, but to comprehend what they read.  The joy on her students faces as they raced up to her "Mrs. Conca, Mrs. Conca!!!  I made my A.R. goal!!", and the reciprocating tears of joy on Kim's face as she received the child with a hug and a heart felt "I knew you could do it! I'm so proud of you!!".  And how other teachers would tell me how much they loved having Kim on campus and that she would help with anything, no matter how big, how small or how difficult the job...Of course, the "Smiles Grown Here Garden" that she wanted for the children...we still cannot just walk past it...it pulls our eyes to it, as if Kim herself where standing there saying 'hi' to us...we stand near it, and Tonio and Autumn lovingly pull weeds and miscellaneous debris from it...The students loved her dearly...
          Her work in the community, especially with the homeless...she never failed to see Jesus' face in their tired, forlorn faces...the lunches she would pack for them, cold drinks she would bring them, clothes too...sunscreen...but, I bet, the thing that they appreciated most of all, was her bright smile, the way she would look them in the eye and say something to them to make their day...We used to work the C.A.R.E. Fair each year at Pueblo High School on the south side and Kim would literally change the course of hundreds of people's day each year, as she packed them goody bags, provided information, a hug for the nino's and a smile for the parents...
          "Do everything with love..."

            And so, it was, that we set out this weekend to do just that...

                     Here are some neat gateways at San Xavier that I took pictures of Friday morning at Mass...I carefully dusted Kim's photo on Mary's altar (although, the husband/wife cleaning team do such a good job, that it isn't really necessary...just comforting) and lit candles for her.  The San Xavier school children attend this Mass, and I just love the intro that the sisters give them, as they teach them about different parts of the Mass before it begins, and, each week, prior to the start of Mass, the very last thing they review, without fail, is not to squeeze each other's hands too hard when exchanging the sign of peace!!  Everyone cracks up during this exercise.  I wish they'd let me tape it for you...
               I already told you about running steps and why at St. Joseph's...Lexy and Autumn got together later for a sleep over - we all went to our old neighbor's and friend, the Petersen's for the annual Vail Girl's fantasy football draft.  Cindy, the commissioner, was kind enough to ask me to play Kimmy's team this year for her, the Broad Street Bullies.  Kim named her team this in honor of the Philadelphia Flyer's great teams in the mid to late '70's. 
                Several years ago, I realized that the fantasy football draft was a night away from my family, and I decided that I didn't need to play anymore.  Then, Cindy told Kim she was starting a league and that I could help facilitate the draft...we could both be there!  And, she always welcomed the bambini.  Kim really enjoyed playing, and every Sunday, she'd ask "OK, are any of my guys playing in this game?"  It really got her involved in the whole league and what was going on...and was fun for both of us.  This year, Cindy's husband, Mickey, facilitated the draft so that I could pick Kim's team.  The food was great and I remembered previous drafts, where Kim would try to ask me questions during the proceedings, on who to pick and who not to.  She was so energized and looked great in my McNabb jersey!

              
             The girls rented the Prom, a Disney film and stayed up late, well, not late for them, 1:30ish - they've stayed up until 5:00 a.m. before!!  And, in the morning, I dug deep for my inner-Kim and made them pancakes, bacon, eggs and hashbrowns for breakfast.  Cody had slept over at his buddy, Jesus' house, so I had the normal three bambini that morning.   The kids played video games, watched more movies, Tonio helped me with yardwork...until they were hungry again - so I grilled them burgers, dogs and corn on the cob...
               ...then, to the movies to see The Zookeeper, starring Kevin James.  We met Angie, Andrea and Breanna there - it kept the kids laughing the whole time (funnier than Mall Cop and being shown at the cheap theaters now!).  We all went to Applebees and met Angie's youngest daughter, Kim and her kids for dinner.  Applebees
             

                            
                         Speaking of 'bonus'...my friend, Karen, found Tastyklairs while at the beach in New Jersey!!  She sent us a six pack - they are every bit as good as I remember them from high school!  I'd buy one of these for Kim at Pott's hot dog shop on our walk home from school...

               Sunday morning, I snapped this sideways shot of some bleary eyed bambini as we sat in church at Our Mother of Sorrows...afterward, we had breakfast at Viro's and Rosa and Vito were able to sit with us and help fill our bellies...

                      Followed by swimming (we waited an hour before we swam so the sharks wouldn't eat us) at Janene's with Angie and Kim and her kids...It was as hot as the surface of the sun Sunday, and the cooling waters of the pool were just what we needed!  That's Tonio springing off the dive!  It is hard to believe he just learned how to swim six months ago...
                     The evening was gorgeous, so I took the kids on a bike ride, Cody's buddy Alex joining us...

                

                       
                        We saw a rainbow over the Rincon's...

                          Alex and Cody soak in the view...Cody's snapping a photo at the same time as me...

                 The sun setting in the west was brilliant...Tonio swore it was Mama saying 'hi'!
                  We ended our night with the Jason Statham/Brad Pitt classic 'Snatch'...Cody and I making it well past midnight (in fact, Mary, I believe I was still awake when you posted your comment!!  Thank you : ) )
                
                   Today, we did some more swimming at Janene's...it was a beautiful day, slightly overcast and much cooler than it has been over the last couple of weeks...Angie, Andrea, Janene, Kristie (in from N.M.) and Kim and all of their kids were there - poor Brad and Janene, had just made it down the mountain from camping in time to entertain us all! The children's laughter, as they played in the pool was fantastic...let me see if I can name the multitudes...Cody, Brendon,Andres,Autumn, Lexy, Mariah,Tonio,Trinity,Breanna,Bryson,Richie,Kason and Micah. There were squirt guns, fun noodles, buckets, basketballs and many acrobatic flips and dives off of the diving board!!

                  As it got dark, we tried to fit in a walk through the desert with Bella...just the five of us...Tonio pointed out how there was a beautiful peach/pink spot of clouds over the Santa Rita's and I used this as an opportunity to remind them of all of the good we have in our life...the family, the friends, each other and, of course, the memories...

                      Love,
                                Dave
                

A Night in Italy for Kim

      Sorry I haven't posted in the last couple of days...I was torn between reporting on the bambini and our runnings, while working on projects for Kimberly's Foundation...and decided to let you know about the first of the fall fundraisers.
     
       First, let me back track to Friday, when I found myself running the 5 flights of stairs, at St. Joseph's, to the floor that Kim lived on, and to see the caring souls that took care of her...

   

          I ran the five flights in flip flops...my new, comfy ones by Reef...twice, because once just did not seem good enough today.  I had just met with John Gimmler and Nancy Kirk (who administers Kim's fund for me through Carondelet).  John is in the fund raising business, too.  Nancy thought I might be interested in his latest project.  A chapel.  At St. Joseph's. 
          The current chapel is on the fifth floor.  I spent a lot of time there, when Kim would drift off into an uneasy sleep.  First, I'd run stairs.  Then I'd pray.  Most times, I'd be praying while I ran, too.  The chapel is about the size of two hospital rooms, with folding chairs in it.  It served the purpose that I needed it to serve, yet, I found myself thinking, on more than one occasion, that I missed the old chapel that they used to have.  It was torn down back in 2005 for hospital expansion into neurology, a much needed wing.  But, prior to being able to build a new chapel, the economy went south...
          I can see the need for a chapel.  The hospital workers agree, as do the patients.  You need a place to regroup, re energize, etc.
          Also, many years ago, Kim asked me 'what would you do if you hit the lottery today?'...I told her that I'd build a church, on the piece of land just south of the wash that runs behind Cottonwood elementary.  She liked that idea...and added that we could build a school to go along with it...so when John and Nancy asked if I'd like to get involved in utilizing the funds from the fall fundraisers for Kimberly's Foundation, I said 'yes!'.  They showed me the plans.  The chapel will be uniquely shaped and outside, there will be soothing gardens with benches.  I'll add some as I get files that I can attach.
          Of course, Kim will be remembered there, at some level, depending on how much I can raise...and that is where my energy will be focused over the next several months (if anyone has ideas on how to raise large chunks of money, or works for companies that donate to non-profit foundations, let me know!!)...

           Fundraiser #1 will be on Saturday, October 22nd from 5:00 P.M. to 8:00 P.M. at Desert Sky Middle School.  There will be a movie for the children.  Jumping castles, too.  And Viro's Italian Bakery will be catering the event!!  Lasagna, chicken marsala, salad, bread, dessert, drinks, etc...I hope to have tickets on sale at Cottonwood, Desert Sky, Desert Willow and Rincon Vista (and you can get them from me, too of course). A family night out, A Night in Italy for Kim, for $15.00 ($6.00 for a spaghetti and meatball dinner for kids!).  We are looking for sponsors to help with costs - and will create a placemat and posters for sponsor recognition.  It will be a fun night, right here in our community!

            You know Kim gave so much to our schools, our church and our community...I feel driven to keep her alive, through her foundation, that will help so many here in Tucson...

            Love,
                   Dave

Babies everywhere!

             Another great day.  I always love Thursdays, going into the little one's classrooms and trying to help out where I can...today, I was in Autumn's class, where her teacher, Casey Rudzena, continues to amaze me with her integration of technology into her learning plan and the delivery of her teaching, the enthusiasm - I know she is giving Autumn and her class a huge edge on the learning curve!  I got to see Autumn deliver her current event on last week's earthquake on the east coast - wide eyed as she told her classmates that all of her relatives live back there, careful to disclose that Cody, Antonio and myself live here, though.  Her bright blue eyes sparkling as she let the class know about the magnitude of the quake, but, thankfully, there were no fatalities...it was priceless...
             Now, Casey has about two more months to go before she has her baby, but she is not slowing down, having recently joined the Vail Choir and working on her second masters degree, while continuing to work at least 50 hours a week teaching!!  Amazing.
           Tonio is adjusting well to Mrs. Stevens taking over for Jenny Rienstra, who had her baby the day after our home visit on Monday and is doing well...
           So, the big thrill and honor for us today, was going to meet Brinley Montes!!  Mary (Tonio's and Autumn's kindergarten teacher) and her family have been so inspirational to ours since we started at Cottonwood with Cody 10 years ago.  Her sister, Ami, had Cody all those years ago and Kim and I enjoyed that year so much (washing away her fears of the public school system!).  They have been like extended family to us, encouraging, upbeat, and so good for the bambini.  Mary sure had a lot of patience with a young Antonio who needed to get his wiggles out!!  Why, they even volunteered to help with opening day at Kohl's when I opened that building back in 2003!!  What a crazy day that was!
          Kim really enjoyed the year she got to be a parapro assistant with Mary the year Tonio was in kindergarten.  She'd always come home, so impressed with Mary's patience and teaching abilities, giving me specific examples to clarify her point.  Mary has said, during her whole pregancy and birth of Brinley, that she felt the calming presence of Kim, her angel.  That has meant a lot to me...I know Kim would have been  is so happy for Mary and Emilio.
         Mary remembered that first day we brought Antonio into her classroom, how we were gushing that it was the first time we'd be alone since Cody was born and that we were going to lunch together.  A date. We were so excited, but it sure felt funny not having the bambini with us.  I told her that we went to Mama's Pizza, not far from Mary and Emilio's...it was such a nice lunch - we talked the whole time, but, I swear I never took my eyes off our Kim's face the entire time we were there...what a great memory that is...
         You know, Mary and Emilio are not your typical first time parents - these two look like seasoned pros.  Mary immediately offered to allow Tonio and Autumn to hold Brinley.

                    Tonio looked a little apprehensive, but Mary was able to help keep him calm and Brinley sure didn't mind!

                                  Autumn was thrilled to have the chance to hold Brinley!  Again, Mary and Emilio did not at all seem like your typical, nervous, first time parents!  Look at that gorgeous head of hair on little Brinley!  She is such a beautiful bambina!!
                                Emilio let us know that he had ordered some Bengals onsies for Brinley so she'd be ready to root for his favorite team come kick off of the regular season!!  He had the Bengals/Colts preseaon game on (I envied his flat screen, wall mounted t.v. with all of its high def glory!) - cool as a cucumber.

Emilio and Mary have such a great, positive attitudes - they are going to great parents!!  Even their english bulldog, Rocco, has that parental instinct, being so careful around the baby and protective.  We made sure to give Rocco plenty of loving while we were there, too.  And Mary hooked the kids up with some of her favorite blonde oreos - did they eat half a bag of them??

It was a nice way to end our day and we were glad to see Mary doing so well and Emilio having instantly adjusted to fatherhood -I can't say enough about how special they are and how happy we are for them -  they are always great to see and we look forward to having Mary back at Cottonwood!

Who's next?  Anabelle Pearson, another kindergarten teacher who was there when Cody started kindergarten is pregnant, too!!  Lots of blessings coming the way of our Cottonwood family and we have Angie's daughter, Kim's, baby to look forward to in just about a month!!  Wow, where did that time go (although it probably seems longer to Kim than for us!)?

After Kim and I had Antonio, I realized that if we had started having kids younger...we'd probably have ended up with five or so!!  They are so fun!!  It is true, the kids keep us young...

Love,

 Dave

                 

A Day Off

                  My day's off with Kimmy were a special thing.  It did not matter what we did.  We did it together.  Typically, we just had a lot of running to get done, before the bambini finished school, knowing that, bringing them along would just mean a longer day that was more costly, as well.
                 I had off today, and the kids had a half day....
                I dropped them off at Cottonwood at 7:30...ish.  Yes, we were tardy, which I turned into a something of a song for the Perrini's, who hailed us as we ran down the sidewalk, waving our arms and screaming 'We are TARDY!'...
               ...I brought a book with me.  "Mr. Peanut" by Adam Ross.  A dark comedy of sorts, where bad things happen to mediocre people.  I was on my way to get the Expedition (great white whale - made to order by middle eastern oil moguls) emissions tested...
               ...I arrived at 8:00 and the lines to the 4 bays snaked out into the street - I was glad I brought my book!  As I neared the cavernous entrance to bay # 3, I took notice of the young men working inside.  There is no hustle in this environment.  Most of them wear protective glasses, but nothing to protect them from fumes.  It does have high ceilings and exhaust fans, but still, the thick car fumes must be intoxicating and judging from the banter and antics, I was not very far off.  I estimated that during their 8 hour shift, some form of mutation had to be occurring as they drank in the toxicity...but, I passed and I immediately stopped caring as I drove off to Office Max to by card stock for Kimmy's Foundation Fall fundraiser (more on that later...not tonight though)...
                   Card stock in hand, I encountered my first dilemma...Jack in the Box for breakfast or Jamba Juice...I opted, at the last minute, for the healthy choice and I was pleasantly surprised that for less than 5 bucks, I enjoyed their awesome very berry oatmeal and a Mega Mango (Kimmy's favorite drink, that I got for her nearly every day that she was in the hospital)...I am now on a first named basis with the manager, Devin.  'How are the kids?' he asked as I entered...Clamoring for Jamba Juice I told him...
                   I gassed up and donated $70 to those very same middle easterners that I mentioned above.
                   Then, I went by the local Enteman's bread outlet, where I 'stole' two overflowing bags of bread products for $10 bucks.  Damn.  The cashier seemed to be spewing an endless litany of savings that I would enjoy.  Double punches Wednesday.  Free item cuz I spent more than $7 bucks.  Oh, Boboli?  Half price today...on and on.  God bless her.
                  As I was leaving, I got a text from my friend Karen, who happened to be at the beach in N.J. (not the 'shore', the beach dammit).  She had found Tastyklairs.  Which I had eaten daily in high school.  'You should receive them by Friday and eat each one as if it was your last!'  she told me.  I will.  I cannot say how many years it has been, but I look forward to Friday.  If you haven't ever had one and are east coast based (and have electricity - my Dad has been without since Saturday!!), get one.  If you are out here, look me up and I'll share a bite with you.  They are that good.
                 I headed west on Broadway to Toys R Us.  I had called ahead at 9:00 a.m. to see if they had a particular item in stock.  The lady who answered listened politely to my request and told me "you'll have to call back.  We don't open until 9:30.".  Fine.  Then next time don't answer the phone.  I did not drop my name to try to get early help.  I snuck in the Babies R Us side, got my item (which I cannot reveal Mary, because I won't see you until tomorrow!), and got back out, having a chance to visit with Nydia, who worked there way back when I managed that building over 8 years ago...
               On to Fry's at 22nd and Harrison.  I generally avoid shopping at the Rita Ranch location, if I can at all help it...I picked up all sorts of topping for the Boboli...so the bambini could make their own pizzas later!!
               Time was slipping away and it was time to get to Cottonwood!!  I literally got the last spot in the parking lot and damn near melted in the 108 degree heat with 80% humidity as I walked up to the front door and burst into the main office to wait for the bell...only, there is no bell on half days!  I scooped up the little ones, who, by the way, did have a great day!  We drove over to Desert Willow to pick up Andrea's girls, Lexy and Breanna, parking illegally on the loop to avoid the parking lot snarl.  After a quick stop at Andrea's so the girls could change, we ran over to Cienega H.S. to get Cody.  And, speaking of parking lots, you would think after a kajillion years of schools being open, that someone could design a parking lot that had decent traffic flow...
                Cody had a ton of homework to do, so we dropped him at our house and made our way to Viro's for lunch. 
                To say the kids were hungry, would be an understatement.  They ate great!!  TonioBreanna a nice turkey sandwich.  Incredibly, the best cappuccino maker at Viro's, Breanna (no relation to our Breanna) walked in with two of her sisters as we sat down.  She saw us, came over and offered to create one of her magical drinks for me!!  Rose and Vito also came out to be with us.

             After the kids devoured this feast..Breanna got them all gelato - the biggest gelato's I've ever seen!!  It is soooo good, but I didn't get any for me, just sat back and waited...sure enough, Lexy could not go on and offered me her tiramisu and mint chocolate chip gelato, which was delicious. 
            I asked them what they'd like to do when we finished up eating...they were torn between a movie or going to Target.  So, we swung by the theaters, found nothing playing at the moment and opted for Target - these guys are good shoppers!  Then to Redbox for a couple of videos...and back to our house.
            Here's the amazing thing.  We had just spent several hours eating, shopping, driving around and the kids were having so much fun together...but, when we got home, they agreed to knock out their homework for me and proceeded to do so...I was blown away...
            By 6:00, they were ready to build some Boboli pizza's!!! 

          

Breanna's is the one in the forefront - all pepperoni, a dab of black olives and mozz (of course I made the sauce!), Lexy's is back left, pepperoni and mozz and Aut's is back right, mozz, black olives and red bell peppers (Antonio decided on mozz and pineapple!)...they were fun to watch building these creations and ate them up!  Andrea arrived as they were finishing with some incredible chocolate chip cookies (my kryptonite)...

....Cody and I finished off the night with a little quality time, watching the latest Jason Statham movie to hit DVD 'Blitz'...it did not fail us.  Statham plays a tough cop dispatched to take down a serial killer who has been targeting police officers.  The bad guy reminded me of Gary Oldman's character in 'The Professional' (one of Kimmy's favorites!  She loved Natalie Portman in that one).  Best line? "If you are picking the wrong fight, at least pick the right weapon!". 

Well, it turned out to be a good day.  Even though it was a lot of running.  I'm used to it and enjoyed the days spent with Kimmy in this fashion!!

                     And here we have a shot of Jenny and Nick Rienstra's (Tonio's teacher) little blessing, Nathan!!  All 8lbs 9oz and 22 inches of him!!  We were all excited for them!!


"Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him." Psalms 127:3

                         Love,
                                   Dave